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<blockquote data-quote="Mengu" data-source="post: 4607063" data-attributes="member: 65726">Layout looks fantastic. You could change the first phrase of the monster description &quot;Barbegazi are a race of small gnome‐like creatures&quot; to an upper case font to make it feel more like MM. You have an oops on the attribute block of the peakwalker, where it juts out a bit to the right. Also monster/race names are usually not capitalized.&nbsp;Sweep - &quot;its&quot; is a bit ambiguous. You should probably say:... and the target grants combat advantage until the end of the barbegazi's next turn.&nbsp;Dig Deep - I'd change the order of things a bit to roll the snow condition into the trigger, change &quot;round&quot; to &quot;turn&quot;, and change &quot;they&quot; to &quot;it&quot;.&nbsp;Dig Deep (immediate reaction when damaged while standing on snow; encounter)The barbegazi immediately burrows one square down, filling in the snow above them. It can return to the surface at the beginning of its next turn as a free action.&nbsp;Toppling blow - there isn't too much of a reason to make this a secondary attack. In monster design I always try to eliminate anything that may slow down the resolution of an attack. I'd change it so when a barbegazi has combat advantage and hits his target, he knowcks the target prone.&nbsp;Also it's confusing that Toppling blow does something different for the peakwalker and snowcaller. I'd make the abilities the same. Then add a new ability to the snow caller so he deals an additional 2d6 damage to targets he has combat advantage against. This will essentially yield the same result, but will be faster to resolve.&nbsp;Avalanche Song should say (standard; encounter; recharges when first bloodied)&nbsp;I'd also add an aura to the snowcaller, so enemies starting their turn adjacent to the snowcaller take 2 points of cold damage. Since he doesn't have an at-will way to attack twice a round, the aura will make up for that.&nbsp;And to bolster his lurker status, I'd add one more ability that says his Dig Deep ability recharges and he immediately uses it when bloodied. Otherwise he might not feel like an elite lurker, but more like an elite skirmisher.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="Mengu, post: 4607063, member: 65726"] Layout looks fantastic. You could change the first phrase of the monster description "Barbegazi are a race of small gnome‐like creatures" to an upper case font to make it feel more like MM. You have an oops on the attribute block of the peakwalker, where it juts out a bit to the right. Also monster/race names are usually not capitalized. Sweep - "its" is a bit ambiguous. You should probably say: ... and the target grants combat advantage until the end of the barbegazi's next turn. Dig Deep - I'd change the order of things a bit to roll the snow condition into the trigger, change "round" to "turn", and change "they" to "it". [B]Dig Deep[/B] (immediate reaction when damaged while standing on snow; encounter) The barbegazi immediately burrows one square down, filling in the snow above them. It can return to the surface at the beginning of its next turn as a free action. Toppling blow - there isn't too much of a reason to make this a secondary attack. In monster design I always try to eliminate anything that may slow down the resolution of an attack. I'd change it so when a barbegazi has combat advantage and hits his target, he knowcks the target prone. Also it's confusing that Toppling blow does something different for the peakwalker and snowcaller. I'd make the abilities the same. Then add a new ability to the snow caller so he deals an additional 2d6 damage to targets he has combat advantage against. This will essentially yield the same result, but will be faster to resolve. Avalanche Song should say (standard; encounter; recharges when first bloodied) I'd also add an aura to the snowcaller, so enemies starting their turn adjacent to the snowcaller take 2 points of cold damage. Since he doesn't have an at-will way to attack twice a round, the aura will make up for that. And to bolster his lurker status, I'd add one more ability that says his Dig Deep ability recharges and he immediately uses it when bloodied. Otherwise he might not feel like an elite lurker, but more like an elite skirmisher. [/QUOTE]

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