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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Caliber" data-source="post: 486797" data-attributes="member: 1310">The next morning we woke up, and promptly found that it was a planetary holiday.  No stores were open, and we had to eat ‘Breakfast Jump-Up’.  That’s when we jump up and make our own breakfast.  We decided to make a plan.  I actually had to ask the drow if they knew where they wanted to go.  They were frickin’ clueless!  So then I asked them if they could pick up anything on all that damn equipment they lugged down here.  They realized that was a good idea, and they found that there was a city with a bunch of weird crap in it to the south.  We found it on the map and it was called the City of the Gods!  So we started getting ready.Jhelai went to go find a temple, which made me a little more suspicious: why would any self-respecting gunslinger want to go to a Temple?  But, he found it was closed.  While Jhelai was out, he found a rental place that was open, and he bargained to rent us two vans.  When he came back to tell us, Wang and myself joined him to go pick up the vans while everybody got ready.  When we got back with the vehicles, everybody loaded in.  All the magic users in the other bus, and all the real studs in ours.  Now, I know you hate the drow, but one of them looks like a fellow brother-in-arms: armed to the teeth!  I was almost jealous!So, we set off.  Dude, now I said these were vans, but man they rock!  A good 115 miles per hour out of those suckas.  We ran across something about 20 minutes outside of town.  And when I say this thing was BIG, I mean BIG!  It looked like a giant floating jellyfish that was three(3) Miles wide!![Zoltan holds up Four fingers.  Zoltan’s eyes get very big.  We realized in session 17 that Zoltan can’t count.]It was fargin’ huge!  With these big tentacles hanging about 100 feet off of the ground.  Not knowing what to do, we went around.  About 12 minutes later we came across another big floating thing.  This one was not as big but it was singing.  We sent the fairy out to talk to it.  She said ‘Hi’.  It sang to her.  Then she asked it where it was from.  It sang again.  This time it didn’t stop.  It kept on going and going and going and going…  I bet it is still singing now.  We didn’t get much out of it, so we kept on going.  Not 5 minutes later, we came upon this big giant ‘MegaMaid’!  Just kidding, but it might have been her vacuum cleaner.  This looked like a big space vacuum, and it was sucking up a fifty-foot wide swath of land and trees.  Not knowing what to do, we sent the fairy out again.  She said ‘Hi’, again.  It wasn’t to keen on responding.  She asked more questions, and it just sucked more.  We went around it and in 5 minutes we came across the town of Boggy Bottom.  Or at least what was left of it.  The buildings that were left had massive scorch marks that look like they came from lightning bolts of some sort.  The rest of the buildings were gone.  Some people were running around all crazy like.  We stopped one and he said that first this big 3 mile wide jellyfish shocked the crap out of the town, and then a big vacuum cleaner sucked up the rest of it.  I figure he was a little loony.  We got on the Drow radio and found some guy who said he was from the Temple of the Frog.  Yeah, I know, it seems a little silly to worship a frog, but keep quiet about that.  I bet these people don’t like wisecracks about the frog and the hamster, if you know what I mean.[Orendil looks clueless.]Never mind.  This guy thought that we were nuts, and he said they were going to send out a team to investigate.  We said, screw that, and we moved on.  You couldn’t miss the big trail that the vacuum cleaner left.  So, figuring that the trail would lead us to the city, we just followed it.  We soon came across a fifty food wide, paper thin, layer of goop on the trail.  It was moving North.  I didn’t like this.  I was starting to get a real funny feeling, because I don’t like goop.  I, driving the blue van, stayed a little ways back.  Jhelai, driving the green van, got a little closer.  Again, we sent the fairy.  She threw some rations at it, and it just moved around it.  Then somebody got the bright idea to throw some metal at it.  So the fairy throws a gold piece at it.  It then decides to start collecting itself.  It quickly starts to shrink in width and get thicker.  Soon, two tentacles looked like they were forming on the top.  I yell at the fairy and Wang to get back in the buses, and I start moving!  Wang had to jump in while the van was moving, and I was gone.  Then, as we were passing the goop, the two tentacles shot out a good 50 feet at our vans!  Luckily we were far enough out of the way and flooring it, or else it might have gotten more interesting!  Nothin’ but gasps from the back seats.At this point, I am getting a little pissed.  A big planet full of wimps.  No way to buy new equipment.  And big freekin’ weird creatures!  This sucks!We kept moving and we got up to the mountain pass.  We are still quite a ways away, when we see a green snake like creature with 8 pink tentacles coming off the sides of its head.  Now, this didn’t really bother me, too much, except that it was 40 feet long.  Then I hear from the back seat and over the intercom that these guys want to take it.  I was in total shock.  Somebody gets the bright idea to go up the road and wait for it to come by and ambush it.  I was in shock, again.  I actually did what they said.  Nobody even listened to my plan, which was to stop, wait for it to pass, and move on behind it.Well, we went up the road a bit, and hid the two vans about 10 feet off of the road behind a tree.  The green van was parallel to the road and we were parked right next to the green van.  We weren’t really hidden too well.  Neither were we prepared to ambush it: We were still in the vans.  A lot of people, including you, got the jump on me and got to attack first.  Syd tried to cast something but he turned invisible instead.  The only odd thing was that his clothes and gear didn’t.  [Zoltan snorts a laugh.]Luckily, the snake got beaten up really quickly.  Then something happened.  Apparently, right before I blasted the crap out of it, it did a mind-transference on Jhelai.  Then G’Banrak noticed it and yelled out that Jhelai didn’t look right: It was the creature!  I didn’t hear that, though (Or Did I?), and blew Jhelai-in-Big-Snake-Body away.Jhelai looked fierce, too.  He had the Eye of the Tiger, and he was about to open up some real WhupAss on the green van inhabitants.  Glad I wasn’t in there.  As soon as G’Banrak yelled out, Nick was jumping out of the van door; He really likes jumping out of vehicles, I have determined.  Moving or stationary, too.  Kinda Cute.  Then he tries to cast a web on Jhelai and gets his first taste of Wild Magic.[Orendil tears up.  Zoltan pats him on the back.]It’s OK, Big ‘O’.  Everybody realizes once in his or her life that magic is truly unnatural and nasty.  Well, the web turns into some kind of stasis field, so Jhelai is frozen.  He can’t move; he can’t do anything.  So you know what they do?  They keep casting!  The Elf Female casts something and falls in love with Jhelai.  Milo tries some kind of magic rod, and it starts growing 8 snakes out of it!  Heh, Heh.  I liked that one!  Nick runs around the bus, goes up to the driver’s window and tries to grab Jhelai’s twin pistols.  His hands get stuck in the Stasis field too.  You try to go pull him out, and you almost pull his hands off.  Nick also somehow ruined his amulet of spiked armor by casting something else.  Now, I know these stasis fields don’t last too long, so I get in front of the bus and ready a shot for when he gets free.  Somebody gets the bright idea of firing a blaster at him.  It gets frozen too, just inches from his face.  So, then everybody, but me, decided to frag the poor bastard, so that when he gets free, he will be turned into slag.Sure enough, the next 30 seconds were filled with people pumping the stasis field full of blaster shots, and Nick almost soiling his armor; He didn’t want to get hit by a stray blaster.  Stasis field disappears, you pull nick to the ground, and J gets turned into soggy bits.  Nick and others loot the body, and the female elf, over there, starts crying.  Now, I thought that blaster shots always cauterized the wounds that they inflict.  But man, four or five blaster shots hitting someone’s head at the same time, and that sucker EXPLODES!  Whoa, what a sight!The next little while was a blur.  Most cleared the soggy bits out of the front seat, while Milo decided to go cut off the snakes head.  It was a big head.  I mean bigger than Milo.  Actually, it’s hanging out in the garden over yonder, we can go see it later, to see if it jogs your memory.  You and Milo cut off the snakes head, and then we noticed that the snake was still moving!  It was as if something was inside of it!  Wait a minute, It’s a baby!  Kill It! Kill It! Kill It![Zoltan starts jumping up and down.  Zoltan makes a scene.  Orendil yells at Zoltan to calm down.]Oh. Sorry.  I think Milo actually thought it was a baby human, but I think he was a little delirious.  Then I killed it.  So we cut its head off too.  Now we have a giant snake head, a baby snake head and soggy Jhelai bits.</blockquote>

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