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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Treebore" data-source="post: 3968384" data-attributes="member: 10177">To solve our in-law issues we moved over 1,000 miles away from most of them.You could write a "family letter" that you send to everyone. In it explain that there is obvious confusion among the family as to how the two of you decided to handle the "last name issue" and then tell them the how and why of it.As long as you don't mention feeling hurt/insulted/whatever, but state that you just want to clear up any confusion, etc... no one should feel negative about it.It could only be a problem because the family simply doesn't remember. My brother has been with his wife for almost 10 years now. I couldn't tell you what her family name is to save my life. Same goes for my fathers wife, and they have been married nearly 17 years.Part of it is that I don't interact with my family much. Maybe once every 3 years. Other than that we talk on the phone.If I actually lived near them, and interacted with them on a regular basis, I would likely know and remember these things.So your situation may simply be, "Crud!! I knew their "married name" 6 months ago, but since I haven't even thought about it these last 6 months, I can't remember it!"Rather than any real desire to be rude. So they just use the name they remember and hope your not offended, rather than spend 5 to 10 minutes rediscovering your "proper" name. If they can even do so without embarassing themselves by admitting to someone else they have forgotten.</blockquote>

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