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Rocket your D&D 5E and Level Up: Advanced 5E games into space! Alpha Star Magazine Is Launching... Right Now!

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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Jack7" data-source="post: 5671946" data-attributes="member: 54707">Early this week the Detonation Truth show  undertook a joint project with Ghost Hunters Cryptonational with the intention  of capturing on a Russian night vision digital animated camera an image of the  elusive Cryptozoic Ghostchild Chupacabra.   This particular Chupacabra is the ghost of a  human-chupacabra hybrid believed to have been extinct since the Aztecs were last  making vulture-heart sacrifices at the Pyramid of the Sun. The expedition was  going extremely well with several unexplained grumbling and incoherent hooting  noises (likely the mating sounds of local teenagers) being captured on audio,  and the face of a unknown creature (probably an escaped rhesus money) having  already been taped at a distance through a kaleidoscope distortion  lens.  However at a time that stopped digital  wrist-watches later recorded as 0235 hours, Zulu time, at a longitude and  latitude that was classified and undisclosed, but said to be just West of  Mid-Atlantis and just South of Lower Muland, the entire Team suddenly felt "very  cold and sorta creepy."  At this point the Joint Strike DT-GH  Team (as they now like to call themselves) witnessed a huge transparent  purplish triangular disc-shaped craft (resembling an upside-down Parkay tub)  rise into the sky, overshadow the moon, make numerous dips and turns at  supersonic (possibly superlight) speed and then spew out several smaller  "Star-Trek style shuttlecrafts" - one of which seemed to crash at a landing  site less than a hundred yards away. There was no sound during this entire  period and all but one of the cameras recorded several minutes of unexplained  visual "fuzz." The other recorded an old Liza Minenlli film thought to have been  broadcast out of Bogotá.   Said one member of the team in utter astonishment,  "Tell me you guys saw that!"  They all agreed that most of them probably had,  but that they needed to investigate further in the case they had missed  something.   The JS DT-GH Team then moved into the mysterious  Rainforest Jungle where they discovered what they first thought to be  an unknown and previously unclassified tribe of half-Razorback Mountain Gorillas  living in the Peruvian Alps. However further examination revealed that the  gorillas were not abnormally tall Ape-Men from the Island of New Galapagos, but  were in fact Bigfeet UFO pilots from deep within the Hollow Earth.  After a hastily arranged news conference with the  JS DT-GH Team it was decided that real, professional UFO Hunters with their own  show should be called in, but that there was probably no time for that. So  instead the JS DT-GH Team decided to record the Bigfeet crew disclosing details  of their mission, including their obvious lamenting of the fact that  Oxygen-Based Global Warming had caused the core of the Earth (which provides  stellar warmth to all denizens of the Hollow Earth) to burn at a temperature of  an incredible 1,000,000 degrees Celsius for the foreseeable future. (Once this  became widely known the Federal Reserve immediately devalued the Celsius scale  in an attempt to stave off yet another Bigfoot Obsession.)  Because of the immensely thick coat of fur of the  technologically advanced Bigfeet it was decided that the entire race should  leave the Hollow Earth and seek refuge on the planet Epsilon Zeta 34 where the  bug-eyed grays and the Lizard Men (formerly of Dinotopia) spawned in the sea  pits of Doofissia currently live together in a confederated imperial Utopia they  call "the Hyborianated Age."  Upon returning to their base of operations the JS  DT-GH Team excitedly used the very latest high-tech Walmart bought equipment  (currently on loan from the SyFy channel) to technically analyze their amazing  interspecies press conference. To their shock and dismay they found that all of  their equipment had been regressed to the Nintendo era and that all of their  recordings contained only left-handed sketch notes for home made Zelda  adventures.  However, even more bizarrely the JS DT-GH Team  also discovered that one team member was over a foot taller than was previously  believed possible (measurements have been inconclusive), several were suffering  from post-traumatic reality dysfunction and had restricted bowel movements, and  that two team-members had disappeared completely and were presumed  eaten.  Investigations are on-going. Updates are currently  available on Rube-Tube.</blockquote>

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