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Ceramic DM - Spring 2005 (Late Bloomer) - We have a winner.
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<blockquote data-quote="Eeralai" data-source="post: 2341179" data-attributes="member: 15008"><p><strong>Jibber Jabber</strong></p><p></p><p>Hooray! Stories are up. I read Hellefire's this morning and I see his two opponents are done as well. I know I won't be able to read and comment on every story because we are still moving and I am trying not to make it an ultra sucky summer for our kids, but I know BSF is looking forward to people's comments, so I thought I would start it. Of course, he can't read this until his judgement is posted, mwu ha ha! In case I don't get the spoiler right, the rest of this post is about Hellefire's story, so judges, please read no further.</p><p></p><p>[sblock] Hellefire, to say I enjoyed your story is not quite right because it ends so sadly, but I have not figured out a good adjective to describe how I felt reading it. I was pulled along throughout. I thought you did a good job with the female perspective. I had a problem with the friend leaving Jem so early. I know it was a love at first sight moment, but just leaving a best friend alone in the forest with a strange man no matter how they were looking at each other seemed like a really bad idea. The scenes with the fairies were paralleled so well with the human scenes, except in the fairy scenes the friends stayed until the couple began their journey. Why did you not let Jem's friend stay longer? I also found it odd that Jem was so afraid of bears, but she was ready to go on a shroom trip with a total stranger. I thought with you writing about her being afraid of bears, you were going to do something about her letting go of her fears, but instead it just seemed like a random feeling she had in the story. I really enjoyed the sunset scene, and I thought your wording when they were in the car with the rain coming down was lovely. It is possibly my own problem, but I was a little confused by where the water elementals were located. When Jem and Jim were swimming, I thought the water elementals were in the lake, so it took me awhile to figure out they were in a cloud. You might look at that, but as I said, it might be my own reading comprehension problem. Good story over all. I've thought about it on and off all day, which, to me, is a sign of a good story. Thanks for sharing it. [/sblock]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Eeralai, post: 2341179, member: 15008"] [b]Jibber Jabber[/b] Hooray! Stories are up. I read Hellefire's this morning and I see his two opponents are done as well. I know I won't be able to read and comment on every story because we are still moving and I am trying not to make it an ultra sucky summer for our kids, but I know BSF is looking forward to people's comments, so I thought I would start it. Of course, he can't read this until his judgement is posted, mwu ha ha! In case I don't get the spoiler right, the rest of this post is about Hellefire's story, so judges, please read no further. [sblock] Hellefire, to say I enjoyed your story is not quite right because it ends so sadly, but I have not figured out a good adjective to describe how I felt reading it. I was pulled along throughout. I thought you did a good job with the female perspective. I had a problem with the friend leaving Jem so early. I know it was a love at first sight moment, but just leaving a best friend alone in the forest with a strange man no matter how they were looking at each other seemed like a really bad idea. The scenes with the fairies were paralleled so well with the human scenes, except in the fairy scenes the friends stayed until the couple began their journey. Why did you not let Jem's friend stay longer? I also found it odd that Jem was so afraid of bears, but she was ready to go on a shroom trip with a total stranger. I thought with you writing about her being afraid of bears, you were going to do something about her letting go of her fears, but instead it just seemed like a random feeling she had in the story. I really enjoyed the sunset scene, and I thought your wording when they were in the car with the rain coming down was lovely. It is possibly my own problem, but I was a little confused by where the water elementals were located. When Jem and Jim were swimming, I thought the water elementals were in the lake, so it took me awhile to figure out they were in a cloud. You might look at that, but as I said, it might be my own reading comprehension problem. Good story over all. I've thought about it on and off all day, which, to me, is a sign of a good story. Thanks for sharing it. [/sblock] [/QUOTE]
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