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Message: <blockquote data-quote="randomling" data-source="post: 1986415" data-attributes="member: 8432">In the writing exercise? On the boards, we have the "grandma rule" so you might need to be a little careful about what you say in anything you post here, but you likely knew that already.In an exercise like the one you're doing, it seems like there are no rules or restraints on what you can or can't say. The the exercise, surely, is to get your feelings out on paper. Part of the point of the exercise is simply to have those feelings expressed. The other useful thing is that afterwards your feelings are there, on paper, for you to look at (and only you, if you want. You don't even have to show it to your therapist if you don't want to). There is no "should" for this exercise; it's here to help you, and you can use it any way you think it'll help you.With that in mind, I'd advise you to write whatever the heck you want. Swear and curse. Call him, his friends, and even his family if you want to, every name under the sun. Throw insults about like confetti. Make threats, if you want. Tell your ex and anyone else who treated you like crap exactly what you'd like to do to them if you got them alone in a room with a sharp object. You're safe. You can burn it after it's written, if you like. No one is going to know what you said. It sounds like you have lots of anger to get out: good. It sounds like they deserve your anger. Get it out.If after you've done that, you want to refine your letter down into something you feel is sendable, go right ahead. Writing something that will make your ex understand what he did to you is different from spewing your feelings out onto paper no holds barred, and OK, I'm not entirely sure which you're after. But if you're going to make him understand what he did to you, maybe a good first step is to write it down and see it in black and white for yourself?(Oh, and it's the hardest thing in the world, but try not to censor yourself too much when you're writing that first draft.)In any case, you've got an email on the way. <img src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f642.png" class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" width="64" height="64" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)"  data-smilie="1"data-shortname=":)" /></blockquote>

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