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Message: <blockquote data-quote="AuroraGyps" data-source="post: 1964829" data-attributes="member: 1166">I'm practically suicidal... can't get more emotional than that. <img src="http://www.enworld.org/forum/images/smilies/nervous.png"  class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":heh:" title="Nervous Laugh    :heh:" data-shortname=":heh:" />   I know I have to be a bit carefull about what I write, nothing that could be taken as a threat.... at the most there may be a bit of name calling. Besides, I've been having most of these feelings for almost 4 years, so alot of the words are in my head already.  It's scary feeling them, it's scarier saying them out loud... putting them on paper...yikes!!I haven't talked to my ex on the phone in over a year, and I don't plan on it.  That'd be a sure way for me to get over emotional and say something stupid.  I've e-mailed him a couple of times (mostly because some people have things of mine that I'm trying to get back), the last saying that I stumbled across his website and found out he'd had a kid... & while I know I'm not entitled to him letting me know the news, hearing it from him would have been nicer than finding out how I did or bumping into someone one the street.I have no idea if I'll ever send this letter.  I don't see the use really.  I don't think he or any of my other ex-friends care about the hurt they caused me, but if writing it down so it's not constantly running through my head and causing nightmares and worse, then I'll try anything.</blockquote>

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