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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Berandor" data-source="post: 3326897" data-attributes="member: 225">Thanks for the comments!  Sialia and Gulla both: While I did not try for "universal truth" in my story, brilliant would have been nice. I hope I get another try in this contest...also: look at what kind of pics I have to work with![sblock]It's the expectations <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />One of my problems with Ceramic DM is that I tend to take pictures very literally. For example, with Piratecat's story I would have had great difficulty not to take the four-legged family as what it is, people running on all fours. That also means that p.o.v.-pictures tend to be used as if a character is actually watching the exact scene, not as if it's the scene as described by a narrator. And of course, three of the four pictures were totally crazy. I knew that trying to spin them into a serious narrative would be difficult, so I chose the opposite path of comedy. That's very, very hard to do brilliantly, so my goal was to win by craftsmanship and by making fun of blind, of mentally deficient, and of grieving people as well as of terrorism. Yay!I know that my characters are a little sketchy, too, but I felt I had to keep things going instead of padding them out and making it all fall apart, even at the cost of stretching logic. All that jazz is just meant to say that I agree with your comments. Thanks![/sblock]And now I'll make a quick comment on the (other) stories so far:[sblock]Gabriel: I liked your story. What I think would have been better, though, is to tell it all as it happens and not as a flashback-of-sorts. That way, we would be able to experience all the events directly, and not summed up in a few sentences. And the "traitoress" would have been with us for a much longer time, too, so the "end" would carry more impact. The idea is cool, though.Match 1Aris Dragonborn: see my post somewhere above.Miles Pilitus: Your story flowed along without much of a plot. Sure, there were things happening, but they didn't really feel connected or to speak about some greater relevant truth. Not that it was badly observed or anything; the proceedings were described quite realistically. I was just left wondering why you told this story; what was it about?Match 2Graywolf ELM: What distracted me a little were the dialogues in bold. A nice story (and a D&D theme! Whoot!), but I felt the pictures were just not really connected. The stage was just set and re-set, and with the story's framework, any four pictures probably would have been incorporated just as neatly.mythago: Cool story, but the ending lacked a little punch for me. It's probably expectations, though. The idea was wonderful, and the protagonist was just the right kind of <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /><img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> to go down at the end. Creepy! I thought the "fight" picture wasn't too well integrated into the story, just a little side plot or remark.Match 4BSF: Were-toads! Also a D&D-story! The wedding picture did stick out a little bit (that *was* a mean pic!), and I felt the ending was a little rushed. Overall, I enjoyed the story very much, from the matter-of-fact behaviour of the toady family to the rakish-roguish plan of our anti-hero.Piratecat: While I thought that the wedding picture was nicely explained, it wasn't really that well integrated into the story. Or so I thought. Also, I would have preferred the optional, or director's cut ending you just posted <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> The story was very atmospheric, but it left me a little cold, mainly because I didn't feel the conflict was that well resolved.When he meets the "goddess", the protagonist says,From that I read that he's not that hung up on her faith, personally, but fears his community's repercussions should he marry her. And these repercussions weren't really affected by the events, unless he'll send his family or even the whole community to listen to the toad-god's story. So I was kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.[/sblock]Just a few short comments, there, nothing too egrerious (sp?).Next: judgements?</blockquote>

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