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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Gulla" data-source="post: 3333552" data-attributes="member: 4272">Then I guess the others should be really worried when you enter as a competitor in the next CDM. As an experienced spectator I'll just look forward to it  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" /> But I was sort of promising to comment on the stories, so in the sblock comments for the next 4.[sblock]By the way, reading things more than once is normally not my way of doning things. So whatever I miss on the first read probably will come like a big surprise when someone else points it out to me. So comments are from first impressions.tadk - In the begining this was compelling and pulling me in, but also confusing. What is happening? who is telling this? and why? I seem to remember from earlier entires that this feeling somewhere between a story and a poetic sketch is your style.This time I feel it is a bit too sketchy. I get that some great change has happened, but I never really find out what. My gut feeling is that something like a "Shadowrun transformation" has happened, but I never get anything really confirming this. The use of initials for the only named characters is nice, but Post Scriptum (PS) and (registered) Trade Mark (TM) are disturbing to me since i never really find out why they are named like that. So all in all I like the mood and I really feel that there is something "wrong" with the world and that we should know what, but I end up a bit disappointed in the end not knowing much more than at the start.questing gm First of all: late is better than nothing and showing up is much better than disappearing. Good work delivering a story. I like the setting, but (probably due to running out of time?) it still feels like a story sketch. The plot seems to be to save the world from the god(dess?) of hairdressers by Rock n' Roll, and with some work and fleshing out the first two thirds of the story looks good. The last part doesnt seem to fit in quite well, and really needs something to get it tied in with the rest. And the punchline (?) is totally lost on me. Wether that is because of my lack of American/English cultural background or because it is no good, I cannot say. Hopefully you live and learn and come back to play another time.Rodrigo IstilindirWhat is it with this CDM and hardboiled and/or questionable detectives? This story has a nice tension to it, and I like the pacing. We get nice small hints of a rejected man who (I think) still loves the girl enough to help her. The pace is exactly the same as my reading speed, which for this type of story is probably a little bit slow (that is, I'm not "chasing" the next paragraph/page in excitement).I was wondering why he didn't try to change the weel, but the tire spikes explained that (but maybe you should have explained someway that running over tire spikes normally ruins more than one tire. A short curse or something about all weels being destroyed.)The owolf is a nice touch and the conyote is a great monster. I think I'll steal that one. The end is a bit too sweet, I think. The father dies with some level of forgiveness for his daughter and the wedding is ok. It just didn't feel on par with the rest. Maybe if the pace through the rest of the story had been a bit faster the relaxing in the end would feel nice, but now it felt a bit like relaxing after having a short walk (which is nice) more than coming to rest after a hard run (which is wonderful). (If that makes any sense...)DrawmackAnother hardboiled PI, but for me this is the stylistically best of them so far. It made me laugh and I really like some of the pictures and sentences. You basically had me hooked with "a set of gams that would leave a priest needing a confessional".  The rest of the story is a nice trip in the dark detectives life, but maybe a bit too little resistance. On the other hand it shows that "detective work is boring" in a vary entertaining way  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> The end is a bit sudden and short, so I don't feel as satisfied finishing this as I do reading it, but the trip was nice, so I'll just live with the destination being "not so good".But 4 nice stories and I see that there will be a rough competition in the loosers bracket as well. Good luck to all of you.[/sblock]Håkon</blockquote>

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