jasper
Rotten DM
Son I know you only a wyrmling but listen to pops. As you grow pick up some useful humanoid skills, take your dear old dad.
I like gems and statues. So I turn myself into an apprentice to learn gem cutting, and sculpting for the artistic bend of our nature. Next why should adventurers get all the nice throwing stuff? Learn some alchemy skills and toss stuff back.
Imagine Bob Barbarian’s surprise when you fly over and instead of breathing which no doubt he has ask a mage to protect him; you drop a dozen flaks of alchemist fire, some thunderstones, and tangle foot bags. Then you can just wingover and nip Bob off at the knees. Plus he will be partially roasted already.
Now son I told not to eat the wood elves to south of the cave for a reason. Nibbling on the occasion trouble maker thins the herd and makes the survivors pay attention. But always make sure your cattle know that the adventurers are coming and where. Give them the tangle foot bags and thunderstones and have them toss them at the party’s camp during the night. This will cause the party to lose sleep plus they generally buy the line the elves are under orders and are scared. The adventures will generally fall for it because it the true. Then let the wood elves point the way to trapped lair.
Also another good tactic, rip trees to block trails to your lair. If you have the strength drop a small tree or two on them and their camp fire. If you practice your rock throwing, a nice bouncing boulder on Betty the mage is a nice image to fall asleep
Once you able to polymorph yourself, change yourself in a human, elf or maybe even a halfling. It fooled you last year when you tried to eat daddy in his other form. But beware of higher level parties with true seeing and other spells. Remember adventurers are a bother and evil. They want to eat your heart wear you skin, mount your head in the pool room, and take your hard earn treasure. Personally they need to get a haircut, a real job and bath regularly.
However adventurers do carry around more than their fair share of magic items. Once you finish them off, read their spell books, wear their rings, and the empty armour make great scarecrows for the corn patch. Plus if you learn your letters and are good at spelling, take on some forgery skills. Then if the adventurers have been writing home to mommy you can continue the correspondence and ask for presents on birthdays and see if they will put out for a nice Paris vacation during school break.
Remember rogues are evil backstabbing thieves. But learn from them, they generally fall for it if you become a young scawly wag with innocent eyes who was just picking his pocket for food. Learn from rogues and rangers on moving silently and practice hard at. I remember Ranger Rick’s surprised look when he discover me charging full tilt behind him with out making a sound. He had enough to scream before I swallowed him.
You know how I got that +5 holy avenger for your mobile over your crib. Very easy, I just change myself into an elf and snuck quietly into his bedroom as he lay sleeping. It help that I also murdered the inn keeper with his dagger on the way out.
Now hush little dragon don’t say a word
Poppa goanna fry you a mocking bird
And if the mocking bird not good
Poppa goanna serve you an Elvin bard…
I like gems and statues. So I turn myself into an apprentice to learn gem cutting, and sculpting for the artistic bend of our nature. Next why should adventurers get all the nice throwing stuff? Learn some alchemy skills and toss stuff back.
Imagine Bob Barbarian’s surprise when you fly over and instead of breathing which no doubt he has ask a mage to protect him; you drop a dozen flaks of alchemist fire, some thunderstones, and tangle foot bags. Then you can just wingover and nip Bob off at the knees. Plus he will be partially roasted already.
Now son I told not to eat the wood elves to south of the cave for a reason. Nibbling on the occasion trouble maker thins the herd and makes the survivors pay attention. But always make sure your cattle know that the adventurers are coming and where. Give them the tangle foot bags and thunderstones and have them toss them at the party’s camp during the night. This will cause the party to lose sleep plus they generally buy the line the elves are under orders and are scared. The adventures will generally fall for it because it the true. Then let the wood elves point the way to trapped lair.
Also another good tactic, rip trees to block trails to your lair. If you have the strength drop a small tree or two on them and their camp fire. If you practice your rock throwing, a nice bouncing boulder on Betty the mage is a nice image to fall asleep
Once you able to polymorph yourself, change yourself in a human, elf or maybe even a halfling. It fooled you last year when you tried to eat daddy in his other form. But beware of higher level parties with true seeing and other spells. Remember adventurers are a bother and evil. They want to eat your heart wear you skin, mount your head in the pool room, and take your hard earn treasure. Personally they need to get a haircut, a real job and bath regularly.
However adventurers do carry around more than their fair share of magic items. Once you finish them off, read their spell books, wear their rings, and the empty armour make great scarecrows for the corn patch. Plus if you learn your letters and are good at spelling, take on some forgery skills. Then if the adventurers have been writing home to mommy you can continue the correspondence and ask for presents on birthdays and see if they will put out for a nice Paris vacation during school break.
Remember rogues are evil backstabbing thieves. But learn from them, they generally fall for it if you become a young scawly wag with innocent eyes who was just picking his pocket for food. Learn from rogues and rangers on moving silently and practice hard at. I remember Ranger Rick’s surprised look when he discover me charging full tilt behind him with out making a sound. He had enough to scream before I swallowed him.
You know how I got that +5 holy avenger for your mobile over your crib. Very easy, I just change myself into an elf and snuck quietly into his bedroom as he lay sleeping. It help that I also murdered the inn keeper with his dagger on the way out.
Now hush little dragon don’t say a word
Poppa goanna fry you a mocking bird
And if the mocking bird not good
Poppa goanna serve you an Elvin bard…
