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[CoC] A Comedy of Cthulhu
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<blockquote data-quote="DM with a vengence" data-source="post: 220814" data-attributes="member: 1679"><p><strong>The Final Update (Guess what happens)</strong></p><p></p><p>After a drive about three hours, the Starbus pulled up inside the Path compound, with its double 12 foot chain-link razor-wire topped fences and squads of guards in camouflage carrying assault rifles. Besides the guards, most of the people in the camp were wearing loose white pants and tunics made out of crude linen. As they got off the bus, a group of Acolytes handed everybody the uniforms and told them to get dressed in the changing building, then come back out for an orientation movie.</p><p></p><p> The changing building was a large plank shed with dozens of dressing room stalls. Marta and Saquina went into their respective stalls and changed. Saquina changed and left her clothes on the floor, just like the sign said, but Marta elected to just put the clothing on over her street clothes and conceal useful items such as food, cash, and her cell phone in her pockets. </p><p></p><p>After changing the newcomers were ushered into another building with rows of folding chairs, a projection booth, and a movie screen. On of the acolytes turned on the projector, which started a poorly acted, directed, and written nonsensical movie with special effects that make ‘Southpark’ look like the latest CGI masterpiece from Lucasfilm. The basic plot went something like this: </p><p>The movie continued in the same fashion for 2 hours and 57 minutes, when it mercifully finished.</p><p></p><p> The initiates were ushered out of the building, into an open area, where the entire compound was gathered around a raging bonfire. Three people dressed in red robes emblazoned with eldritch symbols walked through the crowd up to the fire, and the center stretched his arms out in front of him. The cult fell to the ground, bowing and murmuring “Basho, Basho!” Marta and Saquina followed their movements, trying not to attract much attention.</p><p>The leader stepped forward and spoke imperiously. “Acolytes! Today we have taken a step forward, for we have recovered an artifact of incredible power.” He held in one hand a fist sized black gemstone that glinted ruddily in the fire light. “This will allow us to continue on our path. But, with each gain comes a loss. I have discovered a traitor among us, who has been working with forces holding our masters imprisoned.” The stone disappeared, in its place was a dagger. Basho slammed the knife down into the chest of the person on his left, the yanked the blade out and pushed the corpse into the fire. The body burst into flames, blue, then red, then yellow. “So suffer all traitors!” Basho yelled.</p><p>“So suffer all traitors!” The cultists echoed.</p><p>Basho and the remaining robed person retreated, and the crowd began to dissipate. “I’m going to try something.” Marta whispered to Saquina.</p><p>Marta fell to the ground and began to flail her limbs wildly. “Cthulhu Ftagn! Oh God, save me! Help! Cthulhu Ftagn! Cthulhu Ftagn! Cthulhu Ftagn!” She stood up, and said in a deep, commanding, and possessed voice. “My servants, this body contains my most powerful daughter, who you are to respect in every way. My power will smite anybody who disrespects her. Do what she says, and all will be fine.” Marta crumpled to ground bonelessly as people came running over.</p><p></p><p>“According to the Acolytes, you had a very interesting attack after the Starfire.” Basho said, toying with the gemstone.</p><p>“I… I don’t understand, your eminence.” Marta mumbled.</p><p>“You were possessed by the power of Cthulhu and he said that you were his daughter. If that is true, then can you use this.” He handed her the stone, at close range Marta could see it was banded black and red. “What do you see?”</p><p>Marta looked into the stone, seeing nothing. “Aaiiiiieeeee! This is dedicated to another. Destroy it, my father commands.”</p><p>“Destroy my precious?” Basho asked. “You presume too much. Can your father protect you from this?” He reached his hand out and closed it into a fist, muttering strange words. Marta leapt towards him, and then something grabbed her, squeezing her. She couldn’t breath, the force was crushing the life out of her. Black spots danced before her eyes, and then everything was black.</p><p></p><p>Marta awoke tied down in a chair, according to the clock on the wall it was 3:00 in the morning. Basho looked up from the stone. “Too bad, Marta, you seemed like you were going somewhere. Good night.” He replaced the stone in a gold box, closed it, and walked out, turning off the lights.</p><p></p><p>Something filled the darkness of the room with a hiss. “Hello.” Marta said, peering into the darkness. “Is anybody here? Oh. Crap.”</p><p></p><p>Saquina was engaged in a late night discussion about the greatness of Basho when his office building exploded in a shower of splinters. A spear of solid darkness shot out and vaporized a group of cultists. The guards were opening fire, but their bullets couldn’t harm it. The spear shot towards the cluster of generators, and all over the compound, the lights died. Screams filled the air as guards and cultists were ripped apart by the darkness the whisked around the camp killing people left and right. Saquina turned and saw a burning red eye divided into three sections…</p><p></p><p>David couldn’t find out anything else, so he was taking a walk along Miskatonic Sound to clear his head and get some new ideas. He was the only person in sight along a stretch of sandy strand when he heard a splash and a hiss from behind him. He turned, drawing a Browning Hi-Power pistol and saw a creature that should have been coming from the Black Lagoon, not nice peaceful Miskatonic Sound. He sighted on the creature and fired, emptying the clip. The creature dropped, blood spurting from half a dozen wounds. David heard a hiss behind him and felt cold, fishy breath on his neck. As he whirled to confront this new threat, it occurred to him that he was out of ammo, and the thing had very big claws…</p><p></p><p>No suspect was ever apprehended in the murder of David Chais, however there has always been some puzzlement over what he shot at, or why was there a grizzly bear next to Miskatonic Sound.</p><p></p><p>The constant isolation of the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane was slowly eating away at the normally sane Jonathan’s mind. He had started to have nightmares, and then night terrors. Treatment was ineffective, and eventually he was found in his room covered in 2 inch sucker marks and drained of all blood. No one was certain how it happened, and the case was quietly hushed up.</p><p></p><p>Jacob and Jessica avoided the Mythos fates the occurred to their friends, but on a sad note, both were run over by an old school bus belonging to a new-age religion. The driver was charged with involuentary manslaughter, but skipped bail. No charges were were pressed against the Road to Space or their leader, Basho.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DM with a vengence, post: 220814, member: 1679"] [b]The Final Update (Guess what happens)[/b] After a drive about three hours, the Starbus pulled up inside the Path compound, with its double 12 foot chain-link razor-wire topped fences and squads of guards in camouflage carrying assault rifles. Besides the guards, most of the people in the camp were wearing loose white pants and tunics made out of crude linen. As they got off the bus, a group of Acolytes handed everybody the uniforms and told them to get dressed in the changing building, then come back out for an orientation movie. The changing building was a large plank shed with dozens of dressing room stalls. Marta and Saquina went into their respective stalls and changed. Saquina changed and left her clothes on the floor, just like the sign said, but Marta elected to just put the clothing on over her street clothes and conceal useful items such as food, cash, and her cell phone in her pockets. After changing the newcomers were ushered into another building with rows of folding chairs, a projection booth, and a movie screen. On of the acolytes turned on the projector, which started a poorly acted, directed, and written nonsensical movie with special effects that make ‘Southpark’ look like the latest CGI masterpiece from Lucasfilm. The basic plot went something like this: The movie continued in the same fashion for 2 hours and 57 minutes, when it mercifully finished. The initiates were ushered out of the building, into an open area, where the entire compound was gathered around a raging bonfire. Three people dressed in red robes emblazoned with eldritch symbols walked through the crowd up to the fire, and the center stretched his arms out in front of him. The cult fell to the ground, bowing and murmuring “Basho, Basho!” Marta and Saquina followed their movements, trying not to attract much attention. The leader stepped forward and spoke imperiously. “Acolytes! Today we have taken a step forward, for we have recovered an artifact of incredible power.” He held in one hand a fist sized black gemstone that glinted ruddily in the fire light. “This will allow us to continue on our path. But, with each gain comes a loss. I have discovered a traitor among us, who has been working with forces holding our masters imprisoned.” The stone disappeared, in its place was a dagger. Basho slammed the knife down into the chest of the person on his left, the yanked the blade out and pushed the corpse into the fire. The body burst into flames, blue, then red, then yellow. “So suffer all traitors!” Basho yelled. “So suffer all traitors!” The cultists echoed. Basho and the remaining robed person retreated, and the crowd began to dissipate. “I’m going to try something.” Marta whispered to Saquina. Marta fell to the ground and began to flail her limbs wildly. “Cthulhu Ftagn! Oh God, save me! Help! Cthulhu Ftagn! Cthulhu Ftagn! Cthulhu Ftagn!” She stood up, and said in a deep, commanding, and possessed voice. “My servants, this body contains my most powerful daughter, who you are to respect in every way. My power will smite anybody who disrespects her. Do what she says, and all will be fine.” Marta crumpled to ground bonelessly as people came running over. “According to the Acolytes, you had a very interesting attack after the Starfire.” Basho said, toying with the gemstone. “I… I don’t understand, your eminence.” Marta mumbled. “You were possessed by the power of Cthulhu and he said that you were his daughter. If that is true, then can you use this.” He handed her the stone, at close range Marta could see it was banded black and red. “What do you see?” Marta looked into the stone, seeing nothing. “Aaiiiiieeeee! This is dedicated to another. Destroy it, my father commands.” “Destroy my precious?” Basho asked. “You presume too much. Can your father protect you from this?” He reached his hand out and closed it into a fist, muttering strange words. Marta leapt towards him, and then something grabbed her, squeezing her. She couldn’t breath, the force was crushing the life out of her. Black spots danced before her eyes, and then everything was black. Marta awoke tied down in a chair, according to the clock on the wall it was 3:00 in the morning. Basho looked up from the stone. “Too bad, Marta, you seemed like you were going somewhere. Good night.” He replaced the stone in a gold box, closed it, and walked out, turning off the lights. Something filled the darkness of the room with a hiss. “Hello.” Marta said, peering into the darkness. “Is anybody here? Oh. Crap.” Saquina was engaged in a late night discussion about the greatness of Basho when his office building exploded in a shower of splinters. A spear of solid darkness shot out and vaporized a group of cultists. The guards were opening fire, but their bullets couldn’t harm it. The spear shot towards the cluster of generators, and all over the compound, the lights died. Screams filled the air as guards and cultists were ripped apart by the darkness the whisked around the camp killing people left and right. Saquina turned and saw a burning red eye divided into three sections… David couldn’t find out anything else, so he was taking a walk along Miskatonic Sound to clear his head and get some new ideas. He was the only person in sight along a stretch of sandy strand when he heard a splash and a hiss from behind him. He turned, drawing a Browning Hi-Power pistol and saw a creature that should have been coming from the Black Lagoon, not nice peaceful Miskatonic Sound. He sighted on the creature and fired, emptying the clip. The creature dropped, blood spurting from half a dozen wounds. David heard a hiss behind him and felt cold, fishy breath on his neck. As he whirled to confront this new threat, it occurred to him that he was out of ammo, and the thing had very big claws… No suspect was ever apprehended in the murder of David Chais, however there has always been some puzzlement over what he shot at, or why was there a grizzly bear next to Miskatonic Sound. The constant isolation of the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane was slowly eating away at the normally sane Jonathan’s mind. He had started to have nightmares, and then night terrors. Treatment was ineffective, and eventually he was found in his room covered in 2 inch sucker marks and drained of all blood. No one was certain how it happened, and the case was quietly hushed up. Jacob and Jessica avoided the Mythos fates the occurred to their friends, but on a sad note, both were run over by an old school bus belonging to a new-age religion. The driver was charged with involuentary manslaughter, but skipped bail. No charges were were pressed against the Road to Space or their leader, Basho. [/QUOTE]
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