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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Piratecat" data-source="post: 3395856" data-attributes="member: 2">Oh, the humanity! A friend emailed me last night to sympathize, but I hadn't seen the judgment yet - and when I got the email, my internet connection was down and I couldn't go read the results. And holy cow, congratulations to Rodrigo. The final round is going to be spectacular.I think my story is definitely more accessible to people familiar with comic tropes, and the judgment probably reflects that. I recognized that as a possible problem when I started the story, at least, so I'm neither surprised nor disappointed at the results. I wrote the story that I set out to write. I agree with folks who said the introduction is a bit awkward; I debated it back and forth, made a bunch of edits to it, and finally decided that the story was stronger with it than without it. Part of what I'm trying to do is set a mood, but the intro may be an overly ham-handed way to do so.Orchid Blossom, you mentioned that you noticed the writerly techniques I was using. Could you... erm... tell me what the heck they were, or point me to an appropriate web site that defines them? The downside of having gone to business school is that I don't know diddly about formal writing techniques.The only way I could justify using the Keystone Kops photo as an initial movie shot was to later turn that message into a key story element. I think of it a little bit like literary jujitsu, setting up one expectation ("Piratecat made a blatant goof!") and then using it in a different way that ties tightly into the story. It's also the only legitimate way I could work that image into the story without it feeling mood-breakingly strained.  The other photo that felt a little strained to me was the leafy conference table. I threw in some doubletalk about 'form and function,' but it's the one photo I think I could legitimately remove and still have effectively the same story.The only judge comment I personally disagree with is the statement "The downside to this type story, by its nature, is that I won’t take away a greater message or deeper meaning." I couldn't disagree with this more. Whether or not my story achieved it - and it probably didn't - I fundamentally believe that graphic storytelling and comics-themed prose can have just as much weight, impact and validity as a horror story, a love story, or anything in between. I submit that if you don't go in looking for a deeper meaning you won't see it there, but I certainly wrote it to have one. No worries, though - I'm just debating literary philosophy. Rodrigo's story was superb, and I greatly look forward to the final round. I also would like to thank the judges; the detailed and prompt judgments help tremendously. I can't tell you how glad I am that I decided to get back up on the horse and participate in this.</blockquote>

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