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[CoC] A Comedy of Cthulhu
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<blockquote data-quote="DM with a vengence" data-source="post: 197213" data-attributes="member: 1679"><p>The long awaited update, this one is pure gold!</p><p></p><p>David was feeling the effects of more than 24 hours without sleep, so he took a brief nap on the couch in Dr. Morgan’s office before calling a cab to get back to the dorms (less than ¾ of a mile). About halfway there, a large truck pulled across the road in front of him and two guys got out and began to unload things, blocking his path. Weighing the odds, he decided to get out and walk the rest of the way to his room.</p><p></p><p>When he arrived, standing outside his door was a young woman, breathing heavily. “Hello. Are you David Chaise?”</p><p>“Yes.” He answered slightly puzzled.</p><p>“I want you to go check out a ghost, a friend of mine has had some weird experiences, and another friend who I mentioned it to said that you were studying Parapsychology, and might be able to help.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’d be me. Why are you breathing heavily?”</p><p>“Asthma attack.” She wheezed, “Its just a minor one, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“Okay, I a little tired right now, so if I could meet you tomorrow morning at coffee shop somewhere that’d be good.” He said.</p><p>“Sounds fine with me.” She replied.</p><p>“I didn’t catch your name.” David said.</p><p>“Dudash, Jeanne Dudash.”</p><p></p><p>“Hello, I’m a student at Miskatonic researching lost civilizations. Do you have any original sources, maybe some old books or a restricted section. Bastards, just hung up.” Marta crossed off another college in her almanac and called the last one on her list, a little place called Weaslyn. “Hello, I’m a student at Miskatonic researching lost civilizations. Do you have any original sources, maybe some old books or a restricted section. You do? Great, I’ll be over there first thing in the morning.” She left a note for Saquina, caught a bus to the train station, and bought one ticket to Weaslyn, checking her self into a motel there at about 3:00 in the morning.</p><p></p><p>“That’s really very interesting, but could we please see the house now.” David sipped his triple latte mocha cappuccino.</p><p>“Sure, it’s just down this way.” Jeanne Dudash stood up and walked down a few blocks. The house she indicated was an old 18th-19th sea captains house that had been converted to a boarding house for several students. “It’s in the attic. My friend says that sometimes when he’s walking home, he sees strange lights in his window, and that his closets slams open and shut and the toilet flushes unexpectedly.”</p><p>“Sounds like he needs a plumber, not me.” David joked as he climbed up the several flights of stairs.</p><p></p><p>She indicated a door set in the cramped hallway. “This is it.”</p><p>“Ladies first.” He opened the door and gestured her inside. Then he took out an infrared camera and looked at the wall. There was a warm spot on the wall, like someone was standing against it. He peaked around the doorframe, and just dodged a rapidly descending nightstick. He rushed inside and tried to the rip the nightstick out a man’s hands. He grabbed at it when Jeanne said, “Freeze.” She was holding a very small, very deadly pistol. “Put the bag down and sit in the chair.” She indicated a sturdy wooden armchair near the center of the room. He complied, and the man tied him down at the wrists, ankles and waist. Jeanne hooked up a polygraph and then calibrated it.</p><p>“Okay, what happened last night?” She demanded, studying the printout.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” David asked innocently.</p><p>“Can it, wise guy. Something happened last night because a group we keep track of were there, and you contacted them. If this mattered involved something slightly criminal, don’t worry we aren’t the government. We aren’t interested in prosecuting.”</p><p>He sighed. “All right. Last night I went to a rave with my friends. We left midway through, minus one person who we weren’t able to find. When we arrived back at the dorm, there was a strange glow in the top floor. When we looked inside, some sort of warp blocked the top of the stairs. I managed to pass through and found two people in strange robes watching the rave on a small TV. It was covered in mist and disappeared, and they said that that was good. I attacked them, disarmed one of his gun and used it to shoot them both. I cleaned up the scene, and then called the police. When I tried to go back up some freaky agent dude was there. Yesterday I went up there with my class, and then I went to the rave site. I won’t go into more detail, because there are copies of my report in the bag, but it was very weird.” He indicated the bag of equipment.</p><p>“Thank you, you’ve been most helpful.” Jeanne said. “Just remember, be careful. There are forces out there greater than you can comprehend, and you might have made them very angry. We’ll be in touch.”</p><p>“And now you inject me with a sedative and I wake up in my bed.” David said, half if jest.</p><p>“You people sometimes take all the fun out of this business.” Everything went black.</p><p></p><p>The restricted section at Weaslyn had nothing that she wanted to know. It was mostly just old and fragile books, not old and arcane tomes. Marta finally gave up in disgust after spending half a day there. She walked back to her motel to start calling schools and collectors around the country in search of what she wanted when a young woman in white pants and a black T-shirt emblazoned with stars stepped in front of her. “Hello, I’m Tammy. Basho said that you were looking for knowledge.” She tilted her head to one side and smiled.</p><p> “Uh, hello.” Marta replied, startled by Tammy. “Who are you and who’s Basho.”</p><p>“I’m an Acolyte of Stars, and Basho is our leader. He knows lots of things. He knows what you are looking for.” </p><p>Marta found Tammy’s short simple sentences and constant smiling very unnerving, but continued anyway. “What am I looking for?” She asked, nearly mesmerized.</p><p>“The truth that will set you free on the Path to the Stars. Basho knows the Path. Will you go with us?” Tammy smiled again.</p><p>“Could I have a moment to think about it?” Marta asked.</p><p>“Sure!” Tammy almost yelled.</p><p>Marta ran back to her motel room and grabbed her stuff, then made a few phone calls. “Saquina, I’m coming back to Arkham, could you pick me up at the station at 3:00? Thanks.”</p><p></p><p>After an uneventful train ride, and an equally uneventful drive back to Miskatonic U, they pulled up infront of the dorm. Occupying 6 parking spaces was an old school bus painted black with white stars and filled with people. Tammy stepped out and waved. “Hello Marta!”</p><p></p><p>David woke up in his bed, it was 4:00. His bag of Parapyschology tools was next to the door, minus his reports. He cleaned himself up and went over to Dr. Morgan’s office. Dr. Morgan was pacing the room in a panic. “David! Where the hell were you?”</p><p>“With some friends.” David said dryly. “Did something happen?”</p><p>“Someone broke in and trashed the lab. The samples, my equipment, all ruined!” Dr. Morgan wailed.</p><p>David looked in, the lab was indeed a mess, with hardware smashed, papers in the sink and already disintegrating, and samples dumped on the floor. The window was open, and by marks around the frame David could tell that it had been forced. It lead to a small grassy area that abutted the main parking lot that then sloped down to Miskatonic Sound. In the flowerbed outside the window were a pair or poorly preserved footprints. David walked outside and examined them, they were size 11 dress shoes. He poured plaster in the casts and waited, wondering what to do next.</p><p></p><p>“So Marta, are you coming with us?” Tammy asked.</p><p>“Umm, I’m not certain.” Marta said, put off by Tammy’s wierdness.</p><p>“We hold the answers you want to know. Answers that can only be obtained by walking the Path. Do you want to go on the Path?” Tammy asked again.</p><p>“I’ll go.” Saquina said. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”</p><p>Reluctantly, Marta and Saquina got on the bus, which was filled with young people from age 16 to 25.</p><p>“Come on folks.” Tammy said as the bus shuddered to a start. “Lets have a sing along.”</p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 9px">To the tune of “Rise and shine, and give God your glory glory</span></p><p><em>Cthulhu Fhtagn, Cthulhu Fhtagnie-tangie</em></p><p><em>Cthulhu Fhtagn, Cthulhu Fhtagnie-tangie</em></p><p><em>Eat their souls, and drive them insanie-sanie</em></p><p><em>Children of Chaos</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>In dead R’lyeh, Cthulhu lies dreaming dreaming</em></p><p><em>In dead R’lyeh, Cthulhu lies dreaming dreaming</em></p><p><em>Insane dreams without meaning meaning</em></p><p><em>Children of Chaos</em></p><p><em></em></p><p><em>Cthulhu will be free whe-en the stars are right</em></p><p><em>Cthulhu will be free whe-en the stars are right</em></p><p><em>And with the stars will come, eternal night</em></p><p><em>Children of Chaos…..</em></p><p></p><p>They drove off into the sunset.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DM with a vengence, post: 197213, member: 1679"] The long awaited update, this one is pure gold! David was feeling the effects of more than 24 hours without sleep, so he took a brief nap on the couch in Dr. Morgan’s office before calling a cab to get back to the dorms (less than ¾ of a mile). About halfway there, a large truck pulled across the road in front of him and two guys got out and began to unload things, blocking his path. Weighing the odds, he decided to get out and walk the rest of the way to his room. When he arrived, standing outside his door was a young woman, breathing heavily. “Hello. Are you David Chaise?” “Yes.” He answered slightly puzzled. “I want you to go check out a ghost, a friend of mine has had some weird experiences, and another friend who I mentioned it to said that you were studying Parapsychology, and might be able to help.” “Yeah, that’d be me. Why are you breathing heavily?” “Asthma attack.” She wheezed, “Its just a minor one, I’ll be fine.” “Okay, I a little tired right now, so if I could meet you tomorrow morning at coffee shop somewhere that’d be good.” He said. “Sounds fine with me.” She replied. “I didn’t catch your name.” David said. “Dudash, Jeanne Dudash.” “Hello, I’m a student at Miskatonic researching lost civilizations. Do you have any original sources, maybe some old books or a restricted section. Bastards, just hung up.” Marta crossed off another college in her almanac and called the last one on her list, a little place called Weaslyn. “Hello, I’m a student at Miskatonic researching lost civilizations. Do you have any original sources, maybe some old books or a restricted section. You do? Great, I’ll be over there first thing in the morning.” She left a note for Saquina, caught a bus to the train station, and bought one ticket to Weaslyn, checking her self into a motel there at about 3:00 in the morning. “That’s really very interesting, but could we please see the house now.” David sipped his triple latte mocha cappuccino. “Sure, it’s just down this way.” Jeanne Dudash stood up and walked down a few blocks. The house she indicated was an old 18th-19th sea captains house that had been converted to a boarding house for several students. “It’s in the attic. My friend says that sometimes when he’s walking home, he sees strange lights in his window, and that his closets slams open and shut and the toilet flushes unexpectedly.” “Sounds like he needs a plumber, not me.” David joked as he climbed up the several flights of stairs. She indicated a door set in the cramped hallway. “This is it.” “Ladies first.” He opened the door and gestured her inside. Then he took out an infrared camera and looked at the wall. There was a warm spot on the wall, like someone was standing against it. He peaked around the doorframe, and just dodged a rapidly descending nightstick. He rushed inside and tried to the rip the nightstick out a man’s hands. He grabbed at it when Jeanne said, “Freeze.” She was holding a very small, very deadly pistol. “Put the bag down and sit in the chair.” She indicated a sturdy wooden armchair near the center of the room. He complied, and the man tied him down at the wrists, ankles and waist. Jeanne hooked up a polygraph and then calibrated it. “Okay, what happened last night?” She demanded, studying the printout. “What are you talking about?” David asked innocently. “Can it, wise guy. Something happened last night because a group we keep track of were there, and you contacted them. If this mattered involved something slightly criminal, don’t worry we aren’t the government. We aren’t interested in prosecuting.” He sighed. “All right. Last night I went to a rave with my friends. We left midway through, minus one person who we weren’t able to find. When we arrived back at the dorm, there was a strange glow in the top floor. When we looked inside, some sort of warp blocked the top of the stairs. I managed to pass through and found two people in strange robes watching the rave on a small TV. It was covered in mist and disappeared, and they said that that was good. I attacked them, disarmed one of his gun and used it to shoot them both. I cleaned up the scene, and then called the police. When I tried to go back up some freaky agent dude was there. Yesterday I went up there with my class, and then I went to the rave site. I won’t go into more detail, because there are copies of my report in the bag, but it was very weird.” He indicated the bag of equipment. “Thank you, you’ve been most helpful.” Jeanne said. “Just remember, be careful. There are forces out there greater than you can comprehend, and you might have made them very angry. We’ll be in touch.” “And now you inject me with a sedative and I wake up in my bed.” David said, half if jest. “You people sometimes take all the fun out of this business.” Everything went black. The restricted section at Weaslyn had nothing that she wanted to know. It was mostly just old and fragile books, not old and arcane tomes. Marta finally gave up in disgust after spending half a day there. She walked back to her motel to start calling schools and collectors around the country in search of what she wanted when a young woman in white pants and a black T-shirt emblazoned with stars stepped in front of her. “Hello, I’m Tammy. Basho said that you were looking for knowledge.” She tilted her head to one side and smiled. “Uh, hello.” Marta replied, startled by Tammy. “Who are you and who’s Basho.” “I’m an Acolyte of Stars, and Basho is our leader. He knows lots of things. He knows what you are looking for.” Marta found Tammy’s short simple sentences and constant smiling very unnerving, but continued anyway. “What am I looking for?” She asked, nearly mesmerized. “The truth that will set you free on the Path to the Stars. Basho knows the Path. Will you go with us?” Tammy smiled again. “Could I have a moment to think about it?” Marta asked. “Sure!” Tammy almost yelled. Marta ran back to her motel room and grabbed her stuff, then made a few phone calls. “Saquina, I’m coming back to Arkham, could you pick me up at the station at 3:00? Thanks.” After an uneventful train ride, and an equally uneventful drive back to Miskatonic U, they pulled up infront of the dorm. Occupying 6 parking spaces was an old school bus painted black with white stars and filled with people. Tammy stepped out and waved. “Hello Marta!” David woke up in his bed, it was 4:00. His bag of Parapyschology tools was next to the door, minus his reports. He cleaned himself up and went over to Dr. Morgan’s office. Dr. Morgan was pacing the room in a panic. “David! Where the hell were you?” “With some friends.” David said dryly. “Did something happen?” “Someone broke in and trashed the lab. The samples, my equipment, all ruined!” Dr. Morgan wailed. David looked in, the lab was indeed a mess, with hardware smashed, papers in the sink and already disintegrating, and samples dumped on the floor. The window was open, and by marks around the frame David could tell that it had been forced. It lead to a small grassy area that abutted the main parking lot that then sloped down to Miskatonic Sound. In the flowerbed outside the window were a pair or poorly preserved footprints. David walked outside and examined them, they were size 11 dress shoes. He poured plaster in the casts and waited, wondering what to do next. “So Marta, are you coming with us?” Tammy asked. “Umm, I’m not certain.” Marta said, put off by Tammy’s wierdness. “We hold the answers you want to know. Answers that can only be obtained by walking the Path. Do you want to go on the Path?” Tammy asked again. “I’ll go.” Saquina said. “Come on, it’ll be fun.” Reluctantly, Marta and Saquina got on the bus, which was filled with young people from age 16 to 25. “Come on folks.” Tammy said as the bus shuddered to a start. “Lets have a sing along.” [Size=1]To the tune of “Rise and shine, and give God your glory glory[/size] [I]Cthulhu Fhtagn, Cthulhu Fhtagnie-tangie Cthulhu Fhtagn, Cthulhu Fhtagnie-tangie Eat their souls, and drive them insanie-sanie Children of Chaos In dead R’lyeh, Cthulhu lies dreaming dreaming In dead R’lyeh, Cthulhu lies dreaming dreaming Insane dreams without meaning meaning Children of Chaos Cthulhu will be free whe-en the stars are right Cthulhu will be free whe-en the stars are right And with the stars will come, eternal night Children of Chaos…..[/I] They drove off into the sunset. [/QUOTE]
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