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Message: <blockquote data-quote="AuroraGyps" data-source="post: 1975954" data-attributes="member: 1166">Bumpy UpdateWell, I still haven't written the letter, mostly because I have a bunch of other things on my mind.  Having some problems with paperwork and people that are supposed to be helping me at the moment.  I'm STILL waiting for my therapist to return the either of the 2 messages I've left for her last week (not to mention being pretty peeved that the temp. disability papers I sent to her for her/my shrink to fill out got returned NOT filled out and just someone's illegible signature on one form <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f621.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":mad:" title="Mad    :mad:"  data-smilie="4"data-shortname=":mad:" /> <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f621.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":mad:" title="Mad    :mad:"  data-smilie="4"data-shortname=":mad:" />).  I admit, me missing a couple of appointments since I got back doesn't help (had anxiety attacks, but lied and said it was other stuff.... you feel lame after a while calling to cancel for the same reason over & over), but considering how close I am to being suicidal (not sure where I fall into that... I think about it, but I'm not considering it, but I'm kinda close to considering it... kinda confusing), you'd think they'd be more concerned.  Today, I finally made it to recertify (sp?) for Medicaid, Foodstamps, and stuff.  I had to cancel the last three appointments because... anybody?... that's right, I freaked out and couldn't make it.  I mentioned that I was having a bad month, and how I'm overwhelmed with the paperwork, and a few other things about my health, just so maybe she'd understand a little that... I don't know, maybe that she'd just understand.   I was quite tense to say the least... a bit of shaking going on.  I wasn't fond of the woman.  I'm just so bad at doing paperwork & I can't keep track of all the stuff I've filled out.  By the time I was finished with her, I was almost in tears.  My last comment (regarding my health) was, "I'm like this close to killing myself (while holding my finger and thumb about 1/2" apart)".  She replied, "Well, that won't solve anything," to which I answered, "Yeah, but I wouldn't have to deal w/ anymore paperwork."<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />  I was half serious and half not.  Ugh, I can't wait to start appealing my SSI not be approved. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" />  <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /> I then went to Walden Books, bought Dreamwatch and the new BtVS mag, went over to get a couple of slices of pizza, got my grandma this BIG, awesome card with birds on it (sparrows and other birds.... she loves nature... birds, flowers, etc... & she can put it up as a poster in her room at the home), and lastly went to the downtown library.  The library is one of the things I will miss the most about leaving Buffalo... I picked up the new Jim Butcher fantasy novel, the 3rd book in the Sovereign Stone tril, Sunshine by McKinley (supposed to be Buffy-like), The Filtcher's Bride & White as Snow (new in the Windling Fairie Tale series AND they have Canty covers <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /> ), 2 BtVS novels, and about 15 graphic novels (including several Hellboy ones, several BtVS ones, CSI, Aria "The Soul Market", & Fables done by Vertigo).  Carrying it all was my weight training for the week (a great work out, especially in the cold, windy, and snowy weather we had all day).<img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f600.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":D" title="Big grin    :D"  data-smilie="8"data-shortname=":D" />  I've watched all of my BtVS 7th Season DVDS about 2 or 3 times each, I need a break.  Plus, this weekend, I'm going to rent three DVDs, with two of them being free (pay for my 12th rental and I get a free rental PLUS, as an employee, I got a free rental and B-Day card from the company).  Wegmans will be another thing I REALLY miss about Buffalo, especially since we were listed in Forbes as the #1 company to work for and everybody'll be celebrating that all year.Ok, I'm done rambling.  Can you tell I don't get to talk to people much (my mom doesn't quite count as people <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f609.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=";)" title="Wink    ;)"  data-smilie="2"data-shortname=";)" /> )?  Signing off from the great white north.</blockquote>

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