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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Y.O.Morales" data-source="post: 1713855" data-attributes="member: 4783">FeedbackFirst, dont take my comments as an attempt for bashing your work. I'm just giving my two cents. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> Most problems with your synopsis are related to its format, or the way you constructed it. For the most part, it includes a lot of background info, and by the 7th paragraph is when the action really begins; in other words, is when the protagonist finally sets in motion. You should condense those initial paragraphs, and avoid repetition, like the example below:  We already know by this point that he was arrested when a mission failed, so why repeat it again. You should elaborate more the middle part of the story (rising tension, climax, etc.) and the story's end. Again, cut the background info.Related to your story, you should give the protagonist a better motivation, like giving him some ties with Ganrick and Jeyura (by the way, who is Ganrick anyways, and how he knows the protagonist? It is ideal that you address these questions in the synopsis).Another thing that really needs more work is the ending. Having the protagonist lose the artifact is cool (thus matching the 'heroes never win' thingy), but on the final paragraph it seems that the protagonist didnt solve anything (not even personal) through the story. Go on and exploit his past live, and focus more on his struggle to settle in the present.Well, I would like to keep giving more feedback, but I got other matters to attend. For the most part (and in my humble opinion), your synopsis needs fewer sentence and better character motivation/conflict/resolution. Thats all for now and good luck.</blockquote>

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