Reply to thread

Message: <blockquote data-quote="Janx" data-source="post: 6063630" data-attributes="member: 8835">Game: DreadName: Santa ClausQuestions1) Why do you give away presents to children every year?My house would be over-filled with toys if I didn't.  The elves have this OCD fixation on making toys.  They just won't stop.  Salvation Army won't take that large of a donation.  So, I just zip around the world, dropping off toys every year to clean out the garage.2) Why haven't you done anything about Rudoplph's problem?I've known Rudolph for years.  He's a good guy, hard worker.  His ex has been real hard on him, won't let him see his kids, takes half his pay.  So, I let it slide if he takes a nip now and then on the job.  It hasn't been a problem, he's got 8 guys behind him keeping him straight.  And that nose, once he's hit the bottle, it really does light the way pretty good.3) What really happened to the Crampas and what are you going to do if you see him again?I don't really like to talk about that night.  It shouldn't have gone down that way, and he took the rap for it.  But now, I can't trust that he didn't tell the Feds.  I'll put him down if I get the chance.4)  What's in the bag that would surprise a normal person?Aside from Marie Antoinette's head, which I was going to put under the tree for Husein, but I missed him before he got captured.  Security was just too tight.  Been lugging that around ever since.  I also carry a my double-bitted axe.  It's good to have if I get sleigh-jacked, that always surprises the hoods when you lop off a punk's head.5) How do you get around the world and down chimneys in one night?Is this a fat joke?  I'm kind of obligated to eat the cookies you know.  I know those science guys think they're all smart and did all this math to prove I can't hit the world in one night.  It ain't rocket science.  It's quantum physics.  I just reduce the size of the space between sub-atomic particles.  Just like space is normally expanding, i contract it temporarily.  That makes Beijing and New York really close.  Getting down chimneys (or through locked doors is the same trick in reverse.  Make the space bigger and I can drive my whole sleigh into your living room if I want.  Heck, that's how I fit all the toys in the bag.  You think this is all fat?  That bag is frickin heavy and I'm ripped from toting it every year.6) Why is it imperative that this year's delivery be made?Well, I always gotta keep the product moving, or I'll be buried in my own house with toys.  But I could just as easily dump that crap in the sun if that was the only reason I did it.  It seems like it's always the case, but there's some folks who had a bad time recently.  I can't always bring them what they really want, but it seems like dropping off the toys brings folks hope and joy, and that spirt stuff is infectious.  It spreads, and for a little while, folks are just a little bit nicer and more like the person they aspire to be.  I'm like the freaking Postal Service.  Neither rain, nor sleet nor snow or freaking goblin attack is going to keep me from my appointed rounds.</blockquote>

Verification