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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Bill Zebub" data-source="post: 9883221" data-attributes="member: 7031982">"Claude, write me a one paragraph email to use to spam small business owners to see if they need any search engine optimization, landscaping work, or a ride to the airport.""Most esteemed proprietor of commerce, I deduce from the elementary evidence of thy struggling web presence, thy overgrown hedgerows, and thy woeful lack of conveyance to yon aerodrome, that thou art in dire want of my most singular services! By the raven locks of Hamlet's ghost and the keen eye of my magnifying glass, I have observed — for I am not merely a man who sees, but one who observes — that thy Google rankings doth protest too much, thy shrubbery hath all the dignity of a villain's lair in the Sussex countryside, and thy journey to the airport is like Lear wandering the heath: long, tragic, and wholly unnecessary. Fear not, good merchant, for whether thou requirest thy search engine optimised with the precision of a Baker Street investigation, thy grounds trimmed with the grace of a Midsummer Night's dream, or a reliable carriage to Terminal B at a most reasonable rate, I stand ready to serve — and the game, as they say, is most decidedly afoot."</blockquote>