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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Umbran" data-source="post: 5309391" data-attributes="member: 177">Just a note - you don't have to answer any questions about this that you don't want to. Also note - most of us here are not counselors, or mental health professionals, so please think carefully about what we say before you apply anything.First off - some kudos to you for trying to fix things as best you can.Now a question: Does she give a reason for her refusal?Some folks are highly resistant to airing their troubles to strangers.  In this case, talking to a stranger can be very helpful, because that person helps both of you remain in "civil" mode, which can be key to real communication.But, if she won't do that, maybe getting a friend you both trust and who has some wisdom might still be constructive.  You might consider suggesting this to her.You brought this up, so I expect you know that this isn't healthy.  Even introverted folks need to have contact with other human beings.   In a healthy marriage, your partner may be your best friend, but he or she is not your only friend.  So, however you do it, the two of you need to get out and get some real human contact - especially your wife, who by the sound of it is even more isolated than you.My thoughts, should it come to that:1) Your wife isn't evil.  She's under heavy stress, and seems to lack the normal outlets humans have for stress.  That is likely to give her anxiety and anger.  You just happen to be the best outlet she has now.  Don't vilify her.2) You aren't evil either.  Don't beat up on yourself if it doesn't work out.  Sometimes, it just doesn't.</blockquote>

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