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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rel" data-source="post: 5833237" data-attributes="member: 99">Fairly interesting topic on several levels.I don't hide my gaming hobby much.  But I also don't talk with people about stuff in which they show no interest.  If they find out about me being a gamer (this often happens when they say "What's going on this weekend?" and I answer, "We're having our next NC Game Day.  Got a bunch of friends coming into town for that.") and seem curious then I'll hit them with the elevator pitch about what it is.  I don't tell them about my character or campaign.I'm also a Life and Couples Coach and I don't think that being unwilling to share the nature of an activity that you're spending several hours a week doing is an indicator of a healthy relationship (that doesn't mean that the relationship doesn't have plenty of other redeeming qualities).  This goes for any number of activities but we're of course discussing gaming in this thread.  Consider:Gamer's Statement: "I'm going to play poker with my friends."Spouse's Response:  "I have no objection to this."Gamer's Statement:  "I'm going to play D&D with my friends."Spouse's Response:  "I am going to mock and ridicule you."Now if that is truly what happens then I think that shows either a lack of understanding or lack of respect.  In the absence of a behavior that is actively harmful or objectionable (ironically, poker played for cash could easily fall into that category) it's pretty controlling to act that way about your spouse's hobbies.On the other hand I think what may be going on in many cases is "catastrophizing".  Somebody had a bad experience one time when they told a significant other about their hobby and so they are going to keep mum about it from then on, assuming that they'll get a similar response.  We humans are really good at building these things up in our own minds and imagining that they'll be much worse than the likely outcome.Anyhow, I'm of the opinion that marriage is a lot of work under the best of circumstances.  Adding this sort of deception would be tiring for me personally and I can't foresee advising any of my clients to do it.</blockquote>

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