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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Carnifex" data-source="post: 725201" data-attributes="member: 227">And here's an excellent bit of conversation between Sebastion and Ebri, the two party members who came fairly close to death in the battle with Cancer and his minions...Sebastion walked alertly alongside the 'donkey' one eye on it, one on the 'human' pack-bearer, and trying to keep an adequate watch as they moved through the underground.Good news travelled fast, but bad news didn't need to travel at all, and word of Cancer's sudden absence would spread like wildfire. Someone would have seen, or heard, or smelt what he had in his possession, and looters and potential followers would be on their way soon, if not already.Having paused only long enough to be sure the fires were out, Sebastion had been eager to leave before that whole world of trouble descended upon them. When they were contemplating a detour to Cancer's house he had forced himself to grit his teeth, knowing that another complaint would simply be ignored, but he didn't pretend to be anything other than grateful when Trin admitted no knowledge of the place, and they reverted to their intent of making their way to the surface, and the authorities.Finally, after a while, he began slowly dropping back through the ranks, checking briefly to see that everyone was alright before eyeing the path behind them to be sure they weren't being followed. Then he'd make his way slowly back to the front again, and start the cycle all over.* * *Fortunately, the children remained hushed, still and quiet, still traumatized from their ordeal. It took little of the energy Ebri was carefully hoarding to keep them going through the dark. With the addition of Sebastion's efforts, the task was not challenging, which was well, for her thoughts had a disturbing unclarity to them.An injury to the body will necessarily be a distraction... you are gravely injured... she reassured herself.Sebastion slowed slightly, once again, peering warily at the shadowy figures of man and donkey as they trotted past, burdened beyond normal capacity. Finally, towards the tail of the line, Ebri appeared with the small gathering of children. He didn't bother trying to speak with them this time - every time they saw him with his blade at the ready they shrank back away from him."It is merely a weapon-" she could not help but teach, even in this moment. "It has liberated you; its intent is in the mind of the man, not the gleam of the blade. Our minds are our true weapons.""How are they holding up?" he asked, quietly."They are still alive..." she murmured. "The future will tell."He smiled, faintly, at her attempt to quell their fears. He hadn't tried - the longer they were afraid of men with swords, the better their chances of a long life."The future will tell for us all... what about you?" he asked, falling in line at the back, turning to face behind them as he listened for the sounds of potential pursuit."I am also alive. Though I admit... to find myself so is something of a surprise... As for the immediate future, I think I will remain in your company somewhat longer..." She struggled for a semblance of plausible explanation. The Immarian tenets were simple on appearance, but surprisingly complex in their depths. Some shred of mythology... some scrap...He shuddered at the intimation, recalling his own narrow escape from Death's realm."It changes things, doesn't it? Standing in the river like that..."Her head ached, and she settled for the trappings of clerical mystery. "I believe my god wishes me to wander further, and your road is... interesting... Is that how it was for you? A river?" It was clear the soldier's soul, not unsurprisingly, could not give up its attachment to the physical realities of life."A river? No, it wasn't, but... well... that's the legend, isn't it? The boatman - the ferry across the River of Death - burial with a coin to pay the boatman...""Ah, yes. Well, that is a common tale." she acknowledged. "Though my faith perceives it as a road with no end, upon which one may not turn back; in fact, it disappears behind you as you walk forward. A forest people I encountered once held that death was climbing a great tree, similarly, and reaching the sky.""I'd.. we... Death had always been something I imagined would happen to other people." he finally managed, with a wry grin. "That's why it's changed everything."She peered up at Seb, stopping to breathe deeply. The flickering torches threw back shadows, shifting and twisting his face. She was reminded, now, of the masks of the ancestors in their house. "How has it changed everything?""It...well.... I don't know. It just feels different." he conceded, after a moment. "It's like... I don't know what it's like. I've never thought about dying before, really....""Will you act differently now, that you have glimpsed death? I do not see how one should. If my path was correct before, I will continue upon it. And yet you are a soldier..." she mused, keeping back the rest of her thought. You have brought death many times over, and trained for it. This is your profession..."I don't know. It depends on the situation, and I only know how I'd react now. I don't know how I'd react now, if it hadn't happened... if that makes sense... I've trained for other people's death... the training was all about keeping me alive. I've never really thought about me dying.""Perhaps the meaning is-- if there is one, and the experience is any more than random chance--not to think about dying, but about living--"Sebastion appeared to consider this for a long moment, his brow furrowing as he did. "I'm afraid I have the feeling that there isn't any real meaning to it at all. I never did before, but it seems important now..."She stopped again, adjusting her now ragged and bloody wrap. Her lungs felt weighted with lead. "You will forgive me, I hope. Philosophical introspection is a great comfort. I do not suppose you have any willow bark to hand, do you?""Willow bark? Why's that?" he asked, trying to imagine what profound lesson might be learnt from a piece of tree-bark."It is important, yes. What meaning anything has, soldier, is what we assign to it. If you say it means nothing, than mean nothing it does. As for the willow bark, I should like some pain relief. I could go without it, but I will slow us unnecessarily. Though it is no matter.""Oh, wait... I've got a potion in here, somewhere..." he passed his sword across to her, swinging his pack round in front of him to delve for the durable earthenware bottle."No, do not waste it. I will be able to help myself when I have rested.""But, what meaning is there to find? Really? You're born, you try not to do anything too stupid, and then you die... what exactly is it that we expect to achieve in the meantime. If we're being followed you may not have a chance to rest: take the opportunity while it's there."A tired smile formed on her lips. "If we are followed, I will take it then--" She tied the bottle into a fold of her garment. "Thank you. Who is it, do you suppose, expects you to achieve anything?""Well, I don't know that I'd say anyone expects us to... but... if we're here for something... what is it? And if not, what's the point?""It is as I was saying before-- not that you should believe me, out of hand. The point, as you call it, may not be a fact of cosmic mystery, already predetermined, to be found and sought. Rather than seeking after it, as if it were a thing, an artifact of power, consider that it may be what you create yourself. The point is, like the image of death, whatever meaning you construct for yourself." Ebri sighed. "Too many attempt to relieve themselves of responsibility by waiting for their purpose to be revealed to them.""Right..." Sebastion managed, not quite following a great deal of what was said. "So, the only point is what I want the point to be... so really there is no point, there's just... desire? If that's the case, no-one does anything wrong? There is no 'evil' to Cancer's slavery, he's just doing what he wants? Isn't he?"Ebri stopped short, not heeding the gaggle of children who butted up against her, tripping and stumbling. The tunnel seemed illuminated with light, a flash on the edge of her vision. The Purpose-- For a moment, she felt elevated above this, floating. Amazing, how even in blathering useless superstitious deception, a kernel of the truth may be found. It was there, she was sure of it-- "He is.." she forced her mouth to go on, trying to reconstruct what she had been saying..."He is... evil, by your definition of it. Is that not sufficient to make him evil? He is doing as he wants, or has done... and you set your will in opposition to his..."Her words, she was sure, were half garbled, but perhaps they would be enough for the soldier. Or at least give him meat for thought--"But who am I? I'm just a man with a sword and a big mouth - I don't have any better idea of what's right or wrong than he does... and yet I killed him for it. Threw an axe at him, just as easy as breathing.""And are you disturbed to have killed him, then? Should you not have?""No, not really. What he did was... wrong? It was wrong, I don't know why, I can't say what it was that was wrong about it, but it was... it was wrong. He had to be stopped, and we stopped him." He sounded almost as though he were trying to convince himself."So we did.""So who is to say that he was evil, and we were good? Are we all evil?"Ebri put her hand on his arm, stepping over a pile of fallen tile. "Sebastion, if I told you that Cancer was good, and you were evil, would you believe it? Could anyone cause you to believe that?""I don't think so... you'd need to talk faster than a Banar Fish-seller to do it. But that doesn't mean I could explain to you why.""Does the lack of an explanation make something less true? You were born a man, a Carthagian. Do you understand why?""I'm Huronese." he corrected, with a smile. "Assumptions, without basis. They might seem right, they might be right... but how do you know?""You put more value on a course of explanation that has been logically reasoned, that has what you believe are facts to support it. You treat evidence, empirical knowledge as more true than that which is simply felt or intuited. But what I am telling you, Sebastion, is that one is not more valid than the other. Simply put, the world we see and feel, it is illusion. It is not real-- and yet it is the only reality most of us can perceive. And so, to most of us, that understanding is useless-- except for this: what we believe we know is also illusory, also a construct of the mind.""This is all illusion - a make-believe underground, but there will never be anything else for us? Then surely this is all that matters? Isn't it? Or... wait, you're confusing me." As though he hadn't been quite confused enough on his own."And what you intuit, whether you can explain it in words or no, Sebastion-- that is equally as true as that which you think is fact.""If this isn't real... what is?""That--" Ebri smiled, "--is the great question..."Sebastion paused for a moment, staring at her. He shook his head slightly, his brow still deeply furrowed as he tried to work through what she had been saying. "Why do I feel as though I have just lost an argument," he asked, "that you somehow didn't win?""There is no winning or losing. Only walking further down the path. And in this case, the others are getting ahead of us--" Ebri grinned, hitching up her trousers."Hellfire." he muttered, stepping quickly to keep up. "I'm going to check up front before my head starts to hurt." he said, catching her up - she moved deceptively quickly, and he had to jog to do it. His brow was still thoughtfully furrowed, though, and he gnawed gently on his lip as he walked.</blockquote>

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