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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Truename" data-source="post: 9801954" data-attributes="member: 78255">I love this topic so much that I rewrote the adventure I'm running next week. I thought it might make a good example to discuss. I've attached it for y'all to critique.Quick backstory: I'm running The Grande Temple of Jing, an anthology megadungeon by Hammerdog Games. It's... pretty hit and miss, to be honest, but my group is enjoying its beer-and-pretzels silliness. The editing and layout leaves a lot to be desired, and these two threads inspired me to try rewriting level 2.3, "Twinklestar Caverns."I've attached the original, redacted in the name of fair use for this example (and it's only 4 pages out of an enormous 524 page PDF), and then the first four pages of my six-page rewrite. (I figure that's small enough to serve as a good example without being a chore to read or angering the copyright gods.) I've also attached my raw text in case someone wants to try their hand at making a better version.I mostly restricted my rewrite to formatting and organization. I had to fill in some gaps and correct some inconsistencies, and I couldn't resist adding some underwater tunnels, but I didn't make major changes to the adventure itself. Does my rewrite make the module easier to run? What would make it better?PS: There's a few things like "roll 1dFM" and "Jing statues" from the megadungeon that I didn't bother describing. I also didn't include the map. Hopefully it still works without them.</blockquote>

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