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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Hida Bukkorosu" data-source="post: 1764775" data-attributes="member: 7494">yeah, but i'm talking specifically about shy people like me.as far as how i dress, i want someone who wants the real me, not some fake person i'm pretending to be.  what it seems is that the real me is someone who girls aren't attracted to, at least not the kind of girls i'm attracted to.as far as jogging and situps, they cost time spent doing something i don't enjoy as well as more importantly, discomfort.  in order to make myself do something like that and stick to it for more than like a day or two, i would need some kind of IMMEDIATE gain to make it feel worth the effort.i guess that's in general how i see life.  too much work for too little reward.  life requires way too much effort, and there's not enough good things about life to make it feel like it's worth all the work.that might be an option if i can find something like that.but i'm not into sports.i can't just go up and start talking to some strange girl, no matter how much i'd like to... i'm just too afraid...as far as talking to a priest/preacher/whatever, i'm not going to go into why that wouldn't work for me because i'm pretty sure it would count as religious discussion.as far as looking in the mirror and smiling, my forced smiles look terrible. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />i suppose, from an objective viewpoint, it's best for the world (other than myself) that someone like me has their self-esteem crushed.  i mean, if I was truly able to realise my childhood dreams, I'd be bringing much suffering upon the world under my despotic regime.  there'd be all sorts of suffering and death because of my wars of conquest.  but because i have no self-confidence, i can't realise my desires.  i think they recognised this and that's why everyone from teachers on down to students conspired to destroy me.  because i was a threat, my intelligence combined with my resistance to conformity made me dangerous.  but my emotional instability made me an easy target.</blockquote>

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