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Ceramic DM Winter 07 (Final Judgment Posted)
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<blockquote data-quote="Sialia" data-source="post: 3326427" data-attributes="member: 1025"><p>Miles, </p><p></p><p>[sblock] I think yours came closest for me, actually--it certainly had the ring of truth about it. </p><p></p><p>I think what failed was the "telling" the conflict instead of showing it: We heard that these affairs usually go badly, but we never saw this one teeter on the brink, or felt fallout from the previous year's disaster, or relived a particularly painful moment.</p><p></p><p>This story had a lot of potential. I liked the setting and the detail and the prose. I wanted to feel the characters more deply--I knew the narrator, but he is so self absorbed, he never really introduces me to his family, and the events don't give me enough of an outside peek as to how they are feeling about him, or how he fits in/doesn't fit in among them. Is he part of the hazardous condition, or just an observer? To what extent is his misery of his own making, or is he just a victim? How bad does it get when it gets bad?</p><p></p><p>I think this story is worth developing some more. [/sblock]</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sialia, post: 3326427, member: 1025"] Miles, [sblock] I think yours came closest for me, actually--it certainly had the ring of truth about it. I think what failed was the "telling" the conflict instead of showing it: We heard that these affairs usually go badly, but we never saw this one teeter on the brink, or felt fallout from the previous year's disaster, or relived a particularly painful moment. This story had a lot of potential. I liked the setting and the detail and the prose. I wanted to feel the characters more deply--I knew the narrator, but he is so self absorbed, he never really introduces me to his family, and the events don't give me enough of an outside peek as to how they are feeling about him, or how he fits in/doesn't fit in among them. Is he part of the hazardous condition, or just an observer? To what extent is his misery of his own making, or is he just a victim? How bad does it get when it gets bad? I think this story is worth developing some more. [/sblock] [/QUOTE]
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