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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Rodrigo Istalindir" data-source="post: 3089353" data-attributes="member: 2810">Judgment for Round 1, Match 5, tadk vs RogerBerandorSo I've been asked to do a formal decision for *tadk* vs *Roger*. I'vealready given a few comments, now let's compare both stories.I think in picture use, both entries are similar. Roger's movie set iseasily beaten by tadk's carnage place, whereas tadk's wheelchair saw meconfused and is overrolled by Roger's astral adventure. The third picwas equally well-used, so I must say the off-color death described bytadk was a smidgen more to my tastes.But ultimately, it's the story which must decide. First off, tadkswitches between present and past tense. Roger's writing is cleaner.I'm impressed by the work tadk invested here, including lyrics into thestory, making it once more a somewhat poetically-inclined entry.In the end, "Forever lasts too long for those in love" is more like asong itself, in that it describes a love story (and a tragic one, atthat), but doesn't hold much conflict in it. There are stanzas, betweenwhich time advances, and which themselves then show the new status quo.It's once more very atmospheric, but other than the atmosphere oftragic love there's not so much happening here. Vik's death stands outbecause it doesn't really seem to fit this real-world affair, but thenagain I liked it probably just because of that."Be not afraid", on the other hand, feels more complete, in that westart with a situation that is wrong, and a protagonist who strives andsucceeds to return to the rightful status quo, leaving some of hisbitterness behind in the process. There's a progression here, an orderof events that lead to a final confrontation. However, conflict isn'ttoo strong here, either. Jack meets Kokabiel, and goes instantly withhim. He is pulled by Alex into the Astral, but there he quickly plungesthe knife into his former friend come foe. And as I said, Kokabiel'sremorse wasn't too well explained, and I sort of was expecting Jack todoom himself to a life of hate, maybe in prison, due to the demon'smachinations. And some dialogue is klunky, most of all the "babe" atthe end.As always, I find it hard to evaluate tadk's entry because of thepoetic qualities he often brings to his work. I really think a PoetryDM would play to his strengths. In this competition, though, I'll givemy vote to the more complete *story*. and thus to Roger.maxfieldjadenfoxTadK Vs Roger Be Not AfraidRoger I like the planar travel, and the main character is intriguing. Picture use:The wheelchair picture is the set up for the story and works well. I also like the mudman as damaged goods on the astral plane. The "establishing shot" with the ambulance isn't necessary, but it's servicable. The astral plane is a great way to allow us to see what the characters "really" look like. Interesting twist to have Jack be damaged more in his mind than he is in reality, and the bad guy stealing his courage on the astral plane is pretty cool too.  All in all most enjoyable.. Forever Lasts Too Long For Those In LoveTadK Tad, your style always intrigues me. It reminds me a lot of Ishmael Reed. It creates a mood more than tells a story, although there is a story here. Picture use:The pictures occur in a clump at the back of the story. They aren't really integral and I think the story would have been better if you hadn't had to use them. The wheelchair pic is used effectively, and imaginatively. The mudman and the ambulance seem to come out of nowhere, and don't seem terribly important to the story. The dreamy mood of this piece is best carried by the song's poetry. I like the conversational bits between Cat and Vic too, but as I told RPJunkie, I HATE it when a story randomly changes tenses. Are they or were they? I really want to be clear about time unless there's a compelling reason for it to shift. The rhythm and the characters are strong, but the story isn't quite strong enough to hold them.  I love the feel of TadK's piece, but strictly speaking, I feel that Roger's is the stronger CDM entry. Decision Roger.Roger advances, 2-0.</blockquote>

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