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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Celebrim" data-source="post: 4969577" data-attributes="member: 4937">Good.Yes.Hmm... ok, I think I see your problem.  I've bolded the problem text.You are trying to adopt the tone of a novel narrator.  This is wrong for several reasons.  RPG narration is not exactly like narrating any other form of literature, but it is much more like a screen play than it is a novel.  Write your text boxes in a 'cinematic style'.1) Never ever impinge on the character's free will. This is the big way that RPG narration always differ's from every other form of narration.  You as the narrator are not all powerful.  You can't control the PC's ever.  That means you can't ever tell the players what they feel (in an emotional sense) unless something supernatural is in play, nor can you ever tell players about their characters own internal intellectual and emotional lives.  Nor can you ever tell the player's what their character does unless they've explicity told you that they intend to do so.2) Always show, don't tell.  This is the screen writer's maxim.  Don't tell the players how to feel, respond, or think.  Don't offer observations or opinions on what happens (unless they ask for a hunch).  Narrate concrete events.  3) Long text is fine, but make sure your extensive description is a description of place and persons, not of time.  Sometimes you'll need to use a long peice of narration because there are alot of physical details to take in, or because alot of things are happening at once.  Avoid the temptation though to narrate are long period of time, unless the players have expressedly given you permission to handwave the time because you've mutually agreed that some amount of time will pass uneventfully.  Never narrate a long period of time in which things are happening, because then you've got on the railroad and the players are just along for the ride.  Every time something happens, you must stop and give the players oppurtunity to interact.  Your players shouldn't feel the need to interrupt your narration.4) Whenever possible, use dialog  Dialog is what breathes life into your NPC's and makes them memorable and interesting.  It also encourages your players to interact in an appropriate manner.  Avoid the temptation to tell the players a summation of what an NPC says.The above can be written to a more appropriate form for RPG narration:This is a stopping point.  The players may want to ask some questions about the boat, Captain Putterson, or Port Winters.  The players may want to refuse to get aboard entirely.  Or any number of things may happen.  And notice, dialog rather than summaries.You see?  Lots of boxed text, but no rail roading.  The more practice you get, the better you'll get at doing this sort of thing extemporaneously, but there is nothing wrong with providing yourself some proper prompting to get the scene started.</blockquote>

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