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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Roger" data-source="post: 3073633" data-attributes="member: 17420">Well, it's not like I'm a judge or anything, but I can expand a bit on what I was talking about.[sblock]What I mean, I suppose, is that it didn't really feel like any of the pictures felt like natural illustrations for the story.  They're in there, sure; no doubt about it.  But the scenes in which they occur are not really climatic or pressingly vital to your story, if you see what I mean.Having your hero meet his sister by a playground slide is fine, but it's not really integral to the story -- it could have been pretty much anywhere.If I were talking to a friend about your story, I wouldn't say "It's about this guy who is attacked by this weird thing bouncing on a blanket, then he talks to a guy on a pipe, and then he goes to a playground slide!"Actually, the homunculus is a pretty good use of the illustration, so I won't complain too much about that.Another way of thinking about it:  If I were an editor, and I wanted to use an illustration on the front cover of my magazine to entice readers into reading your story, would I have used any of those three?  Maybe not.I'm reminded of numerous Iron Chef judge comments where they say something like "This dish is really fabulously good, but swan tongue (or whatever the special ingredient is) is not really the star of the show."  That's sorta where I am.  I liked your story, and the use of the ingredients didn't detract from your story, but I didn't come away from it feeling like your story was about any of those images in an integral way.So, in my humble opinion as just another plebe who reads stories sometimes, achieving that level of integration would kick it up to the next level for you.  Anyway, hope that helps, or at least clarifies what I'm talking about.[/sblock]Cheers,Roger</blockquote>

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