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Message: <blockquote data-quote="maxfieldjadenfox" data-source="post: 3335922" data-attributes="member: 18003">No Experience NecessaryNo Experience Necessary Maxfieldjadenfox vs CarpedavidI’ve heard it said that out there, somewhere, there’s a job for everyone; the perfect employment, the occupation that will do more than pay your bills, the occupation that will feed your soul. My checkered employment history began at the Deng Xiaoping orphanage in Taiwan. That’s not so unusual there, if you’re born a girl. With the one child policy and my lack of a Y chromosome, I counted myself lucky to be alive at all. Sometimes I prayed to Matsu that I might find my parents, but the orphanage wasn’t so bad. I learned to read and write, and thanks to the government’s cultural preservation program, I also learned traditional calligraphy, painting and even a little opera. There was a tree outside my window, and little red birds that sang to me and made my heart glad. None of that helped me much out in the real world though, and when I turned 18 and found myself on my own, I went looking for something to put rice on the table. I had stopped praying to Matsu for parents and started praying to find my dream job. My first job was in a factory, manufacturing bobble-head dolls. You know the ones I’m talking about, with the grossly distorted features and huge heads on teeny tiny bodies? I lasted 6 months. I started to have nightmares about waking up with a head so large that I couldn’t hold it up without breaking my neck… I had to quit.I stumbled onto my next job accidentally. I was walking home to my room in Mrs. Sun’s cheap boarding house where I was about to be evicted for non-payment of rent, wondering if becoming a prostitute was any kind of possibility, when I saw a placard in the window of a convenience store. “Chinese bikini ski team. Perform in beautiful Changkun! No experience necessary. See Mr. Hsu for more information.” Most people don’t know that the Jilin province has some pretty amazing skiing. This might just be my dream job!  I had never skied, but when I showed up on his doorstep bright and early the next morning, Mr. Hsu, a small but imposing man, looked me up and down, made a small hissing sound through the gap between his front teeth, and hired me on the spot. Even on the meager rations of the last few months, I was curvier than most Asian girls and I guess I was sort of cute too. My friend Mai said I looked like Sailor Moon. I took her word for it since I hadn’t seen much Japanese anime. Anyway, next thing I knew, I was on my way to Changchun, and the Jingyuetan skiing field with five other girls who actually knew how to ski. Mai was the leader. She was so graceful she made the ridiculous yellow floral bikini and gloves combo look elegant. I did my share of falling down at first, but I did get the hang of it, mostly in self defense. It’s damned cold to fall in the snow when all you’re wearing is a bathing suit, and Mr. Hsu yelled constantly about me “bruising the merchandise.” I did love the way the snow sparkled in the bright winter sunlight though, and Mai taught me how to shift my weight so I didn’t fall, to lean forward enough, but not too much. She became my best friend. We practiced and performed in small venues for a few months before Mr. Hsu pronounced us ready to go to the big leagues, the Yabuli Ski Resort. On the day of our performance, I had such stage fright I could barely dress myself. Mai had to help me put my skis on, and she laughed when I couldn’t get my hair into a ponytail. “You’ll be fine,” she told me as she pulled on her trademark red gloves and picked up her green flag. With hands shaking from fright as much as cold, I put on my sunglasses, picked up my yellow flag and headed down the mountain. I was doing my best to remain upright and not look at the huge crowd of tourists standing on the sidelines. A guy whistled and I looked over at him and that’s when things fell apart. My ski hit Mai’s boot and she stumbled. Then I slid into her and Lin slid into me and instead of a hot sleek line of bikini babes, we were a tangle of skis and flags and Mr. Hsu was yelling at me that I was fired and Mai laughed and he fired her too. Mai and I were standing on the street in front of the resort when Mr. Hsu came running out. “Mai,” he said, “you’re my best girl. I didn’t mean it. You’re not fired.” Mai slugged me in the arm and said, “Come on.” Mr. Hsu said, “Oh, no, not her. She’s pretty but she’s bad news. Just you.” Mai tried to protest that she wouldn’t go back without me, but I told her to go on. She gave me a hug and promised we’d keep in touch. I got a letter from her a few weeks later. She had told Mr. Hsu to get stuffed and she was in Sun Valley Idaho, giving ski lessons. I was back in Taiwan, trying to hail a cab when I found my next job. “Matsu wants you!” read the ad on the top of the cab. “Water taxi service needs immediate help, no experience necessary.” I had never been on the water, never been in a boat, but when I arrived at the dock the next morning, Chun Lin slapped me on the rear and said, “Welcome aboard!” He showed me how to steer the ugly, rusted craft that I would use to ferry people from bank to bank, and I got the hang of it, even as I was fending off his advances. “Matsu,” I prayed, “please help me to be a good sailor, like my seafaring ancestors.” For a few months, things went well. I began to enjoy the way the tiller felt in my hand, and the sense of mastery I got from piloting my little boat through the choppy water. I loved to watch the sea turn from green to blue to grey, to watch the waves go from small ripples to huge rip tides. One day, a middle aged business man had the same ideas as Chun Lin. I was trying to miss a pilaster in the water at the same time as I was trying to keep the businessman’s hands off my behind. Next thing I knew, the boat was on its side and the businessman was drowning. I felt a sensation of unseen hands lifting me, as if the sea itself was protecting me. For a moment, I thought about swimming off and leaving him to his fate, but I couldn’t. He was revolting, but I prayed again to Matsu to save us and she did, sending Chun Lin in a rowboat. As he dragged the businessman choking and sputtering out of the water, he bellowed at me, “Look what you did to my boat! You’re fired!” I was sorry to lose the job, but the sensation of the arms of the sea stayed with me and I was content.I was late with the rent again and Mrs. Sun was about to kick me out. The bobble head doll factory was beginning to look good. I thought about the boat, the ski team, and Mai. I wondered if I would ever find my dream job, or if it was just that, a dream. As if by magic, the telephone rang and Mrs. Sun answered it. With a sour look, she handed the receiver to me. “Hello?” It was Mai, offering me a ticket to Vermont!“What happened to Sun Valley?” I asked her. “I like to keep moving,” she said. I ran upstairs and packed my things into a duffle bag and the next day, blessing Mr. Hsu for my passport, I was on my way to the United States. When I got off the plane a bleary 18 hours later, Mai greeted me at the gate and took my hand. “Min Su! It’s so good to see you!” I hadn’t realized how much I missed her. As we made our way to her apartment, I told her about the boat. She clucked in an understanding way and told me I was sure to find the job of my dreams in America. She seemed so positive, and she was certainly happy. I hoped that she was right. In the morning, jet lagged but eager, I sat at Mai’s little table and read the want ads. In the unskilled labor section I found my next job. “Work for New England’s biggest pest control service, no experience necessary, we train!” I wrote down the address and hoped my English was good enough for me to find my way there. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to find the building. The giant winged cockroach on the roof reminded me of home. I went inside and the big man behind the desk stood up and held out his hand to me. A sense of deja vu rocked me, but I ignored it. “I’m here about the job”, I said, proffering the newspaper. “You got any pest control experience?” “No, but I come from Taiwan. Our insect life is legendary.” “You’ll do girly.” He grinned. Walking around with a canister full of poison definitely wasn’t on my list of dream jobs, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do, right? Every day, I went to people’s houses, crawled into their crawl spaces, stumped down into their basements, climbed into their dusty attics. Every day I saw my prey, spiders and roaches, ants and termites, succumb to the liquid death I sprayed. I felt sorry for them, akin to them. I heard their small voices cry out to me as they died. It was then I started to have the dreams. I was walking through the woods. It was autumn in Vermont and the trees were ablaze with yellow and orange and red. I heard a voice, mellifluous, kind, feminine, ancient, calling me to come deeper into the forest. And then I woke up. Every night I walked deeper into the woods, and every morning it was harder to find my way back. Mai thought it might be the poison, causing hallucinations, but it felt like something more. She was worried about me, especially since she had been offered her own dream job in Aspen. She wanted me to come with her, but somehow, I knew my dreams and my dream job were connected to New England. When Mai left, I stayed in her apartment. The job with New England Pest Control paid the bills, but more and more I sleepwalked through my days, eager only for the night and the woods. “Min Su,” the voice said, “Come to the forest today.” I opened my eyes. The sun was streaming through the window but in my heart it was still the clear moonlit night. It was Saturday, so I didn’t have to work. I put on a pair of boots and some warm clothes and headed for the forest west of town. I had avoided it up until now, but somehow I knew today was the right day for me to walk down the path, the path scattered with fallen leaves, and meet… what, I wasn’t sure. The forest was the forest of my dream. The path, though unknown to me in my waking life, felt as familiar to my feet as my old slippers. I began to walk faster, then to run, and soon I was at the very center of the woods, amongst oaks and ash and blackthorn trees. The ground was thick with fallen leaves and the voice said, “Welcome, daughter.” I looked up and a woman with seaweed hair and eyes the color of the ocean and a big man, clothed in leaves, with a leafy mask, stepped out from the trunk of one of the oaks. “Matsu?” The woman smiled. “Daughter.” I looked at the man. He seemed familiar. He spoke, but only leaves came from his mouth. Matsu smiled again. “Meet your father, the Green Man.” I had heard of the Green Man, but he certainly wasn’t a Chinese God. I told Matsu as much. Her smile became a laugh. “Gods have no geographic boundaries, daughter. When we met and loved, he was a wandering in my land. After you were born, I followed him here.”“You left me in an orphanage?” I was confused and angry. What could any of this mean? “Things that come too easily are not valued. You had to find us in order for us to be found.” I shook my head. Why did Gods always talk in riddles? “I don’t understand.” “Why are you here?” “Because you called me.”“No, daughter, you called us. When your heart sang with the small red birds at the orphanage. When you felt joy at the sparkle of sunlight on the snow. When you were adrift in my ocean and felt my arms about you, when you felt compassion for the meanest crawling things. You called us and said you were ready for your work, and we have come to set you on the path.” She held out an enormous leaf mask. “Put it on and see with new eyes.” I took the leaf from her and placed it on my face. The world rocked. I could feel the sap slowing in the trees for their winter’s sleep. I could see the ants deep under ground, preparing to hibernate. I could hear the birds discussing the coming migration. And far away, off the coast of Maine, I could sense the sea, its salt water mingled with my blood. Leaves swirled around me, blown by an unseen wind. I looked at my parents, who beamed proudly at me. “How will I know what to do?” I asked. My mother, Matsu, Goddess of the sea, smiled at me and said, “No experience necessary. Only love for this earth.”</blockquote>

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