"America's Next Top Dungeon Master"

[buzz]

From the latest column by Wired's ever-pithy Lore Sjöberg. He posits potential geek reality TV shows.

America's Next Top Dungeon Master

In nationwide auditions, thousands of starry-eyed Dungeons & Dragons players are asked to describe their D&D campaign in eye-glazing detail. ("In my game, dwarves evolved from root vegetables and elves are made of living cellophane!") The aspirants are narrowed down to two dozen semifinalists, each of whom has to design a series of adventures for the celebrity judges, none of whom would be seen with a 20-sided die in their hand except that they need the exposure something fierce. The highlight of the first season comes when David Faustino ("Bud Bundy" from Married With Children) gets into a half-hour argument about the grappling rules.

I remember that there was some talk a while back that WotC (?) was actually pitching a D&D-based reality show. Did the d20 bust kill that, assuming it was ever true?

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Reality shows are no longer guaranteed ratings, even if Big Brother manages to inexplicably survive from one summer to the next. I have to imagine a D&D reality show would be hard to turn a profit on.

 

[buzz]

I dunno. If VH1 (iirc) can justify stuff like "Celebrity Weight Loss" (or whatever it's called), I'd think SciFi could probably find an audience for reality D&D.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

I dunno. If VH1 (iirc) can justify stuff like "Celebrity Weight Loss" (or whatever it's called), I'd think SciFi could probably find an audience for reality D&D.

Why would they want to? Most of the audience for a reality D&D show tuned in for Who Wants to be a Superhero, and superheroes have a much bigger audience. Getting a smaller audience with a more expensive D&D show isn't the kind of decision most networks choose to make.

 

[Ulrick]

The D&D reality TV show would take average ordinary people and send them into the wilderness to find a wizard's tower and get the gold ($250,000) in the dungeons beneath it.

Along the way they encounter orcs (people outfitted in costums from LotR) who surround them and demand that they hand over all of their money. They have the option to roleplay it out or fight.

Meanwhile, the cleric (minister) and the paladin (a Sheriff) of the group don't like the rogue (a businesswoman) because she keeps flirting with the fighter (a former marine) to form an alliance to keep the treasure for themselves. The ranger goes off on his own a lot (a boy scout troop leader) to hunt for food and is upset that he doesn't get anything thanks for feeding the group. Also, the bard (a former finalist on American Idol) doesn't like the paladin because he said that singing isn't really productive and wish that everybody would just get a long.

Which is true, because the people actually can vote people out of the group. But each person brings vital skills needed to accomplish their mission (rem: only a rogue can find and disarm traps).

 

[buzz]

Getting a smaller audience with a more expensive D&D show isn't the kind of decision most networks choose to make.

Why would a D&D show be more expensive than any other reality show?

I'll grant you that it's probably a smaller target market... though if there was a MMORPG angle, then you're talking a lot of possible viewers.

 

[Whizbang Dustyboots]

Why would a D&D show be more expensive than any other reality show?

Because superhero shows can be shot on the studio lot or on the streets outside. Castles and dungeons require either CGI or location shooting.

I'll grant you that it's probably a smaller target market... though if there was a MMORPG angle, then you're talking a lot of possible viewers.

I'm not creative enough to imagine a MMORPG reality show, unless we're talking about watching other people play Second Life, which just seems cruel, even for a network executive.

 

[GreatLemur]

Because superhero shows can be shot on the studio lot or on the streets outside. Castles and dungeons require either CGI or location shooting.

I don't think the OP was proposing a LARP-based show. I figured he meant something more like RPGMP3.com with video, plus some kind of competitive angle. Much more workable, although obviously not the most visually interesting show imaginable. (But, then again, haven't people actually been watching poker games on TV, lately? It couldn't be worse than that.)

 

[Kae'Yoss]

Sure, why not? Can't be worse than the crap I see on TV every day. Or would see, if I ever bothered with TV.

I don't know how it's with you over the Big Pond, but German TV is something like this:

It starts in the mornings, reruns of a thousend different soap operas (from the previous day), Breakfast TV with all those nonsensical topics noone in his right mind would care about. I guess then it's some ancient TV series or whatever to pass the time until the afternoon arrives. Then it gets nasty. On the upside: All those damn chat shows seem to be gone, at least mostly gone. We no longer see people being payed to pass themselves off as all kinds of social losers with twisted outlooks and moral concepts ("I date my sister but my fater says no", "Why I'd rather breed gerbils at home than go to work" and so on). But: I don't know if the new thing isn't actually worse: Court shows, where people who just have to be selected for their apparent inability to act (I think they actually train people to act that badly. It just cannot occur naturally) play at being plaintiffs and culprits (usually, their role changes after the half-time break) or judges. Then come all the soap operas and telenovelas, all with basically the same plot items (siblings falling in love and finding out they aren't siblings, lovecrazed people kidnapping others, general murder and betrayal, rape and theft, intrigue and whatever) Until finally it's 20:15 and the movie comes. If it's a movie (and if it is, it's usually something that is aired for the 100th time) and not a series (some of them might actually be good, but often they're no better than the rest) or, even worse, one of those reality shows.

Sitting in the living rooms of friends an relatives for half an hour with the TV on is enough to make me run away screaming.

(okay, I'm done with this rant. I'll just go and wash the foam off my mouth)

In comparison to that garbage, a show about RPGs, with decent gamers and some people who not only know about the game, but are actually fit to be put in front of a camera, would be a refreshing change of pace.

Of course, it won't be done, ever. People might get ideas about how to pass their time better than watching TV...

 

[Kae'Yoss]

That article's a blast, by the way. Just the kind of cynical bastard I've always considered my role model