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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Berandor" data-source="post: 3331684" data-attributes="member: 225">1. comment on drawmack's response to my response.[sblock]Ah, I see. Perhaps stressing the parody a little more would help in getting that better across then? E.g. "By now you're probably expecting a hard interrogation. In reality, though, people like to talk, even about things they shouldn't. My job is just being the person who will listen. Basically, my job is show (up), and they'll tell."Or something. Notice the little innuendo I put in there? <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />It is very hard to decide where to stop explaining. If you do too little, you confuse the reader. If you do to much, you seem to be condescending or, at the very least, it's boring.Hey, at least you used the right pictures! <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />[/sblock]Now, my running commentary to the next two writers who delivered:[sblock]tadk: I loved your beginning! The description, the atmosphere of Thailand is wonderfully dense, and the first picture was awesomely used, giving it a quality of sadness and reality I very much enjoyed. When you talk about how things changed over night, it really intrigued me. Where I think the entry falters a little is in the meeting itself; I didn't fully understand what was happening there and why PS was laughed off, whether he was the small guy in the picture or whether that was TM and what the talk about remaking oneself was about. I liked the ending that basically described a failure, a Midnight-kind-of world where shadows *do* haunt you. Aside from the first picture, the others weren't that strongly integrated, and there were some spelling mistakes I noticed. But I still liked it a lot.Rodrigo Istalindir: Very, very nice. To me, quite possibly the best story of round 1 (the three missing pieces notwithstanding). The one thing I got a little confused about was the coffin picture; did the father die, or did our hero fake another death? Especially since we start the story with the fake suicide, I half expected daddy to show up at the wedding and I was wondering whether I'd buy such a change of heart. If daddy died, however, then the coffin scene would seem (assonance!) a little weak, so I'm not sure what to believe. Also, I was curious why the protagonist never even checks to see whether the flat tire can be replaced. But I liked the idea behind it, the characters, the plot, the whole shebang. Should you proceed, I hope you'll face anyone except me in round two <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />[/sblock]</blockquote>

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