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Message: <blockquote data-quote="fba827" data-source="post: 5309481" data-attributes="member: 807">(going based solely on what is written here, as well have having no real experience that qualifies me to give actual advice ....)1) (as others have said) regarding the wife, i was also thinking about depression as i read that -- as you said, it did seem to pick up after the child was born.2) the wife quit her job for the child and has no social circle, so there is the possibility that either-- a) she is simply stressed (no outlet to deal with the major change you both just incurred since she is always home with the child) or-- b) she is resentful (having to give up other aspects of her life for this change)3) She is mad at you but has yet to communicate to you that she is angry (either for something big, or something small, or several small things, or for how 'life' is going, etc)4) Some other topic that coincides with all this that you aren't yet realizing the full effect of (perhaps money got tighter when the baby was born and she quit her job?)5) a combination of 1 & 2a & 2b & 3 & 4?Was there any activity (before the child) that your wife enjoyed as an outlet?(be it physical or craft related ) - perhaps there's a nonobvious way you could watch the baby for the night while she goes out to relax (i say nonobvious because you've said that she's already against consoling, so going out for the expressed purpose of relaxing from pent up anger/stress rather than "just because" may gain some distrust or annoyance )Does she know that you go for counseling?  I know this will sound silly but I know for my parents, if my father was going for counseling, then my mother would just get more angry for a) sharing details with a stranger, and b) every day my dad goes out for consoling, it is a reminder that something is 'wrong' and thus revisiting all the reasons they are fighting in the first place even though she may have gotten over it weeks agoFrom what you know of your wife, think back to before the newborn -- what were some of her more stressful moments (be it with you, at work, etc), and what were her coping mechanisms to deal with that?  Did she normally retreat until all was clear, did she normally take offensive stances, did she normally talk things out, etc ?  Or on a smaller scale, if the waiter brought her something wrong at a restaurant, did she argue with the waiter, talk it out calmly, or just quietly drink/eat the incorrect thing that she didn't order?  (though bigger scale examples are better for you to think of if you can).and, finally, if it does come to divorce (if possible, save it as a last resort option given the presence of the child), be sure it's what you want and then lawyer up.  Even the friendliest of things with the best intentions of good faith can go badly as it gets more emotional.</blockquote>

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