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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DEFCON 1" data-source="post: 9391280" data-attributes="member: 7006">You are correct.  Voicing a preference is not whining.  If that's all you do.  But you know as well as I do that most of the time around here the "voicing a preference" is coupled with insults to the designers of D&D for being morons who didn't get the "obvious rules" right, and usually no reference to actually fixing their problems themselves, giving the impression with their words that they are going to just be mad because they aren't getting what they want.Is this everybody?  Nope.  Does it happen way more than it should if this place was full of mature adults?  Abso-freaking-lutely.The D&D game that was published in 5E14 and the one that will be published in 5E24 have a lot of rules... many of which I don't prefer to use.  Why?  Because that's what WotC wrote.  Now I cannot change any of that.  The book is written and nothing I can say or do will go back in time and re-write things.  So if I come here and state my preferences... they should be coupled with the understanding and inference from the readers that I know the game is the game and my comments are not trying to change anything.  For me personally?  My comments on rules preference are usually attached to how I have changed the rules myself to give me what I want.  I don't like X rule... so I've decided to use Y rule instead.Why?  One, because it makes me look like less of a schmuck.  I had a problem, and I fixed my problem.  I didn't just show up here and write posts that seem to imply I'm just holding my breath until WotC solves my problem for me by re-writing the rules to my satisfaction.  And two... who knows, maybe someone with a similar problem will see how I've house ruled my game to fix it and think "Hmm, that's a good idea!  I think I'll yoink that!"  Granted... I suspect that's a much lower occurrence, because I personally suspect that most of the time when posters come on here they aren't looking to solve their own problems, they are just looking to vent.  And while some are reasonable about it, a lot of times it seems like it doesn't matter to them who they insult when they do so-- whether it's the designers for not writing things they want, or other players for not having the same feelings they do and thus contributing to the groupthink or survey results that keeps WotC from changing things to they way they want.As far as expressing displeasure at the table (and not here on EN World)?  If (general) you as a player/DM are not willing to state some preferences you have, or listen to the preferences given (whether they be players or DM)... there is absolutely no reason to think you are ever going to get the experience you want because the other people at the table won't KNOW the experience you want.  Which means one of two things... either you play the game as it is and are not happy... or you leave the game without giving any indication why.  Both aren't great, but the latter will probably result in less bad feelings over the course of the game.  But the better scenario in either event is for everyone at the table just be freaking adults and have a conversation.  Come to a compromise.  And if a compromise cannot be found (because everyone has specific wants/needs/desires and usually the DM gets final say if it's something they aren't willing to compromise on)... then at least everyone has heard each others statements and can know specifically why someone decides to step away from the game.  No guesswork.  No mistaken inference.  The DM was running a game one way... a player did not wish to play in that way... the player says they are going to step out of the game for everyone's happiness... the DM finds another player to take the spot... and the game goes on with everyone on the same page.As far as I can see... none of this is hard.</blockquote>

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