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Message: <blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 2039235" data-attributes="member: 4790">Alsih2o: Hellefire- Good story. The mood fluctuates a bit for my taste, but I think you have some pretty strong picture use. The mannequins shot is excellent, the horse is strong. The Thor is good, but mostly from writing, not from actual picture use. But that bridge pic is right up there with the mannequins. Good stuff. The story IS rather bitter, but I like that. I would have liked a little more Mary though, something to attach me to her before she dies.  Our narrator is interesting, and that means a lot. The writing is solid, but interrupted by a few small errs that bothered me. All around, a really string story. Orchid Blossom-  This partial-exposure story style is hard to pull off well. There is at least one moment I had to read a couple of times trying to make sense, but for the most part you pulled it off. The horse pic is a fantastic interpretation, the mannequins are alright. The guy with the wings is impeccable. The bridge is…Ok. I like the bridge handling, I would just like more. OB writes with confidence and grace, I expect each time I see her writing (judging or competing) that she is one of those “ones to beat.” Good story, strong material, greta theme, good dialogue. [sblock] I really like OB’s story, but I think I have to give this one to Hellefire. [/sblock] Piratecat:Orchid Blossom vs HellefireOrchid Blossom:It’s nice to see the main character being Pestilence; Death is overdone.Orchid Blossom is a talented writer and it shows in both the story hook andthe language usage. She paints an eloquent picture of Harold as a retiredHorseman, and its one that stays with you.Things I didn’t like? The freelancer angle seemed weak, although I enjoyedthe actual discussion with him. I also would have liked to see more of thegroup in action. . . they just didn’t seem very powerful or experienced atwhat they did. That’s a refreshing change from normal, but it wasn’tentirely consistent with who they were or what they did.I love it when pictures are used in multiple ways. Setting up the horsemanas one of the Four Horsemen works quite well, and using both the old manwith wings and the cross on the wall strengthens the story’s connection tothe illustration. On the other hand, having the giant face turn into anormal sized man struck me as something of a copout.Hellefire:Okay, it’s implausible. . . but it’s funny.Good imagination, here. I liked the consistent unusual spellings, therevelations about the Norse Gods, the bad pun for the organization. This isa good example of a story that would be better if it had fewer words. Ithink you could knock 10-20% of the verbiage out and end up with somethingjust as clever and even more effective.I think the story is undermined by the fact that it changes from a comedy toa drama as it goes along. Things stop being funny and start becoming deadlyserious. That’s not inherently bad, but as the story’s pace slows down theseriousness clashes with the initial style and weakens the story as a whole.I would have preferred to see this stay humorous throughout.Overall, two strong entries that were both fun to read. My judgment goes to.. .[sblock]. . . Orchid Blossom. Her story was less complex, but it wasconsistent in tone throughout and maintained momentum. That made thedifference in this case. [/sblock]Maldur:orchid blossom vs. HellefireHorseman, gods, horseman, gods, I have a sneaking suspicion you two read tomuch Gaiman <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" />But my vote goes to orchid, her use of the pictures was more....smooth,intergrated. Decision- [sblock] Orchid Blossom takes this in a split decision, 2-1.[/sblock]</blockquote>

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