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Message: <blockquote data-quote="munkeywrench" data-source="post: 4546678" data-attributes="member: 56150">I swear, I'm going to write a self-help book someday on this very topic. Here's a good story, but there's quite a bit of setup so bear with me.So, there I was in my FLGS reading some old Sonic the Hedgehog comics i had just bought (Mom used to buy them for me for those long car trips to Grandma's house). My girlfriend (she's a hottie, this is important later) is with me reading the copy of V for Vendetta she just bought (she loved the movie and loves the original even more). I look up for a moment to see a kid, about middle-school age, be completely, mercilessly destroyed in a game of yugioh cards by none other than an obese, unshaven, shirt-stained, smelly man in his mid 20's wearing a naruto headband. He cackled and gloated over his victory while saying the kid's deck sucked. Normally I keep to myself, but I just couldn't stand for that kind of thing. Even though It's been years and years since I played yugioh with my little brother, I asked the young kid if he would let me use his deck to play against naruto-man. He agreed and I was able to win with the kid's deck through a mix of bluffing, intimidating body language, and confidence to give me a mental advantage. I made the kid smile and I smiled too.Now to the relevant part. As my sweetheart and I were leaving, naruto-man asked to talk to me. He asked, "How could someone who knows how to play yugioh cards, reads Sonic the Hegdehog, plays D&D, and hangs out in a comic shop be so confident and have such a cute girlfriend clinging to his arm?" My response, in list form, was as follows:1) I DON'T need to make kids half my age feel like crap in order to feel good about myself. I don't need to drag ANYONE down to feel good about myself.2) My Hobbies are just that; HOBBIES. They something I do to kill time. I don't take them seriously. I certainly don't let them define the majority of my persona (I point to his naruto headband).3) I have good hygene. This isn't that hard. I spend the sum total of one hour every day: washing my clothes, showering, shaving, brushing my teeth, and putting on deoderant. Clean clothes, clean body, clean face, clean teeth, clean smell. One for each finger. Not Difficult.---Additional: Overweight? Cutting out soda-pop helps TONS. I used to drink soda a lot, but had to stop because I am a very thirsty person. Water is the only thing I drink now because it's the only thing that quenches my thirst. I also try to walk everywhere I can (you start to notice cool things  while walking that you would normally miss). Learn to cook. It's better for your body and saves lots of money. Finally, for those who always feel hungry, low-calorie-low-fat crackers and lots of water put a stop to my nagging food cravings. 4) I know which of my hobbies is mainstream and which aren't. That way, I know which ones are appropriate to talk about depending on the situation. I don't talk with my co-workers about the concepts presented in Watchmen, but I do talk with them about the latest episode of Lost or South Park.5) Don't have any mainstream hobbies or interests? Get some! It's not really healthy. Learning at least one thing about everything does the mind good and helps keep you well-rounded.6) Speak calmly, eloquently, and with proper articulation. Naruto-man spoke in a whiny voice with a heavy lisp. I told him he needed to chill-out when he talks so he doesn't come off as shrill and annoying. Besides, it would make him sound smarter and more confident in himself.7) Get others to talk about themselves rather than talking about yourself. I takes the pressure of you, you learn more about other people, and you are more likely to be seen as a nice and likable person.8) Naruto-man is anti-social, spineless, and stuck in a vicious cycle of self-loathing. He wants to be a social person who can talk to girls and other people with confidence, but doesn't know how. It's easy, actually. FAKE IT! Pretend to be confident. Force yourself to socialize even though it's uncomfortable. If you make a conversational gaff, apologize, tell yourself your still cool and awesome, and forget about it. Do this so much that it becomes habitual. In time, and through lots of trial and error, you'll be able to carry on conversations with anyone without much difficulty. It will also feel strange and unnatural to think poorly of yourself and to say bad things about yourself.9) Females make up a little more than half of humanity. They are not strange and ethereal creatures from the outer planes. I know that their physical differences seem strange, alien, and highly alluring, but they are people just like anyone else.10) Always seek to improve yourself. Don't obsess about it, but don't let yourself stagnate.aaaaaand I'm done. My heart goes out to those who fit the stereotype because it's really not that hard of a stereotype to break. For me, the hardest thing to do was grasp the reality that it IS possible to better one's own self no matter how bad things may seem.</blockquote>

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