Bloodrayne on DVD

[trancejeremy]

It's now out on DVD. I saw it releasing this week at Blockbuster Online when I was browsing the new releases Monday night, so I added it to my rental queue and got it right away (today), which is a good indication of how popular it was (not very).

Anyway, that said, it's actually not a terrible movie. It's not good by any means, but it's actually watcheable. It reminds me of a late 60s Hammer style horror movie crossed with an early 80s B fantasy movie (Sword & the Sword caliber).

It's got some really gorey fight scenes. Heads chopped off, swords through mouth (which would have been more effective if the protruding end was straight with the front of it), eyeballs, etc. Most of the acting is quite bad, but Michelle Rodriguez does a pretty good job. Michael Madsen makes about the least convincing fantasy swordsmen ever, but probably a good thing he didn't try to fake a Russian accent (he plays a character named Vladimir).

I would give it about 4 out of 10. Possibly worth a rental if you don't have anything else to watch and like B movies.

 

[Soel]

OY VEY! I went into this one expecting bad as it is Boll, but I got something I wasn't prepared at all for. It was awfully awful! A friend and I had soo much fun, though!

I thought the performances were wooden at best, and Madsen just sank to a new low. Rodriguez seemed to enjoy her parts, but I din't. The fight scenes had lousy choreography and were also best described as wooden.

The direction--well, its a Boll film (he's like the new Ed Wood, but that's really offering too much, as Wood had miniscule budgets to work with, and Boll gets way more cash that he has any right to for the making of his films.) If you watch, just remember the phrase "put 'em on a horse, put 'em on a cliff!" as you see the many sweeping shots of horse riders on what looks like the same cliff, over and over again. Boll did get gore-meister Andreas Schnaas (Violent Sh*t series, really bad s.o.v. zombie tripe, and I'm willing to watch anything with a zombie, mind you,) to do the gore fx, but that really just means Boll had more money to use on the crummy cgi.

There's also a uncalled-for flashback sequence which makes the uncalled-for flashback sequence in House of the Dead look good, and even more purposeful.

If you watch, just remember its made by Uwe Boll, and the laughs will probably take you.

 

[barsoomcore]

Better than Ultraviolet with Milla Jovovich. Worse than Resident Evil 2 with Milla Jovovich.

Points for Michelle Rodriguez, big goofy gore, and Kritianna Loken's breasts.

Penalties for, uh, everything else.

 

[Jamdin]

I watched Bloodrayne earlier this evening and it wasn't the best movie (Underworld is better) that I have ever seen nor was it the worst (Bloddy Mallory was worse). The movie entertained me and it wasn't as cheesy as the video sales clerk told me that it would be (she actually tried to stop me from renting it).

 

[Joshua Randall]

Points for [...] Kritianna Loken's breasts.

It's no coincidence that on the movie poster, her breasts appear at least twice as large as any other actor's headshot.

 

[Hand of Evil]

I don't feel so bad about giving it a 6/10 when I went and saw it.

 

[S. Baldrick]

I tried to drink it good....It didn't work. Gigli was worse but not by much. What was the point of including Billy Zane's character? Man, the more I think about, the more I realize that this movie sucked.

But I did enjoy Kritianna Loken's breasts though. I will give this cinematic abomination that much credit. Other than that, it kind of made me want to eat a Glock.

 

[Knightfall]

It's now out on DVD.

That didn't take long.