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Message: <blockquote data-quote="yangnome" data-source="post: 3330559" data-attributes="member: 7413">Judgement Round 1 Match 2 Mythago vs. Graywolf-ELMOrchid Blossom:Mythago vs. Greywolf-ELMDomino – MythagoThe first picture use is very strong.  The story seems built from this picture, every element used to create the basis of the story, wherever it may go from here.The strong beginning is marred y some minor technical problems.  The sentence, “Varukovna was not only one of the most pitiful subject, but at twenty-four, one of the most photogenic,” is a little confusing.  I’m not sure if it’s meant to say that she is not a pitiful subject, or is the most photogenic of many pitiful subjects.  Either, “…was not the most pitiful subject…” or “…was not only one of the most pitiful subjects…”Each scene included tells us something and moved the story forward.  We see Tetsuno as proud of his accomplishment, savvy in business, and selfish enough not to worry about what his creation is doing; as if he knew that people would use it incorrectly, but doesn’t care as long as it brings him money.  His encounter with Sadhye Thul exposes how he has an ability to read people, and helps explain his annoyance with people wearing the RealMasques all the time.  They are losing the very humanity that allowed him to manipulate them.While the second picture use isn’t a throw-away, it almost feels like an aside.  We learn there about the RealMasques affect on the body’s reaction to trauma, but we’re removed from the picture.  It’s something Tetsuno has seen in the past rather than being present in the story.  The third and fourth are present in the story, helping create a picture of some rather ridiculous looking people in our minds.The last scene seemed a bit out of sync.  Although we had the scene where Tetsuno realized that one of the RealMasques is “empty” we never get any hint that the empties might be organizing, taking action, or becoming a cult.  Without any foreshadowing it feels like a car having trouble shifting.  The fact that they’re coming to change their creator would have been enough of a twist for me.The Princess – Greywolf-ELMThis story is more a character sketch than a full-fledged story.  In the first three paragraphs we get just about everything we need to know about the Princess.  Entitled, manipulative, looking to take the best advantage she can of her marriage.  The handmaid is also sketched in quickly but effectively.  Appropriately smug, it’s obvious she knows something Sharinta doesn’t.The piece is very short, and the end comes unexpectedly.  We know a war ended, but not that the old King of her new nation was supposed to be dead.  We can’t share Sharinta’s shock because we never shared her assumptions.The last picture used is definitely an illustratable moment, the big reveal of the story.  The first two illustrate the Princess’ personality, but don’t offer anything new.  Each one is place with a purpose, so none feel out of place or forced.There are also some referenced that are under-explained.  It’s not clear if Sharinta’s charms are natural; a pretty girl who knows how to use what she has, or magical in nature.  The end of the story mentions demons, which suggests she might be a succubus of some king but it isn’t clear.The end would have had more effect for me if I had a handle on what the war between the two countries had been like beforehand, as well as what the relationship with Sharinta and her father is.Both stories got my imagination going for different reasons, but I have to throw this one to mythago.HerremanRound One - Match Two JudgmentGraywolf-ELM vs. MythagoNot wishing to delay any further, and with ‘Lady Death’ eagerly pushing for her next meal, I swung her in the air declaring the next match. “Infernal Jury, I address you for the second time this evening to beg your weight of judgment to the offerings of Graywolf-ELM and Mythago”.Again the two dressed-up imp servants presented the two offerings. I noticed that this time, the offerings had been painstakingly printed on vellum as I placed them upon the altar.“Infernal Jury, Graywolf has given us the story of an unnatural accord between the Lands of Men and the Infinities of Chaos, whilst Mythago has trekked into the near future and the deviously hidden possibilities of a cyberkinetic uniform. Unfortunately for Graywolf, awkward pacing has made otherwise good elements of his story suffer. In addition, we are not given very much in terms of emotion to hang our interest on. Karina’s palpable mood of vengeance simmers underneath her mild servant guise but otherwise, we are left feeling little one way or the other in regards to Sharinta’s eventual trapping.”“Mythago starts in strong voice with a story completely convincing in its detail. Tetsuno’s dramatically obvious ego steams off of the page with the story temporally advancing to his eventual demise (and name change - Tetsuno/Tetsudo?). Thoroughly enjoyable, perhaps the only thing that jarred was the conclusion. If Tetsuno had have truly fallen to his own genius in some way, the conclusion would have been more convincing. Falling to a lapse in security was… not the huge plummet that he deserved. But I digress, as presented Mythago has presented us with a clever tale from a notoriously difficult set of images. Very well done!”“Jury of this Dark Court, if you feel Graywolf-ELM has delivered upon his promise, to the left must you venture while if Mythago’s prose strikes the correct note, progress to the right if you will.” At this, several scuffles broke out as debates ensued in pockets of the crowd. Apparently, there were some imps sympathetic to those of fiendish origin while others, fearful of succubi of any description cast resistance amongst the crowd. Others feeling that one writer has surpassed the other also voiced their attitude. Eventually and with name-calling flying from one side to the other, the final tally went Graywolf-ELM 17, Mythago 20. I was a little surprised at this given what I thought Mythago’s dominance. Still, imps as a whole seem to enjoy a more pure D&D yarn so maybe that’s it.I directed the Gnopf to fire up his projector as I waved ‘Lady Death’ in a casual arc before providing three soft taps on the granite. A disturbingly grainy image was cast upon the garage’s wall of four people presumably at sea. The Gnopf was tinkering with something but to little effect.“In all honesty, I felt that neither contestant got the best out of this image. Graywolf used this as an important display of cultural significance for the princess while Mythago impresses upon us that RealMasqued pirates seeking to crown their maker is the best way to encapsulate this picture’s essence. I would have liked to see Graywolf explain the story so its significance could be judged; show us rather than tell us. Why was there a difference in interpretation, what was the difference and how would it add to Sharinta’s eventual demise? Pictures are best used when they permeate the story in initially unseen ways, having their tendrils spread and hook into various elements of the story. Mythago’s use was suitable but obviously not brilliant. What can I say; it was a difficult image almost completely out of context with the other three. In fact all the images in this selection were disparate. Still, on the pictures must the contestants be judged and for good or ill, so must you the jury decide.”Again a tapping of the scythe on stone and again several arguments developed. I suppose if nothing else the imps were getting into this match-up a little more than the previous. Still, I would soon have to curb some of the more rambunctious behaviour. As movement finished but yelling continued, the final tally was Graywolf-ELM 15 imps to Mythago’s 22. The Gnopf then cast the next image upon the garage: a combatant getting stabbed by a short sword with onlookers of significance displaying zero passion in the background. The imps finally quieted with a few harsh words from me.“Well this was classic D&D dress-ups. Graywolf cast this as a martial display gone wrong to honour the soon-to-be-crowned Princess where as Mythago has more ingeniously used this to demonstrate the RealMasque’s damage evading properties and eventual naval involvement. I found Graywolf’s use a little simple and Mythago’s quite bizarre - which is a good thing. Well, it wasn’t brilliant use I suppose but it did help connect an important story development - even though the naval involvement could have received a little more attention just to round things out. Anyway good jury once again, more focus on movement and less focus on combat. This time, there was just the slightest trickle as two imps headed over to Mythago and one headed back to Graywolf. Goodness knows what the hell that imp was paying attention to? And so Graywolf-ELM 14 imps to Mythago’s 23.The Gnopf having finally rectified the projector’s “grainy-image-producing” problem now displayed in brilliant colour four uniformly contorted ballerinas.“Now here is where I think we see the greatest divergence in image use amongst our two competitors. While Graywolf has continued with his series of entertainment displays (ho-hum), Mythago has brilliantly used what I thought to be the most difficult image of the entire first round (closely followed by the bulldozing nuptial couple). This image completely inspires the whole RealMasque Domino story and in such a convincing way as well. Given the image-difficulty I consider this the best picture use I have presided over and certainly up there with the best I have seen in CDM competition. Please Mythago, take a bow and jury, don’t halt in your praise for such fine use!”The imps failed to move.“That means deliberate you ignorant sods! Express your opinion!” Still nothing. “MOVE!”Finally as if only just understanding my command (or was it the slightly careless angle in which I wielded the scythe?), the imps progressed to a position of a full 28 imps to Mythago’s side leaving Graywolf-ELM with 9. All was going well but I heard a quick snap then minor implosion as I turned to the projector to see the Gnopf blown back twenty-foot impacting with the back fence. He got up quickly indicating he was OK but it was obvious the projector was having a moment of difficulty.“What about the next image?” The Gnopf turned at my question and his expression changed from worried thought to spreading grin. He hurriedly wheeled out a strange device then jumped up and down indicating something. Again I felt a tug from behind and one of the court functionaries informed me that the Gnopf had an emergency back up machine but he would require one of the jury members to “assist”. I slowly turned back to the Gnopf and nodded my hesitant assent to which he grabbed one of Mythago’s imps. A quick instruction and the hapless imp was bundled into the machine. The Gnopf then adjusted several knobs, manoeuvred the machine for several seconds into a particular position before pulling the operating lever with a loud pop.The judging imp was projected at high speed directly into the garage wall with a loud bang, the poor creatures blood and bits forming a bizarre pattern. I looked to the Gnopf with a look of “what the…” but he pointed back to the garage. The imps fluids had quickly dried into the image of a strange looking Indian complete with bizarrely flowing headdress. I was taken completely aback. We may think that we as a society are high-tech but seriously, Hell has it all over us! I was impressed.The imp divested of a large portion of his vitals stumbled back mistakenly towards Graywolf’s group. Despite cries from both sides, he remained slumped in place changing the tally. I suppose Mythago had a good lead so with luck it would not unduly affect the result. After the commotion, I continued.“Graywolf uses this image quite well as the old, wise King having seemingly trumped his rival while Mythago presents Tetsuno with his final form. The creator is forced to be his creation. Graywolf picks upon the wizened features of someone who oozes leadership while Mythago picks upon the technologically advanced elements of the dress. As such both uses were OK if not brilliant. Still, I wonder how much this image influenced Mythago and the domino avenue that was taken? Perhaps I have directed too much kudos to the previous image? Jury, you alone have the insight to see into such things and so please, vote with a will.”There was some minor shuffling as members of the jury decided upon their final position. However, the largest of the imps staunchly opposed to Graywolf’s offering jumped through the ranks to find the seriously injured imp. However rather than seeing if one of his brethren was OK or nursing his slumped form, he instead catapulted the hapless creature back towards Mythago’s supporters before stomping back himself.Our final tally for the round then is 8 for Graywolf-ELM to Mythago’s 29 supporters. I tapped ‘Lady Death’ to finalise the jury’s decision. Congratulations to both competitors and commiserations to Graywolf. Unfortunately I think you caught Mythago in particularly inspired form.Yangnome:Graywolf–ELM - The PrincessInteresting story.  It doesn’t really start to pick up for me until the handmaid talks about resisting her charms.  You had me hooked from there.  You did a decent job with characterization all around, the characters seemed real and believable.  All in all though, the story seemed short.  The bulk of the story focused on the entertainment, which held very little emotional impact on the overall story.  It seemed as if it was meant to be a prelude to a larger story, and I would have liked to have seen that larger story.  Picture Use:This is where your entry is weakest.  You used three of your pictures as entertainment events that didn’t really apply to the whole story.  This to me is tantamount to using in story pictures.  I could maybe forgive it for one picture, but for ¾ of your pictures, it seemed that you were avoiding incorporating them into the story.  The use of the King was strong.Mythago – DominoWow.  I really enjoyed this story.  Where you succeed for me, is that you are able to develop a story with a common theme running through it.  You take that theme and develop it and every part of the story helps support that theme.  It is interesting to see Tetsubo’s opinions change over the years as his invention becomes more ingrained into society.  Picture use was very strong.  You seem to have taken your pictures and used them as a foundation for the whole story.  The ballerina picture definitely sets the stage for the entire story, but the others help support it, especially the Indian Chief.  The sword fight picture was probably the weakest, but even here you showed the important evolution of the real masks that built up to the end of the story.  Congrats to both competitors for putting together strong stories. My vote goes to Mythago for a very well done story.Mythago takes the round 3-0.</blockquote>

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