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<blockquote data-quote="Jarik" data-source="post: 3187607" data-attributes="member: 43936"><p>The first thing to greet them was a young boy, wearing a chalk sign board emblazoned with the words “Heward's Handy Haversack: For all your needs magical 'n' mundane”. The young man wore an expression of consummate boredom and rolled his eyes as the group approached.</p><p></p><p> “Welcome to Berrick, please stop by Heward's Handy Haversack, where the customer comes first..” the boy droned listlessly.</p><p></p><p> “Gah! Roald, if I have told you once I have told you a thousand times. Enthusiasm! Enthusiasm!” A large gentlemen cried, hurrying across the dock in a garish fur trimmed ensemble, complete with a ludicrous ruff collar. “Gentlemen, my Lady, permit me to introduce your humble servant Joss Hooper, proprietor of Heward's Handy Haversack.” Reaching the group he placed a hand upon Roald's shoulder and took several deep breaths, “You will have to forgive young Roald here, he's a good lad, but not much of a people person. Isn't that right lad?”</p><p></p><p> Roald shrugged, and as Joss's attention turned back to the group puffed out his cheeks making a near perfect impression of his portly employer's eager red cheeked visage.</p><p></p><p> Moan s<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />ed, his eyes dancing from the boy, to Joss's bulging coin purse, to a pair of cufflings with the gold peeling away.</p><p></p><p> “So what exactly are ye' sellin' Jossy? We've been at sea for long enough that me chief concerns are wine, women, and, well, more women. This ones a tease” he pointed a finger at Sorriel, “'n' I need a lady who's sellin' what she's advertising! Plus me pal Captain Clean here's gonna explode if he doesn't get religious. Bet there're loads of lucky ladies here hurtin'n for a convertin', hey big fella?”</p><p></p><p> Rellen's brow furrowed, and Sorriel masked a fit of giggles with a cough.</p><p></p><p> Joss blinked, starring at the small man's grotesquely suggestive leer in appalled silence for a second, before managing, “Well there is the Screamin' Pilchard, Irene runs a great place with reasonable rates, and I think she might have a girl or two willing to, erm, well, you know, ah ha, hmm?”</p><p></p><p> Sorriel stepped in, giving Moan a kick in the shin as she brushed past him, taking the Shopkeeper by the shoulder, and pulling him with her as she strode towards the shoddy wooden buildings.</p><p></p><p> “Allow me to introduce myself Master Hooper, I am Sorriel Larkstongue, singer of songs, teller of tales, wanderer and poet. That is Kleethorpes the Magnificent, a great an powerful Wizard. This is Rellen Horatio Marn, Paladin of Heronious, he of the shiniest armor. Oh, and this is Moan. My companions and I have been regrettably short of news on our journey, would you be willing to regail us with the local news? Perhaps as we look over your wares?”</p><p></p><p> Joss beamed, watching Sorriel with dewy eyed adoration. “Well of course my dear! Delighted to fill you in on the local doings!”</p><p></p><p> Kleethorpes nudged Rellen in the ribs, “Remarkable girl that one, if I were fifty years younger... Well to be perfectly honest I would be stammering like an idiot and drooling, but you take my meaning.” The old mage cackled, before scurrying after Sorriel.</p><p></p><p> “Aye come on Ladykiller, you ain't gonna abandon us poor wee defenseless folks are you?” Moan asked, flashing a gap toothed grin at the Paladin.</p><p></p><p> “Well no of course I could not allow Miss Larkstongue to go unaccompanied in such an unsavory locale.”</p><p></p><p> “Ha, with any luck I'll be unaccompanied in an unsavory local before night fall.”</p><p></p><p> “Pardon?”</p><p></p><p> “He he, don't mind me, I'm a corrupti'n influence.”</p><p></p><p> “Heronious accepts all who repent Master Moridin, even if your life thus far has fallen short of the ideal there is always time to start over.”</p><p></p><p> “Oh I'll start over alright.”</p><p></p><p> “Wonderful,” Rellen unslung his back pack and withdrew a wooden holy symbol depicting two crossed lightening bolts each held by a gloved hand, “here Master Moridin, Heronious embodies the highest virtues, valor, loyalty, honor...”</p><p></p><p> “Ahhh, no thanks Pally, I've already got three.”</p><p></p><p> Rellen's eyebrows quirked and he glanced down into his backpack. When he looked up Moan was already past Kleethorpes, his stumpy legs propelling him at a surprising speed. Gritting his teeth Rellen, slung his pack over his shoulder and followed. “A soul redeemed is worth a thousand trials.” He muttered – he did not sound particularly convinced.</p><p></p><p> Heward's Handy Haversack occupied pride and place in the center of Berrick's meager shopping district, and turned out to be far better cared for than any of the other buildings the group had seen in the port. Joss ushered them inside, revealing row after row of common household items, pots and pans, rope, nets, and at the back of the store behind a solid oak counter weapon racks, and a glass case filled with jewelery and gemstones.</p><p></p><p> A Dwarf watched them from over the counter, his attention clearly focused upon the scruffy Moan. “Welcome to Heward's folks, waylaid by Joss fresh off the boat were you?”</p><p></p><p> “Away with you Hrolf, these fine folks want to hear the news and take a look at our reasonably priced, high quality wares.”</p><p></p><p> Sorriel smiled at Hrolf, who appeared distinctly unimpressed and lifted the counter panel, moving off amongst the shelves.</p><p></p><p> “Don't mind Hrolf that's just his way, not exactly a people person if you take my meaning. Still he's the best assistant I've ever had, poor fella got banished, but I am sure glad of him.” Joss stepped behind the counter and instantly looked more at home, “Ah, so let me see news was it? Hmmm. Well there's the fishmen, they have been causing a ruckus pilfering from ships and even raiding the goat herds, old Robar's getting some stick for that.”</p><p></p><p> “Robar?” Asked Rellen, who was examining a grappling hook.</p><p></p><p> “Robar's what passes for a Priest here in Berrick. Used to be a fine man, but well, glug, glug, glug, I'll say no more. Anyway, Robar gets donations for “Fharlanghn” by curing the Captains crews, blessing the winds, and so on; but with all this thieving going on the Captains are feeling less and less religiously inclined. Word is old Robar is looking for some poor fool to deal with things for him.”</p><p></p><p> “What exactly are fishmen?” Sorriel inquired.</p><p></p><p> “Oh you know, those Locothah. We don't usually get them this far north – fishy hey. Ha ha ha, sorry, sorry, just my little joke.”</p><p></p><p> “Ooooh! How much for this?” Kleethorpes exclaimed pulling a bizarre mauve pointy hat with a floppy brim out of a bin of clothing and placing it reverently upon his bald head.</p><p></p><p> “Ahhh, that would be a Ladies hat Sir.”</p><p></p><p> “Nonsense, this hat has elan, flare, majesty! No, this is no Ladies hat, this is a Wizard's hat, namely Kleethorpes the Magnificent's hat! How much?”</p><p></p><p> “Well five silver pieces, I suppose,” the Shopkeeper appeared a little nonplussed.</p><p></p><p> “Never! That will not do, a Wizard must possess a hat which espouses the dignity of his position! Such a hat must cost at least five gold coins!”</p><p></p><p> At this Joss's eyes lit up. “Well Master Kleethorpes we do happen to have some suitable hats, costing, as luck would have it five gold pieces, and more in some cases.”</p><p></p><p> “Poppycock! I shall simply pay five gold pieces for this hat.”</p><p></p><p> Moan winced, “got any marbles Jossy? Cause I think we're a few short over on this side of the counter.”</p><p></p><p> “Pah, you've no sense of style Moan! Look it even has eldritch stars embroidered upon it!”</p><p></p><p> “That is a daffodil you barmy old bird.”</p><p></p><p> Kleethorpes frowned, “to those untrained in the arcane arts perhaps. Anyway I rather like daffodils.”</p><p></p><p> Sorriel had taken this time to sidle over to Rellen, “So what are your plans now Rellen?”</p><p></p><p> “Oh, well of course I will stay with you Miss Larkstongue. I cannot allow a defenseless maiden, such as yourself, to travel alone in a place like this. I am surprised your family allowed you to undertake such a dangerous journey.”</p><p></p><p> “Oh, well, that's..... sweet. You...you....holier than thou god bothering pillock!” So saying she slapped the astonished Paladin, and stormed out.</p><p></p><p> “What did I say?” Rellen asked, still starring after Sorriel with a clear red hand print visible upon his cheek.</p><p></p><p> “Ah, its probably what you didn't say you great dullard,” replied a smug Moan, clutching a pile of goods, worth approximately four and a half gold pieces, that he had managed to get thrown in “free” with Kleethorpes five gold piece hat.</p><p></p><p> “But I told her I would protect her...”</p><p></p><p> Kleethorpes sighed, placing a paternal hand upon Rellen's shoulder, “Look kiddo, she doesn't need protecting. I on the other hand, could use the aide of a strapping lad such as yourself, as it happens I am intending to accompany Miss Larkstongue. Perhaps the three of you could protect me together?”</p><p></p><p> Rellen frowned, “I think you are less in need of protection than it would appear,” the Paladin declared, smiling.</p><p></p><p> Kleethorpes cackled, “he can be taught. Appearances can be deceiving laddo.” With that Kleethorpes hurried after Sorriel.</p><p></p><p> Moan, and Rellen exchanged glances, “I'd be a mite more impressed if he wasn't wearing the hat of eldritch daffodils.” Moan said.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jarik, post: 3187607, member: 43936"] The first thing to greet them was a young boy, wearing a chalk sign board emblazoned with the words “Heward's Handy Haversack: For all your needs magical 'n' mundane”. The young man wore an expression of consummate boredom and rolled his eyes as the group approached. “Welcome to Berrick, please stop by Heward's Handy Haversack, where the customer comes first..” the boy droned listlessly. “Gah! Roald, if I have told you once I have told you a thousand times. Enthusiasm! Enthusiasm!” A large gentlemen cried, hurrying across the dock in a garish fur trimmed ensemble, complete with a ludicrous ruff collar. “Gentlemen, my Lady, permit me to introduce your humble servant Joss Hooper, proprietor of Heward's Handy Haversack.” Reaching the group he placed a hand upon Roald's shoulder and took several deep breaths, “You will have to forgive young Roald here, he's a good lad, but not much of a people person. Isn't that right lad?” Roald shrugged, and as Joss's attention turned back to the group puffed out his cheeks making a near perfect impression of his portly employer's eager red cheeked visage. Moan s:):):):):):)ed, his eyes dancing from the boy, to Joss's bulging coin purse, to a pair of cufflings with the gold peeling away. “So what exactly are ye' sellin' Jossy? We've been at sea for long enough that me chief concerns are wine, women, and, well, more women. This ones a tease” he pointed a finger at Sorriel, “'n' I need a lady who's sellin' what she's advertising! Plus me pal Captain Clean here's gonna explode if he doesn't get religious. Bet there're loads of lucky ladies here hurtin'n for a convertin', hey big fella?” Rellen's brow furrowed, and Sorriel masked a fit of giggles with a cough. Joss blinked, starring at the small man's grotesquely suggestive leer in appalled silence for a second, before managing, “Well there is the Screamin' Pilchard, Irene runs a great place with reasonable rates, and I think she might have a girl or two willing to, erm, well, you know, ah ha, hmm?” Sorriel stepped in, giving Moan a kick in the shin as she brushed past him, taking the Shopkeeper by the shoulder, and pulling him with her as she strode towards the shoddy wooden buildings. “Allow me to introduce myself Master Hooper, I am Sorriel Larkstongue, singer of songs, teller of tales, wanderer and poet. That is Kleethorpes the Magnificent, a great an powerful Wizard. This is Rellen Horatio Marn, Paladin of Heronious, he of the shiniest armor. Oh, and this is Moan. My companions and I have been regrettably short of news on our journey, would you be willing to regail us with the local news? Perhaps as we look over your wares?” Joss beamed, watching Sorriel with dewy eyed adoration. “Well of course my dear! Delighted to fill you in on the local doings!” Kleethorpes nudged Rellen in the ribs, “Remarkable girl that one, if I were fifty years younger... Well to be perfectly honest I would be stammering like an idiot and drooling, but you take my meaning.” The old mage cackled, before scurrying after Sorriel. “Aye come on Ladykiller, you ain't gonna abandon us poor wee defenseless folks are you?” Moan asked, flashing a gap toothed grin at the Paladin. “Well no of course I could not allow Miss Larkstongue to go unaccompanied in such an unsavory locale.” “Ha, with any luck I'll be unaccompanied in an unsavory local before night fall.” “Pardon?” “He he, don't mind me, I'm a corrupti'n influence.” “Heronious accepts all who repent Master Moridin, even if your life thus far has fallen short of the ideal there is always time to start over.” “Oh I'll start over alright.” “Wonderful,” Rellen unslung his back pack and withdrew a wooden holy symbol depicting two crossed lightening bolts each held by a gloved hand, “here Master Moridin, Heronious embodies the highest virtues, valor, loyalty, honor...” “Ahhh, no thanks Pally, I've already got three.” Rellen's eyebrows quirked and he glanced down into his backpack. When he looked up Moan was already past Kleethorpes, his stumpy legs propelling him at a surprising speed. Gritting his teeth Rellen, slung his pack over his shoulder and followed. “A soul redeemed is worth a thousand trials.” He muttered – he did not sound particularly convinced. Heward's Handy Haversack occupied pride and place in the center of Berrick's meager shopping district, and turned out to be far better cared for than any of the other buildings the group had seen in the port. Joss ushered them inside, revealing row after row of common household items, pots and pans, rope, nets, and at the back of the store behind a solid oak counter weapon racks, and a glass case filled with jewelery and gemstones. A Dwarf watched them from over the counter, his attention clearly focused upon the scruffy Moan. “Welcome to Heward's folks, waylaid by Joss fresh off the boat were you?” “Away with you Hrolf, these fine folks want to hear the news and take a look at our reasonably priced, high quality wares.” Sorriel smiled at Hrolf, who appeared distinctly unimpressed and lifted the counter panel, moving off amongst the shelves. “Don't mind Hrolf that's just his way, not exactly a people person if you take my meaning. Still he's the best assistant I've ever had, poor fella got banished, but I am sure glad of him.” Joss stepped behind the counter and instantly looked more at home, “Ah, so let me see news was it? Hmmm. Well there's the fishmen, they have been causing a ruckus pilfering from ships and even raiding the goat herds, old Robar's getting some stick for that.” “Robar?” Asked Rellen, who was examining a grappling hook. “Robar's what passes for a Priest here in Berrick. Used to be a fine man, but well, glug, glug, glug, I'll say no more. Anyway, Robar gets donations for “Fharlanghn” by curing the Captains crews, blessing the winds, and so on; but with all this thieving going on the Captains are feeling less and less religiously inclined. Word is old Robar is looking for some poor fool to deal with things for him.” “What exactly are fishmen?” Sorriel inquired. “Oh you know, those Locothah. We don't usually get them this far north – fishy hey. Ha ha ha, sorry, sorry, just my little joke.” “Ooooh! How much for this?” Kleethorpes exclaimed pulling a bizarre mauve pointy hat with a floppy brim out of a bin of clothing and placing it reverently upon his bald head. “Ahhh, that would be a Ladies hat Sir.” “Nonsense, this hat has elan, flare, majesty! No, this is no Ladies hat, this is a Wizard's hat, namely Kleethorpes the Magnificent's hat! How much?” “Well five silver pieces, I suppose,” the Shopkeeper appeared a little nonplussed. “Never! That will not do, a Wizard must possess a hat which espouses the dignity of his position! Such a hat must cost at least five gold coins!” At this Joss's eyes lit up. “Well Master Kleethorpes we do happen to have some suitable hats, costing, as luck would have it five gold pieces, and more in some cases.” “Poppycock! I shall simply pay five gold pieces for this hat.” Moan winced, “got any marbles Jossy? Cause I think we're a few short over on this side of the counter.” “Pah, you've no sense of style Moan! Look it even has eldritch stars embroidered upon it!” “That is a daffodil you barmy old bird.” Kleethorpes frowned, “to those untrained in the arcane arts perhaps. Anyway I rather like daffodils.” Sorriel had taken this time to sidle over to Rellen, “So what are your plans now Rellen?” “Oh, well of course I will stay with you Miss Larkstongue. I cannot allow a defenseless maiden, such as yourself, to travel alone in a place like this. I am surprised your family allowed you to undertake such a dangerous journey.” “Oh, well, that's..... sweet. You...you....holier than thou god bothering pillock!” So saying she slapped the astonished Paladin, and stormed out. “What did I say?” Rellen asked, still starring after Sorriel with a clear red hand print visible upon his cheek. “Ah, its probably what you didn't say you great dullard,” replied a smug Moan, clutching a pile of goods, worth approximately four and a half gold pieces, that he had managed to get thrown in “free” with Kleethorpes five gold piece hat. “But I told her I would protect her...” Kleethorpes sighed, placing a paternal hand upon Rellen's shoulder, “Look kiddo, she doesn't need protecting. I on the other hand, could use the aide of a strapping lad such as yourself, as it happens I am intending to accompany Miss Larkstongue. Perhaps the three of you could protect me together?” Rellen frowned, “I think you are less in need of protection than it would appear,” the Paladin declared, smiling. Kleethorpes cackled, “he can be taught. Appearances can be deceiving laddo.” With that Kleethorpes hurried after Sorriel. Moan, and Rellen exchanged glances, “I'd be a mite more impressed if he wasn't wearing the hat of eldritch daffodils.” Moan said. [/QUOTE]
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