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<blockquote data-quote="fireinthedust" data-source="post: 5500847" data-attributes="member: 51930">I see where you're going with this, I think.&nbsp; I have some comments on&nbsp; the game&nbsp; (before you read it, note the comment below the Sblock):[sblock=going over Nexus so far...]1)&nbsp; Fire Benders use lightning in the show, though it's mostly Uncle&nbsp; who's high level.&nbsp; I personally see lightning as a water thing: created&nbsp; by impact between two cloud masses, and in the show it's established&nbsp; that they know clouds are made of water.&nbsp; Air benders use gusts of wind&nbsp; rather exclusively (though Ang certainly branches out as the show goes&nbsp; on).&nbsp; So I get the idea of Storm, and I don't begrudge stylistic&nbsp; choices, but I'd have separated lightning and rain to other areas.2)&nbsp; The presentation is hard to understand.&nbsp; I'm saying this as someone&nbsp; who's getting their own RPG work edited by a colleague, who claims he&nbsp; doesn't understand what I'm saying in many instances; so basically, it's&nbsp; on my mind.&nbsp; I get what you're saying (kinda, mostly), but I'm an RPG&nbsp; veteran of many systems.&nbsp; Newbs would be utterly lost.&nbsp; Just going over&nbsp; the character creation page, you mention devices, but don't say whether&nbsp; they cost LA.&nbsp; You also use terms that you don't explain first.&nbsp; 3) So if I'm right:&nbsp; you pick the campaign level, then pick the racial&nbsp; packages, devices, and magical ability of the character; these are LA.&nbsp;&nbsp; Then you subtract the LA from the campaign level, and fill in the&nbsp; remaining class levels remaining.&nbsp; &nbsp; Next you assign 9 ability score points.&nbsp; There is mention of traits,&nbsp; but the link is to them, not an explanation of what a trait is.&nbsp; &nbsp; Next you get skills.&nbsp; There isn't an explanation of what skills are,&nbsp; or how many one gets (like ability scores), but there are links.&nbsp; The&nbsp; everyman skills don't make sense (not every medieval peasant knows beast&nbsp; craft; nor princess, nor scribe) and I personally would just give a&nbsp; list of skills to choose from based on roles (like Dragon AGe&nbsp; backgrounds, or DCCrpg professions), for the everyman skills.&nbsp; Not&nbsp; everyone needs a bonus beyond their ability scores, which is what skills&nbsp; (ie: ranks atop ability score checks) do; while things everyone can do&nbsp; could just be untrained skills, or a generic list.&nbsp; Overall I'd&nbsp; recommend starting the Skills section with an explanation of Basic,&nbsp; Trained, Focused, Mastery; then go into the specific areas.&nbsp;&nbsp; General--&gt;specific (general, everyman, trained, primary).&nbsp; &nbsp; Level up:&nbsp; I'd have the chart be vertical, not doubled up like you have it.&nbsp; Emphasize the 20-level spread.&nbsp; &nbsp; As well, you don't mention experience or how to go up in level after this (is it GM fiat?)Feats:&nbsp; again, not straightforward.&nbsp; Could be written more simply:&nbsp; &quot;You&nbsp; get feats for the following things: 1 per Trained Skill; Plus one for&nbsp; that skill with each Skill Upgrade.&nbsp; Plus 5 more chosen from any of your&nbsp; trained skills.&nbsp; Plus 2 feats per level (your choice).Merits, Hero and Social Points:&nbsp; no explanation on this page, in terms&nbsp; of what they do, and why you opted to have them and not just more feats&nbsp; or skills.&nbsp; Otherwise:&nbsp; I'd like to see example characters.&nbsp; This step-by-step would&nbsp; work really well with a character created at each step of the process.&nbsp;&nbsp; Maybe two characters, one a standard PC type (warrior, wizard,&nbsp; airbender/avatar, etc.), and the other a more unusual creature.[/sblock]I will say now that I have a lot of respect for Nexus d20.&nbsp; It looks&nbsp; fun, and if you ran a pbp game (where, say, I could play a multi-bender&nbsp; Avatar type, cause that would rock), I would play.&nbsp; Hint, hint.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="fireinthedust, post: 5500847, member: 51930"] I see where you're going with this, I think. I have some comments on the game (before you read it, note the comment below the Sblock): [sblock=going over Nexus so far...] 1) Fire Benders use lightning in the show, though it's mostly Uncle who's high level. I personally see lightning as a water thing: created by impact between two cloud masses, and in the show it's established that they know clouds are made of water. Air benders use gusts of wind rather exclusively (though Ang certainly branches out as the show goes on). So I get the idea of Storm, and I don't begrudge stylistic choices, but I'd have separated lightning and rain to other areas. 2) The presentation is hard to understand. I'm saying this as someone who's getting their own RPG work edited by a colleague, who claims he doesn't understand what I'm saying in many instances; so basically, it's on my mind. I get what you're saying (kinda, mostly), but I'm an RPG veteran of many systems. Newbs would be utterly lost. Just going over the character creation page, you mention devices, but don't say whether they cost LA. You also use terms that you don't explain first. 3) So if I'm right: you pick the campaign level, then pick the racial packages, devices, and magical ability of the character; these are LA. Then you subtract the LA from the campaign level, and fill in the remaining class levels remaining. Next you assign 9 ability score points. There is mention of traits, but the link is to them, not an explanation of what a trait is. Next you get skills. There isn't an explanation of what skills are, or how many one gets (like ability scores), but there are links. The everyman skills don't make sense (not every medieval peasant knows beast craft; nor princess, nor scribe) and I personally would just give a list of skills to choose from based on roles (like Dragon AGe backgrounds, or DCCrpg professions), for the everyman skills. Not everyone needs a bonus beyond their ability scores, which is what skills (ie: ranks atop ability score checks) do; while things everyone can do could just be untrained skills, or a generic list. Overall I'd recommend starting the Skills section with an explanation of Basic, Trained, Focused, Mastery; then go into the specific areas. General-->specific (general, everyman, trained, primary). Level up: I'd have the chart be vertical, not doubled up like you have it. Emphasize the 20-level spread. As well, you don't mention experience or how to go up in level after this (is it GM fiat?) Feats: again, not straightforward. Could be written more simply: "You get feats for the following things: 1 per Trained Skill; Plus one for that skill with each Skill Upgrade. Plus 5 more chosen from any of your trained skills. Plus 2 feats per level (your choice). Merits, Hero and Social Points: no explanation on this page, in terms of what they do, and why you opted to have them and not just more feats or skills. Otherwise: I'd like to see example characters. This step-by-step would work really well with a character created at each step of the process. Maybe two characters, one a standard PC type (warrior, wizard, airbender/avatar, etc.), and the other a more unusual creature.[/sblock] I will say now that I have a lot of respect for Nexus d20. It looks fun, and if you ran a pbp game (where, say, I could play a multi-bender Avatar type, cause that would rock), I would play. Hint, hint. [/QUOTE]

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