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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Elf Witch" data-source="post: 5830915" data-attributes="member: 9037">No I don't pass judgement to quickly. I have lived this and I know what it does to a marriage when there are lies.I am not talking about brutal total honesty. I am talking about choosing to lie on a regular basis.The OP says they get together 3 to 5 times a week to play either poker or DnD so they are lying to their wives every week.If they feel that they can't be honest to their wives about a hobby and choose to take the easy way out and lie about it on a regular basis it makes you wonder what else they feel the need to lie about.And lying about it is an easy way out. Marriage takes work and open communication as well as accepting your spouse for their good things and their flaws. First they are not giving their wives a chance to be accepting they are just choosing to lie not to rock the boat.And if their wives would be angry about this and stop respecting them then I have to wonder just how good a marriage this is that a simple hobby would make a wife stop respecting her husband. One of the biggest mistakes people make when they start dating someone is to try and hide anything that might be a turn off. And while yes you should  put your best foot forward, if the relationship is going to grow deeper it means sharing yourself with that person. And if you share and they can't accept you for the entire person you are then that is a huge neon flashing sign that you don't belong together no matter how much you love each other. I can tell you from experience that once you find out that someone has been lying to you and to does not matter if it is a spouse, friend, boss, coworker or child you start wondering what else they have been lying about and you find it hard to trust them.</blockquote>

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