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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Animal" data-source="post: 4566344" data-attributes="member: 40328">now i understand. i didn't mean it in that way and i hope Starbuck didn't take offence. he helped me out a couple of times in other topics and i do appreciate that.agreed.sounds like a good option too, but i imagine him as a more grim and dramatic type (he's hexblade after all). he's a wretched and tortured soul and although he repented and renounced his previous vile life, he is not a saint. he is only a clueless puppet in the hands of powerful good-aligned entities who tricked him into going on a killing spree once more, this time for the sake of indulgence of his sins. so he weeps because he has to murder again and this time he feels for his victims even though they are most certainly evil and deserve to die by the laws of good.i can see there a broad field for reflection and inner struggle. "why do i have to kill again? how come that blood on my hands can only be washed away by even bigger volumes of blood? it doesn't make sense, it's a vile circle. gods do not want a reborn man i want to become, they want a murderer who i hoped i'll never be again". so this is what doesn't let him turn to good wholeheartedly - he feels used and forces of good seem no different from evil in their methods. thus he is inclined to neutrality - all he wants is serenity. and he kills reluctantly because its the only way to get to the place of his last rest.</blockquote>