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Story Hour
Auntie Edie & The Professor
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<blockquote data-quote="Goonalan" data-source="post: 3679624" data-attributes="member: 16069"><p>Turn 4: Silver = Good.</p><p></p><p>“I think I hear a noise”, The Professor points directly ahead, “that way Auntie, lock and load, dear lady.”</p><p></p><p>Auntie grins and shuffles towards the sounds. There’s definitely someone, or something, coming.</p><p></p><p>Around the corner come four Goblin guards, a patrol.</p><p></p><p>They spot Auntie and The Professor- one laughs, not sure what the stick is she’s pointing at them, but certain that there are two old codgers in range- easy meat.</p><p></p><p>“Ave yew sin dis?” </p><p></p><p>BOOM</p><p></p><p>CHIK-CHIKKA</p><p></p><p>BOOM</p><p></p><p>The smoke clears, just body parts left, nothing else… hang on, a bloody trail, one of the Goblins survived.</p><p></p><p>Auntie and The Professor share a look, then shuffle on, neither is particularly into running, nor jogging, it’s more of a I’ll-get-there-in-the-end type of gait.</p><p></p><p>“Should we perhaps leave one alive, to ask questions? Dear lady?”</p><p></p><p>Auntie looks over her shoulder, “I’ll go easy on the next one we see, use that thingummy…”</p><p></p><p>The Professor fishes into his hat, “my Taser, capital idea.”</p><p></p><p>The two bowl into the next chamber, expecting trouble and thinking that they can cope with it. It’s an odd looking room, somebody trying hard to make themselves seem more important than they actually are- hence the makeshift throne. The mystery as regards who wants to look important is soon over- Bloodspawn Gutwrench is awake, and pissed off.</p><p></p><p>He’s also got two bodyguards-who rush at Auntie the instance she appears, there’s another Goblin, bloodied, lying by the make-shift throne, dying of his wounds by the look of things.</p><p></p><p>BOOM</p><p></p><p>The Goblin bodyguards scatter, that is they’re blown backwards five to ten feet, onto their backsides, they look at their arms, chests, legs- small pieces of shot fall from them as they shuffle on the floor. They’re unharmed- nothing has broken the skin.</p><p></p><p>The bodyguards look back to Bloodspawn who whispers- “Kill dem.”</p><p></p><p>“AAAAaaargh.”</p><p></p><p>The Goblin’s bodies, twist, shape, crack and claw as they morph into four-and-a-half-feet tall half-Goblin, half-Rat creatures; Wererats.</p><p></p><p>BOOM</p><p></p><p>Chik-Chik</p><p></p><p>BOOM</p><p></p><p>“Silver, Auntie. Silver. Quickly.”</p><p></p><p>The Professor draws from his walking cane a long thing blade, silver edged.</p><p></p><p>The Wererats are getting used to it, Auntie’s shotgun barks and yet they barely flinch, waiting out that barrage.</p><p></p><p>“GET DEM.” Bloodspawn points the way.</p><p></p><p>The pair strike, leaping into the fray. The Professor, slices and by some miracle connects with one of the beasts, a thin streak opening up on the Wererats arm- the blood gushes, and will not clot. The Wererat backs away clutching at the wound, unable to staunch the flow, he looks at Bloodspawn, who only watches on, then at his comrade, who is engaged with Auntie, a tug of war over her gun- finally the gun goes flying, Auntie sinks to her backside, stranded for the moment on the floor. </p><p></p><p>The Professor slices the air before him, wary of the second Wererat, who finally looks around to see his comrade bleeding to death on the floor.</p><p></p><p>“Yew die.” The Wererat states and then comes again, this time at The Professor, who dances forward to meet the creature, just like his fencing master at prep school taught him, the silver blade darts out aiming for the Lycanthropes heart.</p><p></p><p>Alas, at the last instant the creature dodges aside, swings its own weapon, a hefty axe, and-</p><p></p><p>CLUNG.</p><p></p><p>The sword sticks blade is broken off.</p><p></p><p>“Damn.” The Professor goes to retreat then spots Auntie still sitting on the floor, she needs someone to lift her up, he edges towards her, fumbling for his taser.</p><p></p><p>WHACK.</p><p></p><p>Blood flows from the wound on his scalp, The Professor feints away, hits the deck.</p><p></p><p>“HUR HUR.” </p><p></p><p>Bloodspawn points at Auntie, who’s fumbling in her bag.</p><p></p><p>The Wererat closes in, then lunges towards her.</p><p></p><p>FWONG-STIIIIIIIIIIK.</p><p></p><p>Auntie has two knitting needles, one in each hand; they’re buried in the back of the Wererat who slumps to the floor- dead.</p><p></p><p>“Silver”, Auntie intones, “a present from one of my nieces- a good girl, makes a nice trifle too, although her teas as weak as cat’s widdle, pardon my french.”</p><p></p><p>She shuffles back to a wall, then uses it as a brace, gets her grip and edges her backside up till she’s in the standing position.</p><p></p><p>“Oww my knees.” She straightens, stares at the open-mouthed Bloodspawn.</p><p></p><p>“Who are you?” The creature finally speaks.</p><p></p><p>“I’m Auntie Edie and this is my friend The Professor, a dear man. We’re from the past or some-such, another dimension. And we’re here for the Silver. Nothing will stand in our way.”</p><p></p><p>Auntie Edie strides forward- reinvigorated, hemming Bloodspawn in.</p><p></p><p>“Because as soon as we’re done then we can go home, for tea and scones… and… family.”</p><p></p><p>The two stop staring at each other like gunfighters before the draw, like chess grand masters, like…</p><p></p><p>Five minutes later The Professor is awake, his wounds healed- courtesy of ‘Arthur Abernathy’s All Purpose Bolsom and Linctus Mixture’, Auntie has a large bottle of the chalky-syrup in her bag, she swears by it.</p><p></p><p>“And then what happened, dear lady?”</p><p>“Well let’s just say he got my point.”</p><p></p><p>Twenty feet away the corpse of Bloodspawn Gutwrench lies at an unnatural angle, his body pierced in places he didn’t even know he had places.</p><p></p><p>“There’s a way down, a grate- a ladder leading down. The bars of the grate are silver, it’s got some writing on it too.” Auntie points over her shoulder to the grate that has been wrenched open in the corner of the room.</p><p></p><p>“Silver you say, that gives me an idea.”</p><p></p><p>Next Turn: Recipe of the week.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Goonalan, post: 3679624, member: 16069"] Turn 4: Silver = Good. “I think I hear a noise”, The Professor points directly ahead, “that way Auntie, lock and load, dear lady.” Auntie grins and shuffles towards the sounds. There’s definitely someone, or something, coming. Around the corner come four Goblin guards, a patrol. They spot Auntie and The Professor- one laughs, not sure what the stick is she’s pointing at them, but certain that there are two old codgers in range- easy meat. “Ave yew sin dis?” BOOM CHIK-CHIKKA BOOM The smoke clears, just body parts left, nothing else… hang on, a bloody trail, one of the Goblins survived. Auntie and The Professor share a look, then shuffle on, neither is particularly into running, nor jogging, it’s more of a I’ll-get-there-in-the-end type of gait. “Should we perhaps leave one alive, to ask questions? Dear lady?” Auntie looks over her shoulder, “I’ll go easy on the next one we see, use that thingummy…” The Professor fishes into his hat, “my Taser, capital idea.” The two bowl into the next chamber, expecting trouble and thinking that they can cope with it. It’s an odd looking room, somebody trying hard to make themselves seem more important than they actually are- hence the makeshift throne. The mystery as regards who wants to look important is soon over- Bloodspawn Gutwrench is awake, and pissed off. He’s also got two bodyguards-who rush at Auntie the instance she appears, there’s another Goblin, bloodied, lying by the make-shift throne, dying of his wounds by the look of things. BOOM The Goblin bodyguards scatter, that is they’re blown backwards five to ten feet, onto their backsides, they look at their arms, chests, legs- small pieces of shot fall from them as they shuffle on the floor. They’re unharmed- nothing has broken the skin. The bodyguards look back to Bloodspawn who whispers- “Kill dem.” “AAAAaaargh.” The Goblin’s bodies, twist, shape, crack and claw as they morph into four-and-a-half-feet tall half-Goblin, half-Rat creatures; Wererats. BOOM Chik-Chik BOOM “Silver, Auntie. Silver. Quickly.” The Professor draws from his walking cane a long thing blade, silver edged. The Wererats are getting used to it, Auntie’s shotgun barks and yet they barely flinch, waiting out that barrage. “GET DEM.” Bloodspawn points the way. The pair strike, leaping into the fray. The Professor, slices and by some miracle connects with one of the beasts, a thin streak opening up on the Wererats arm- the blood gushes, and will not clot. The Wererat backs away clutching at the wound, unable to staunch the flow, he looks at Bloodspawn, who only watches on, then at his comrade, who is engaged with Auntie, a tug of war over her gun- finally the gun goes flying, Auntie sinks to her backside, stranded for the moment on the floor. The Professor slices the air before him, wary of the second Wererat, who finally looks around to see his comrade bleeding to death on the floor. “Yew die.” The Wererat states and then comes again, this time at The Professor, who dances forward to meet the creature, just like his fencing master at prep school taught him, the silver blade darts out aiming for the Lycanthropes heart. Alas, at the last instant the creature dodges aside, swings its own weapon, a hefty axe, and- CLUNG. The sword sticks blade is broken off. “Damn.” The Professor goes to retreat then spots Auntie still sitting on the floor, she needs someone to lift her up, he edges towards her, fumbling for his taser. WHACK. Blood flows from the wound on his scalp, The Professor feints away, hits the deck. “HUR HUR.” Bloodspawn points at Auntie, who’s fumbling in her bag. The Wererat closes in, then lunges towards her. FWONG-STIIIIIIIIIIK. Auntie has two knitting needles, one in each hand; they’re buried in the back of the Wererat who slumps to the floor- dead. “Silver”, Auntie intones, “a present from one of my nieces- a good girl, makes a nice trifle too, although her teas as weak as cat’s widdle, pardon my french.” She shuffles back to a wall, then uses it as a brace, gets her grip and edges her backside up till she’s in the standing position. “Oww my knees.” She straightens, stares at the open-mouthed Bloodspawn. “Who are you?” The creature finally speaks. “I’m Auntie Edie and this is my friend The Professor, a dear man. We’re from the past or some-such, another dimension. And we’re here for the Silver. Nothing will stand in our way.” Auntie Edie strides forward- reinvigorated, hemming Bloodspawn in. “Because as soon as we’re done then we can go home, for tea and scones… and… family.” The two stop staring at each other like gunfighters before the draw, like chess grand masters, like… Five minutes later The Professor is awake, his wounds healed- courtesy of ‘Arthur Abernathy’s All Purpose Bolsom and Linctus Mixture’, Auntie has a large bottle of the chalky-syrup in her bag, she swears by it. “And then what happened, dear lady?” “Well let’s just say he got my point.” Twenty feet away the corpse of Bloodspawn Gutwrench lies at an unnatural angle, his body pierced in places he didn’t even know he had places. “There’s a way down, a grate- a ladder leading down. The bars of the grate are silver, it’s got some writing on it too.” Auntie points over her shoulder to the grate that has been wrenched open in the corner of the room. “Silver you say, that gives me an idea.” Next Turn: Recipe of the week. [/QUOTE]
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