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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Pierce" data-source="post: 1276502" data-attributes="member: 12161">It seems like most of the quotes that make us fall out of our chairs come from the player who plays Joe Empire in our modern campaign (SH link in sig).  For some of his better ones, check out the SH.  In the meantime, here's a couple from our fantasy campaign:Vaspar just got hit by something really big.  The DM is cringing and picking up a LOT of dice:DM: How many hit points to you have?V: All of them!P1: We can try a guerilla warfare type of thing...V: Cool!  Who can summon gorillas?!?Vaspar is describing our exploits to an NPCV: We killed three of those things-P1: You mean two.V: Three!! You weren't there!V: You realize we have to kill them.... They're getting laid and I'm not.To the combat-heavy PCs:V: You go kill 'em, I'll cover the treeAnd finally, one from Ferrison (same player as Willie in the SH).  Ferrison was well known for having weird quirks, esoteric magic items and a penchant for spy networks.  In this instance our party was ambushed while encamped.  His tent is on fire and the DM is rolling to see if it survives the inferno:DM: Is there anything special about the tent?F: Yeah!  It's mine!!</blockquote>