Balphagor and his good intentions

[Beholder Bob]

My necromancer Balphagor made with this construct with the aid of a priest, with, of course, the intent to help his fellows...

Mother Roach - the size of a cat, this irregular shaped cockroach lets out mewling cat/baby sounds and is very friendly, liking to rub against others for attention. The body is made of stretched flesh, gristle, bone, and thousands of insect carapaces. Running a normal temperature of 105, this feverish construct often rides on me, under my robes, or on my shoulder. Incapable of attacking, Mother Roach is instead the 'healer'. She inserts her ovipositor into a wound and pumps in glistening eggs into them, afterwards she licks the wound, closing it with a drying crust of saliva. Given about an hour, the eggs hatch, releasing thousands of arcane roaches - they eat the damaged flesh and excrete a temporary substance that treats the wound as healed - rotting away at the same rate the wound heals over the repair. After an additional hour, the roaches die while trying to burrow out of the body - some do survive to infest the person they healed, but most form cysts on the skins surface that hold their bodies. These roaches are absorbed into the body over time, but until they do so, these cysts remain until fully healed. Most who undergo this medical treatment suffer from bloating - the large # of roach bodies pushing the stomach out, the decaying roaches and repairs release gas that must be passed as well.

And damn it, I'm a nice guy! How many Necromancers go out of their way to make magic works that heal the group? No one in the group will use it but me! It makes poor Mother Roach cry so....

Would you let her help you? Would you consider him evil due to what he has made - or perhaps just insane? A nice guy to take home to mother, perhaps? He's so tired of the bachelor life. Ask his familiar, he cleans up good.

 

[Serpenteye]

Disgusting, but more good than evil. Just because it's gross doesn't make it morally wrong. There are plenty of disgusting things are good and a lot of beautiful things that are evil. Esthetics and morals are separate concepts and have nothing to do with each others.

But no, I would not allow that filthy thing to come within ten feet of me.

 

[Nifft]

Ewwww. That's a great way to make your world low-magic -- have all healing require really disgusting methods.

-- N, has Roach as his Favored Enemy

 

[Beholder Bob]

Surely you would not deny Mother Roach her one desire, to see her master's friends and allies healed, to provide succor to those in need? Come, let her rub her sweet face against your hand, feel the warmth she feels for all living things. You do not want to hurt her feelings, do you?

 

[ciaran00]

*Stabs the giant roach, screams, and runs away*

 

[Beholder Bob]

There there, Mother Roach. I know it hurts. Some people fear love. It isn't you, its them. You are artwork, my masterpiece [gives her a kiss]. People will learn, soon you will have brothers and sisters to spread the good word, to help the world pull back the lid and gaze on your truth. Oh, I know. Its ok. Let me clean that wound....

Its attitudes like that that worry me as to the response poor Mr. Toad, my current 'project' will receive. Dear me.

Mr. Toad is a deformed humanoid with, well, toad features. He has no lower jaw, exposing the throat's workings to any who examine him. He has wide, liquid eyes that run (my mistake, my mistake, oh my poor Mr. Toad. Your eyes and poor mouth!) that drip tears and frequently blink. He has an oversized hump on his back with open sores covered with a thin film of mucous. Mr. Toad's stomach ranges from bulging like a overfilled sack to skeletal thin, depending on his current status.* His stomach has thick tubes of flesh that hang down just below his lungs to his waist, typically tied together at the belt line to keep them from interfering with his movement. His hump is hollow, with mucous barriers to keep the fluid stored in the hump from spilling. Like a dromedary, this hump holds several days of water. The tubes of flesh grow painful if allowed to grow too long. Balphagor twists the tubes to cut off blood flow and then cuts them off, causing some pain but providing sustenance in the form of 'rations'. The hump is drained by either placing your mouth against the sore and sucking, or by inserting a tube or pipe to drain it. He tends to get anxious when not 'trimmed', but is otherwise a very agreeable fellow, though unable to understand anyone other then Balphagor (& Smaug). He has the mindset of a 12 year old child and reacts to be drained of fluids like a child being hugged (sometimes happily, sometimes he squirms away). He expresses happiness with dance and clapping, and anger with stomps of his feet and crossed arms. He loves attention, particularly from strangers, and likes to play checkers and cards. He is very sensitive to others mocking him.

Mr. Toad was created to provide my Familiar, Smaug (a very large frog) with a moist environment (in the hump) and a mobile platform. Mr. Toad may not speak, but he understands the language my familiar and I share, allowing Smaug to direct him to where he wishes to go. Smaug can push his way into or out of a sore. Mr. Toad must be hand fed ground meat and fluids. The missing lower jaw and exposed throat are the direct result of poor management of my alchemical supplies – I should have checked the causticity before I… Oh poor Mr. Toad!

 

[Greatfrito]

that is so awesome. Very very sick and disgusting, but awesome beyond saying.

Have to say though, I personally wouldn't let the damnded roach near me, but I'm sure there are a few characters who would... like the cleric of a god of courage. What's he gonna say? "I'm afraid of it"? Not very courageous... he'd probably be naseated though.

Dude... those are some of the best reasons to both allow a good necromancer, and to avoid necromancers as the insane plague that they are.

Keep up the fun though!

 

[Anabstercorian]

You have an EXTREMELY cool DM if he lets you create all these critters. Can we see Mother Roach's stat block?

 

[Beholder Bob]

You have an EXTREMELY cool DM if he lets you create all these critters. Can we see Mother Roach's stat block?

I'm using the encylopedia arcane construct book for their design. I'll post the stat block this weekend (I do not have it with me at work). These little critters cost more then it would to make magic items that do the same thing, but a simple magic item wouldn't love me like my constructs do.

 

[Corlon]

very...creative...but I wouldn't touch them through a pair of summoned celestial dire lions.

Why can't your toad just stay in a bowl of water like all the other toad familiars?