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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Kahuna Burger" data-source="post: 3967220" data-attributes="member: 8439">So, I'm married to Clashmore Dave, he of very rare posting here. After some discussion, neither of us changed our name upon marriage. When the Kahuna Meatball was born, we decided (again after some discussion and saying things out loud a lot) on a hyphenated last name in the order we liked. We tend to refer to our household collectively with the hyphenated name as well. So far this has caused no complications with pediatricians, work, billing, etc. However my inlaws are traditional as a group, and on my birthday I am lucky to get a single card that has my correct name on it. (most use his last name and some the hyphenated) Don't get me wrong, I feel lucky to have an extended inlaw family that sends me birthday cards (at this point it's fair to say that I have more of a relationship with my husband's aunts and uncles than I do with my own) and I have no wish to make any of them feel bad or unwelcome in any way. I'm even willing to accept that older members of the family will call me "Mrs Clashmore Dave" and that's just a generational thing. But it would be nice to give them all a reminder without it looking like a scold. We use the dual name as a return address (labels with all three of our names seem like they would be a bit crowded) and I don't have any real reason to send cards or letters just from myself to all my inlaws. I've missed my chance at birth announcements that would have given an excuse for a full formal listing of names, so I was wondering if anyone here had any suggestions.</blockquote>

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