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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Optihut" data-source="post: 1740391" data-attributes="member: 23660">I'm a bit surprised that you managed to squeeze that into 10 pages. Be that as it may, it's another solid sample. I particularly liked these lines:"He pulled out a thin, rolled cigarette, and lit it with a cantrip."You know that cigarette has got 100% Eberron flavor to it <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />"“Stupid world,” he muttered. “You’re always taking advantage of my good nature.”"This line is brilliant, especially since the reader is bound to notice it as it is the last sentence of the sample. Both interpretations - the warforged is the patient sort (his nature) or the warforged is a druid (caring for nature in general) - hold true and that's what makes the ambiguity of it even better.Now for the weak points (as usual, these observations are imho & ymmv):The conversation between Hawkins and Parison contains too many modern day expressions, even for a somewhat lenient setting in that regard like Eberron. The most prominent one from the out of place lines would be:"“You kidding? I hate my god damned family.”"The reference "god" just doesn't fit - it would be even more blatant, if he had said "Jesus Christ! I hate my family."I can tell that you were tired when writing the third part as there are a few typos in it:"Alloy’s a weary carver dinosaur" - the "a" doesn't belong."The misshapen, twelve-foot tall, misshapen monster" - one misshapen too many.I got the impression from the setting book that warforged don't feel pain, much less pass out from it. Logically it just seems to be a trait you wouldn't incorporate into a sentient machine of war (to quote popular sci-fi "He doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear and he absolutely will not stop, ever..."), but I guess that's just a writer's leeway.</blockquote>

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