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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Kisanji Arael" data-source="post: 2510576" data-attributes="member: 20056">I didn't used to be a good friend at all. I took what I needed from them and then messed with them-- though never when they were down. I'm not scum. Then, in eighth grade I was at a summer camp and I had a dream that woke me up in a cold sweat. I won't tell you all of it but at the end I walked out of my house and saw a weak, bloodsoaked wolf. I had the innate sense that it wanted to tell me something, but right before it did, I awoke. You don't need to interpret that for me-- it's obvious what it means now. So now friendship is everything to me. I'd do a lot for most of my friends--- at least bury a body, if not in my own basement. But above those, I have three people that I would do anything for, down to killing or dying. Their names are Ben, Bill, and Emily; I'll tell you their names even though you don't know them.Of the three of them, only Bill knows about and believes my little promise. Bill is one of those people who will be kind even when he knows it will make things worse because he has to believe that it will make things better. He isn't the bravest or the strongest, but he's the friend that I keep running into in my worst hours. Sometimes he can't do anything, though more often he can. He has pulled me out of the shattered parts of my mind enough that he has earned my loyalty. For Bill, I will shield anything.Ben has heard me say that I'll do anything, but I don't think he believes me. The two things to know about him are that he is very pragmatic and VERY intelligent. He believes in human nature, and that's why he wouldn't believe in my loyalty. I'll help him make his dreams come true though, if he'll let me. I suppose, to play off my  shield comment, that I will be Ben's sword. And then there's Emily. She doesn't know anything about this; I've never told her. But in her, there is a sense of kindness and purity (though not innocence) that I have yet to see replicated elsewhere in the world. I don't know what I'd be for her if she asked. I'd walk her to her car; kick a wolverine that was after her. It really doesn't matter; I can't say no to anything she asks of me.  I guess the simplest answer is anything.These three are my barrier. Both Bill and Emily are kind; Ben and Bill are school smart; in Ben and Emily's eyes, I see hope for the world. And I need to have all of those things. So I draw off of them by being around them. Doubtless, without them I would just be another Columbine copycat. I was already very accepting of murder before my little revelation. But now I can say that I'm human, both emotionally and mentally. And for that, I would do anything.</blockquote>

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