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Message: <blockquote data-quote="maxfieldjadenfox" data-source="post: 3109051" data-attributes="member: 18003">Ni TessineDestructionPart Two in the Alambur Saga. Picture Use:The flying squirrel thing wasn't necessary to the plot and left rather quickly, never to be seen again. If it had accompanied Alambur on his quest or had been essential to him in some way I would have been happier. The blue cross with the face was well used for the scrying part. I liked the use of the glass, and the description of the scene. It was a stretch for me to see the archaeologists (or whatever they were) as guards, but hey, I'll go with it. The parchment worked for me.Now. The writing is nicely crafted. Good, and not overboard with some lovely descriptive bits. I read somewhere that a good story requires knowing what your main character wants and not giving it to him. This story does the opposite. From the beginning, all Alambur has to do is ask, and it is given. There is no dramatic tension. Having written my share of D&D logs, that's what this feels like. I think the style is great, nice word usage, but I want that dramatic tension! Next round, don't give him what he wants too soon, OK? <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>