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Ceramic DM- The Renewal ( Final judgement posted)
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<blockquote data-quote="alsih2o" data-source="post: 2134834" data-attributes="member: 4790"><p>My apologies, this is what I have for now. I am sure we will have more soon. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p> Mythago Vs. Orchid Blossom- Final</p><p></p><p> Alsih2o:</p><p></p><p>Mythago-</p><p></p><p> This story is a bit disgusting and disturbing. And that ain’t easy to do. J</p><p></p><p> The wheelchair bound man makes for great pic usage in another dimension, the pic frames as tanks is a nice touch as well. Th group shot is used rather well, too. I am not the fondest of the bloody mouthed man, but it does work.</p><p></p><p> The plot screams at you, obsession is always a great subject. Obsession mixed with madness is great IF the author can pull it off. I think Mythago did. </p><p></p><p> I couldn’t decide if the l;ast line was too terse or just snappy enough, but I am gonna have to go with just snappy enough. J</p><p></p><p></p><p> Orchid Blossom-</p><p></p><p> Was that accordionist supposed to be nude? I LOVE references to other rounds. (When I catch them)</p><p></p><p> The muse pic on stage works well, lots of little bites in the commentary. The only pic that isn’t handled really well here is the tree pic. It feels a little tacked on, but the language surrounding it really disguises it. </p><p></p><p> Those green eyes staring at him after the axe blow really was a stellar moment. One of the big disadvantages that a writer in these competitions gets is a bunch of fantasy geeks as an audience. This can hurt if you tread too lightly and hurt of you press too hard. This was just enough.</p><p> </p><p> The threads resonate as a “playable” or “Real” world, strong stuff.</p><p></p><p> Judgement- [sblock] Orchid Blossom just keeps getting better. Watching her improve as a writer has been a ball. However, Mythago is the elephant in the room. </p><p></p><p> OB could have taken her story through almost any round, but not against this particular Mythago tale. My vote goes to Mythago[/sblock]</p><p></p><p> Maldur:</p><p></p><p> Mythago vs Orchid Blossem</p><p></p><p>It seems Clay's pictures promote dark stories, I wonder what his favourite</p><p>writer is<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>Mythago, desperation seems to be the main emotion in your story, the failure</p><p>of the various scientists, and the inabilty of the main character to bring</p><p>back his friends. All make a very bleak story. And I too want irising doors,</p><p>with "whoosh" sounds.</p><p></p><p>Orchid, Your story is not bleak because everything goes wrong, but more in</p><p>the way the "enviroment"is presented, on a second reading, it is not as</p><p>dark. As the detective can solve the "problems" of the story, with only one</p><p>bullet, and one swipe of an axe.</p><p></p><p>Judgement- [sblock]My vote goes for Mythago, orchid story is not ready, While Mythago's story</p><p>felt "complete".[/sblock]</p><p></p><p> Decision- [sblock] Mythago takes the finals2-0[/sblock]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="alsih2o, post: 2134834, member: 4790"] My apologies, this is what I have for now. I am sure we will have more soon. :) Mythago Vs. Orchid Blossom- Final Alsih2o: Mythago- This story is a bit disgusting and disturbing. And that ain’t easy to do. J The wheelchair bound man makes for great pic usage in another dimension, the pic frames as tanks is a nice touch as well. Th group shot is used rather well, too. I am not the fondest of the bloody mouthed man, but it does work. The plot screams at you, obsession is always a great subject. Obsession mixed with madness is great IF the author can pull it off. I think Mythago did. I couldn’t decide if the l;ast line was too terse or just snappy enough, but I am gonna have to go with just snappy enough. J Orchid Blossom- Was that accordionist supposed to be nude? I LOVE references to other rounds. (When I catch them) The muse pic on stage works well, lots of little bites in the commentary. The only pic that isn’t handled really well here is the tree pic. It feels a little tacked on, but the language surrounding it really disguises it. Those green eyes staring at him after the axe blow really was a stellar moment. One of the big disadvantages that a writer in these competitions gets is a bunch of fantasy geeks as an audience. This can hurt if you tread too lightly and hurt of you press too hard. This was just enough. The threads resonate as a “playable” or “Real” world, strong stuff. Judgement- [sblock] Orchid Blossom just keeps getting better. Watching her improve as a writer has been a ball. However, Mythago is the elephant in the room. OB could have taken her story through almost any round, but not against this particular Mythago tale. My vote goes to Mythago[/sblock] Maldur: Mythago vs Orchid Blossem It seems Clay's pictures promote dark stories, I wonder what his favourite writer is:) Mythago, desperation seems to be the main emotion in your story, the failure of the various scientists, and the inabilty of the main character to bring back his friends. All make a very bleak story. And I too want irising doors, with "whoosh" sounds. Orchid, Your story is not bleak because everything goes wrong, but more in the way the "enviroment"is presented, on a second reading, it is not as dark. As the detective can solve the "problems" of the story, with only one bullet, and one swipe of an axe. Judgement- [sblock]My vote goes for Mythago, orchid story is not ready, While Mythago's story felt "complete".[/sblock] Decision- [sblock] Mythago takes the finals2-0[/sblock] [/QUOTE]
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