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Message: <blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 2044823" data-attributes="member: 4790">Bazz- Thorod Ashstaff Vs. Rodrigo IstalindirThorod Ashstaff gets my vote for destroying Hogwarts <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> Piratecat- Thorod Ashstaff Vs. Rodrigo IstalindirI apologize for this being a little shorter than normal. I thought I’drather err on the side of brevity instead of making you wait any longer.It's been that kind of week.Thorod Ashstaff:I’ll start by pointing out the one logical flaw that could have been easilyresolved: right after Angela claims that she can’t pass into anotheruniverse because she’ll be arrested if she shows up at CERN, she goes toCERN and runs the process. That’s the kind of logic hole that drives fans ofsci-fi movies nuts.You may want to try integrating verbal tics into your characters’conversations to help liven up the speech. It came across as somewhat flatand a little bit stilted, with no unique rhythm for the differentcharacters.  This was especially noticeable in the middle section when Vickiarrives and the story goes into a lull from which it never quite recovers.Other than that, the story was excellent. Imaginative use of photos, a verycreative concept, and a good ending twist. Vicki needs a little moreintegration into the earlier part of the story, as does the concept ofAlt-Monte. Nevertheless, it’s an interesting idea that ends up beingexecuted with flair.Rodrigo Istalindir:Another good story. I liked the conversation, the concept, and the imagery.Glen is a believable character, and his ennui with the job is a nicecounterpoint to the action that happens later in the piece.The ending seemed slightly unbelievable; it’s hard to believe that Becky andGlen can get away with what happened, especially in a world with videocameras in museums that would certainly be checked. The surprise ending is anice touch, though.Judgment:[sblock]Although Thorod’s story was extremely good for anyone, never mind afirst-time competitor, my judgment goes to Rodrigo. His basic concept ofghoulism isn’t quite as inspired as Thorod’s alternate-world time travel,but the pace of the story and the way in which it’s told slightly pushes itpast the finish line.[/sblock] Alsih2o- Thorod Ashstaff: Wow! All that conversation, several characters, lots of tech speak and you pulled it off without making me wince once. [DarthVaderVoice] Impressive, most impressive[/DVV] I like the idea of the story, I relate to the main character, I was bullied into believing the techno-babble. Now many weaknesses here. The picture scenes each just come up once, but you have still managed to make each one seem very important. I am very impressed. Rodrigo Istalandir: Wow! Another great one. This is a really string story with a bit too quick and ending maybe. The company seems believeable, the characters are relatable and the conversations go off amazingly smoothly.  Judgement- [sblock] Did anyone else notice the “Savini” to Savinio” connection? I found it odd. These are 2 powerful and interesting stories, both deserve to advance. The problem is only one can and I have to give my vote ot the newcomer Thorod, for slightly stronger pic use.[/sblock] Decision: [sblock] Thorod Ashstaff pulls off a surprise and takes down Rodrigo ‘The Veteran’ Istalindir in a split decision![/sblock]</blockquote>

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