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Message: <blockquote data-quote="clark411" data-source="post: 1267533" data-attributes="member: 4768">I couldn't picture my group enjoying the game with as much consistancy if there wasn't a "voice of authority" present.  I agree that being DungeonMaster doesn't give you the spanking paddle.  It doesn't afford you any more respect than you'd expect the other players present and not present to recieve.That doesn't necessarily mean however, that respect should be absent, that there should be no ground rules or fairly obvious ones, and no results for breaking them.  If this guy's listening in was fun for him, but ruined the fun of two other people- who's exactly in the wrong?  I'd say that just with the numbers it's the one guy.  I'd probably leave "Fun" out of the whole mess as it's, at best, often a shallow and selfish defense by those who tend to not play well with others.  It's fine to color outside the lines, but not when your fingerpaint ends up in Teddy's eye.As for the "misconcieved" idea of private conversations in gaming- different strokes is all.  My players love sneaky talk, they love having small conversations- and they usually don't want to know what their characters don't know.  Their enjoyment maybe comes from piecing the plots together, or maybe they just don't want to deal with the metagaming potential (weak will or self aware- whatever makes em happy).  If I direct my attention to one player as DM, the other three will jump on my couches and gab in character about what they want to do.  I've heard some awesome things cooking in their minds as to their own motivations with it.  Heck, sometimes they take turns playing NPCs that they come up with and just talk.  The only aspect of "it's more fun to see it all" that i can concur with is that as a DM, I wish I could give every player a tape recorder so I could listen to it all afterwards.Pushing this away from the "my anecdote says your ideas are kooky and anything but universal tack," and back on track to the original poster... It's clear that this DM doesn't want to resort to a huggy-talk-connect-with-our-feelings-and-wants-and-needs powwow.  That leaves either a warning or a bit of negative reinforcement.  No one else but the DM can really offer either, it usually is an unwanted thing you gotta do... That or just take it like a... well, I won't finish the saying for dear grandmothers.Personally, I wouldn't take it.  If someone couldn't show me the smallest modicum of respect, the same respect I give them as players interested in my campaign- they're out of there, or no XP for the session.  I think that "no XP" is a far nicer option to being booted completely.</blockquote>

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