Babies ate my gaming group

[Quickleaf]

I love kids, even babies, but I've had two couples drop from our gaming group because of those cute bundles of sleepless joy! And now with only 3 players (one of whom travels frequently) it appears this is the death knell for my gaming group thru at least February if not longer.

Argh! Curse you babies!!!*

Has anyone else found their gaming group torn asunder by newborns with their scheming eyes and weasely ways?
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*OK, not really, I love you. Seriously.

 

[delericho]

Not as such, but we did see a gradual diaspora after university ended - first one guy moved away to get married, then another moved away to continue his studies, then one went back to Sweden to start a game store, and another went back to Germany. Eventually, we had four players, we felt that that was realistically the minimum we needed for a quorum... and then we discovered that most weeks at least one of us wasn't available. When our 'weekly' game actually occurred once in a calendar year, it was time to call time.

At about the same time that group was wrapping up, I took the step of setting up a D&D Meetup in Falkirk, and was extremely lucky in that that was a huge success. Four years on, we now have a network of some 25 gamers, meaning that if someone wants to run a game, they'll probably find players willing to play; and if someone wants to play, they can probably find a game that fits their schedule.

We've since left Meetup for our new site (for various reasons), but I would recommend giving it a go - as I said, it worked extremely well for me.

 

[Empirate]

Tell me about it. In my case, it was my two babies that disrupted my group. Truth be told, the one couple I was gaming with started it, but since we used to play at their house anyway, gaming nights just got shorter then. But now, we're relegated to once-every-two-weeks Skype/Maptool sessions that barely last four hours. We don't get stuff done anymore. It's frustrating. But of course I don't want to leave all the kid troubles to my wife the next day while I nurse my gaming night hangover (just from staying up too late, we don't do much beer while playing...).

In fact, I believe the 'good old times', where gaming is concerned, may be gone for good, or at least for several years, until my kids go to school or something. And by then, I'll probably have left the area for greener job opportunity pastures anyway. Sometimes, I feel like

 

[N'raac]

I don't think it's limited to babies, though they can be a significant factor. It's time - and the added constraints on our time as we grow up. I share Empirate's type of experience that a Friday night game going to midnight or so, followed by a Saturday session starting in the early afternoon and running to somewhere between midnight and driving home in the sunrise is just not practical any more. That means shorter games (even 4 hours sounds like a lot these days), or no games. It also makes it much harder to have a committed weekly schedule. So the games move quite a bit slower. That requires some adaptation, or the game dies.

 

[saskganesh]

My 5 person group is all adults, ranging from early 20's to mid 40's, one with a kid. We all have jobs, school, relationships, outside interests, stuff. We play 4 hours every two weeks, and find the best date available in advance. Come gametime, somebody usually has to drop out that day because of life, so we settle for quorum... 3/5. Game on.

I wish we could play more, and to compensate, I did play in another bi-weekly tabletop game for a year. And that turned out to be too much for me so I dropped it.

So this is where we are at. The new normal. We adapted. Some players dropped, so we found new ones. Game is now in its third year and I've made some new friends. Everyone is my game at the moment is someone I have met through this game, and did not know beforehand. I think that's very cool.

I think what you have to do is come up with absent PC work arounds, be willing to expand your gaming circle and simply just be committed.

 

[the Jester]

Sounds like you should recruit.

Just because a couple of members of the group must drop out doesn't mean the group has to die.

 

[saskganesh]

In fact, I believe the 'good old times', where gaming is concerned, may be gone for good, or at least for several years, until my kids go to school or something. And by then, I'll probably have left the area for greener job opportunity pastures anyway. Sometimes, I feel like

Some really good friends had twins years ago, so what my brother did (he was the DM) was set up the game at their house. It was fun rolling dice with two years burbling around. Eventually they got sent to bed and the adults would play until the glorious hour of midnight. Turned out that mum and dad really needed the gaming break.

When your kids get a bit older, say 8, a lot of gamer parents start playing with them, which has its own joys. Lots to look forward too really.

 

[Cadence]

Baby recently took out 1/6 of our group, but since another 2/3 have kids too it's not like we can complain too much.

 

[Umbran]

Torn apart by babies? No. But I've had one drop because he now has to regularly work in the evenings, another have a newborn son, and a third start chemotherapy, which drastically impacts his energy levels.

Needless to say, my run schedule isn't all that consistent of the moment.

 

[Celebrim]

Yeah, it's a lot harder as grownups to play than it was as kids.

Babies, jobs, wives who don't play.... it all eats into your gaming time.

Worse, when I was a kid I ran the sort of dungeon delve style games where if someone didn't show up, the game could go on without him. Of course, players not being able to play almost never happened. Now that I'm grown up, I run story based games where everyone's participation is crucial. And of course, it's 3 weeks in 4 that someone can't make it.

It doesn't get easier as the kids get older. They'll be in sports, ballet, band, etc. And the parents will be dutiful lawful good parent types who put the needs of their kids ahead of your game. I'm not saying I disapprove (the reverse would be horrifying), but it really cuts in to gaming time.